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Monday, August 27, 2012

QueryCon #3--Joshua's Tree

Title: Joshua's Tree
Genre: YA Science Fiction
Name: Neil Harris



Dear Guest Judges,

Set in the distant future, Joshua’s Tree is a YA science fiction at 75,000 words.

When a skateboarding accident hurls 17-year-old Joshua Tyler into a dismal future overrun by flesh-eating mutants, he taps into the strength and courage hidden within him and manages to stay alive, only to discover his horrifying relationship to the scientific genius that brought all life on Earth to the brink of annihilation.

Josh is aided by a beautiful warrior student, Nadia, who believes he may be the prophesized savior sent to rescue her people. While struggling with doubt about her role as his guardian, Nadia takes it upon herself to teach him to fight so he can fulfill his destiny. Terrified by the constant threat of a violent death, Josh wants nothing more than to get back to his own life. But the longer he survives in this strange place, the more he learns about its creation. Charged with the job of assassinating the enemy’s leader, Josh begins to uncover his connection to the army of cannibalistic monsters—a nightmarish truth that could prevent him from ever finding his way home.

Joshua’s Tree is the first book in a potential trilogy and will appeal to readers of books like Divergent and The Scorch Trials. An earlier revision was selected as a quarter-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest 2012.  I’m a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and would be happy to provide a copy of my manuscript for your consideration. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Neil Harris

4 comments:

Krystal Wade said...

Lots of flesh-eating monsters in these queries. I like! Hope to see more of this one!

Nancy M Bell said...

I find the premise interesting. I would stick with Josh's POV in the query. In the second paragraph you skip from him to Nadia and back. I suggest removing this sentence ****While struggling with doubt about her role as his guardian, Nadia takes it upon herself to teach him to fight so he can fulfill his destiny.**** It also serves to tighten the structure of the query if you remove it. Sounds very interesting.

Amy Lichtenhan said...

Hi Neil,

Love the plot, but overall the query could use some tightening. The second paragraph is a mouthful - 52 words in one sentence. I'd recommend breaking up these long sentences and replacing them with clearer, compact sentences for greater impact.

I'd be interested in reviewing the full manuscript.

abuckley23 said...

I totally agree with Krystal. Love the query! Very fast paced :)