Read the first sentence and then tell us if it grabs your attention. Why? What does it make you wonder about, want to know, etc?
If it doesn't grab your attention--why not?
Please remember to be respectful in your honesty.
1. Title:The Rapier
Genre: Urban fantasy
It waited in the shade by the cool pond.
2. Title: Crystalline
Genre: Epic Fantasy
The legends gave them their names but time gave them their identities.
3. Title: Broken
Genre: Urban Fantasy
The daemon was dead, no question about that.
4. Title: The Way to Dendara
Genre: Fantasy
For Lucy, it began with a package, a small unobtrusive brown-paper wrapped package.
5. Title: Fairy Tail
Genre: Fantasy
It looked like a celebration.
6. Title: The God Chronicles
Genre: Fantasy
Actually, in the beginning, God was an apprentice.
6 comments:
These are some very interesting takes. I love how you can guess at the type of fantasy from the voice of only the very first sentence.
loved number #3 - anything with a daemon in it interests me :)
here is what i got from these, i like them all btw =)
1. mysterious, ominous
2. epic
3. spunky, no fear
4. Lucy got more than she bargained for
*5. happy, *i like starting with a party, but it could be stronger...
6. sacriligious
hope this was what you all were going for
I think all of these had something great in them. That something that would keep me reading.
1. Ooo, I'd have to read to find out what's waiting and what it's waiting for.
2. I like the scope of this sentence. Right away I know this is going to cover a lot of time so I know to be patient while things are set up.
3. How did it die? Who found it, did they kill it? See, lots of questions to keep me reading!
4. Starting with the inciting incident is good. I'm wondering what was in the package.
5. It looked like a celebration, which means it probably isn't. Now I need to read to find out what's really going on.
6. This one is actually my favorite. There is a feeling that this story is going to smack conventional things in the face and that could be really good.
#6
I've read this as a beta and yes, I am biased but dang!!!!!
This. Is. Original. Unique. And a lot of other adjectives.
I object to disrespectful religious statements. But I have no problem with this line. It still conveys the Divine in the correct way.
1. What waited? And unless that pond is boiling, ponds are usually cool/cold. Sorry, not interested.
2. Kind of interesting, but once again, I don't know who the heck we're talking about.
3. You just killed your conflict in the first sentence! I'm not even curious as to why the demon is dead, and again, no idea who killed it.
4. There's some intrigue in this sentence, definitely hooking. I would read on.
5. It looked like a celebration - but wasn't? Needs more info, otherwise I'll pass on it.
6. This is the best one, by far. I would read on for certain.
I noticed a lot of omni PoV in these first liners. I wonder if that's done on purpose or perhaps the writer doesn't know that they haven't established a character's PoV. I see the latter as a common mistake.
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