An unselfish wish made on the horn of a unicorn will come true. Our wish? To support the writing community by giving constructive tips and criticism through submissions. Check out the submissions tab for more information. We can survive the crucible of fire together.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Queries That Worked-The Magic Withheld

This query for an urban fantasy snagged a request for a four fulls in three days.


Justus Aubre figures Iowa is safe for wizards like him. He can lay low and hide in plain sight answering to no one when he uses magic. Especially the guild of wizards. They would nail his hide to the wall and strip him of his freedom. If only they knew where he was.

Then Sable, a female mage on the run, enters his bar looking for a job and a place to hide. Justus hires her but sets the rules immediately. No romantic entanglements. Sable agrees. All she wants is anonymity. But the two rules are quickly broken and the Guild learns of their location.

Justus and Sable have massive talent. They could team up and fight the Guild together to remain free but Sable has a secret. She is an unwilling servant to the Guild. If her emotions are triggered the Guild will own her soul and then use her magical talent to capture the Wilders.

For them to succeed, Justus must accept the magic and the power he does not want. Or decide if loving Sable is enough reason to become the Guild’s newest acolyte.

The Magic Withheld is urban fantasy complete at 96 K and stands alone, but I believe my manuscript has potential as a series. Per submission guidelines, I am including the first chapter.

3 comments:

Charity Bradford said...

I think this pulled in requests because there is voice throughout.
Character-we meet Justus and learn he's a rogue mage
Conflict-we know someone doesn't like that and they will do whatever they can to catch him
Choice--fight the guild and stay free or love Sable and risk becoming the guild's slave.

Ink in the Book said...

This really is an amazing query. and it sounds like an amazing story. No wonder it snapped up four requests! Thanks for showing it to us for scrutiny!

Torggil said...

I like the idea. I can see why it got the queries.