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Thursday, September 13, 2012

#4 Twitter Pitches and Loglines

In the winter of 1805, Arlen Devlin's life takes a decidedly witchy turn, beginning with the discovery of a grandmother she never knew to an heirloom book of spells worth killing over. But is it worth dying over?

Although this is a bit long for a 140-character twitter pitch, it certainly fits as a logline. An introduction, the genre, conflict and consequence make this stand out.


Patchi said...

I'm stumbling on "beginning... to..."

Does "from the discovery" sound better?

Ink in the Book said...

I stumbled on "decidedly witchy" and I've been told agents don't always like ending with a question.

What about " an heirloom book of spells worth killing over but not worth dying over."

Brooke R. Busse said...

...beginning with the discovery of a grandmother she never knew to.. I'm trying to decide if this is even necessary since it seems your hook revolves around the spellbook. If it's important, I suggest cutting it back. For instance, the word "discovery" indicates that she didn't know her before.

Liz said...

I like it, although perhaps it could be a touch shorter.

DEZMOND said...

I hate it that everything in today's books is about dying or killing. Or at least in American books to be precise.

Huntress said...

well not *everything*.

It is the ultimate conflict yanno.