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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

#2 Three-Line Pitch Example

Title: Sendek
Genre: Science Fantasy
Word Count: 87,000

Sendek is a world rich with a magical heritage the people have forgotten in favor of science and technology, but Talia Shannon's prophetic dreams foretell an invasion by scaled humanoids. Caught between her job at the Space Exploration Foundation and her magical nature, Talia struggles to find a way to warn her people without revealing her source and at the same time prove to the handsome Commander Sutton that she is not a traitor to the crown.

The arrival of the invading force makes one thing desperately clear--science cannot save them and magic is now their only hope.


Brooke R. Busse said...

The first sentence's two parts don't really go together. I would cut the latter part and incorporate it into the second sentence.

Caught between her scientist job and her magical nature, Talia Shannon struggles to warn her people of an upcoming invasion without revealing her prophetic dreams as the source...

You can reveal the invaders as scaled humanoids in your last sentence. the invading force of scaled humanoids...

L. said...

Science can't save Talia Shannon's homeworld from invasion. She must master her magical nature in a world that denies her existence and prove herself to the handsome Commander Sutton to boot.

Just a thought.