A Week of Self-Published Authors: Matthew Keith on Marketing

For me, there is no aspect of being an author that is more frustrating than marketing. I don’t like it and I don’t want to do it. I want to write, not be a salesman. But I’m an Indie so I have no choice. I’m sure most of us feel the same way.

Every author in this week’s segment is going to share some of their techniques, and I really believe this part of their interviews will be the most valuable.

Before I get into talking about the different companies I've used and strategies I've tried, let me start by saying that the number one way to generate more sales is simply to write more books. I know struggling authors hear that a lot (I do!) and it sounds kind of trite when someone tells you something so obvious, but the fact is it's a lot harder to find a new reader to try your books than it is to get a current reader to read a second or third one. I am far from a success story, but I do have fans who've read all my books and I know if I had more they'd buy them.

So. Besides the obvious, here is my personal list of sites and strategies.

WHAT HASN’T WORKED

Google Adwords was awful. Not only did I pay for something that produced no results, I was badgered by their staff to spend more with the ‘promise’ that ‘it might help if I did.’ 'Nuff said on that subject.

Goodreads ads more or less work the same way Google Adwords do, but I tried it anyway because the only reason people go to Goodreads is to look for books. Makes sense right? Guess not. My Goodreads ad has displayed to over 25,000 readers. I’ve changed the verbiage nearly a dozen times and still have 90% of the money left of the original account balance (they make you pay up front) because only 9 people have clicked the link.

Facebook. I know a lot of authors will disagree with me, here. I’ve used Facebook quite a bit in the past. I have my own personal page, an author page, I've joined many groups, linked my Amazon product to posts and tried to be witty, clever, and charming… none of it ever produced tangible results. And I'm pretty frikkin charming. I’ve used bitly to track the number of hits on the links I’ve posted and it has been less than 0.01% click-through. For the time I have to invest on Facebook, it’s a waste. Yes, you can create exposure on Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter... you can sky-write your message if you really want to. But always ask yourself this question when considering any advertising: if writing more books is the best investment of my time, what REALLY is my ROI from the time I spend on social media? Personally, aside from one strategy which I've detailed below, I feel the return is in the negative.

CHEAP & EASY ADVERTISING THAT HAS WORKED

EReaderNewsToday. They’re pretty wonderful. Of all the sites that charge self-published authors to advertise, their deal is the best in town. They have millions of subscribers and only charge if you sell books. Their fee is 25% of royalties on sales coming from their page. So if you're selling your book for $0.99 on Amazon, your royalties are $0.35, of which ENT takes $0.0875. You never lose money by advertising with them because even if you don’t sell a single book, 25% of $0 is $0. They require that you discount your book, but I always sell at least a couple hundred copies when I advertise with them. Great exposure and you can't beat the price.

Price-bouncing: This is my term, not an official one. I noticed that every time I change the price of one of my books on Amazon I see a boost in sales. It doesn’t matter if I’ve increased or decreased the price—I get a bump every time. I don’t know why. I assume it’s because Amazon has a list or sends something out or … something. I have never seen any notification come through my inbox for any 'newly-changed-priced-books' or something crazy like that, but honestly... I don’t care what it is they do. I just know I see more sales as the result of changing my price, so I do it often. Takes all of a few seconds and I usually sell between 12 and 20 the first six hours after the price has been updated. Try it. Try increasing your price for a day. Sounds counter-intuitive, right? I thought so too at first.

Zero Pricing: Seems a little ridiculous to set your book to $0 if you're trying to earn money, but it helps in a number of ways. First, it creates immediate exposure. The first time I set one of my books free, it went to #1 in free books for 4 genre categories. Over 2,000 downloads in less than a day and I didn’t have to advertise anywhere. I’ve also gotten many reviews by making my book(s) free which, to me, is worth giving away hundreds of copies because, as we all know, reviews sell books. And, after setting the book back to full price, I always see consistent downloads up and above my norm for weeks. Making it free creates buzz—and that's always a good thing.

Twitter and Noisetrade Co-op Advertising: This one is (so far as I know) my strategy alone. I love it because Twitter is such an easy tool to use for building followers and it takes very little time. It's not like Facebook. On Twitter, you can find thousands and thousands of followers with minimal effort. 

Now, as far as Noisetrade... I'm guessing most authors aren't making use of Noisetrade yet. Until recently it was a platform specifically created for musicians, but they've branched out into books. Here's how it works: you upload your book to Noisetrade. It becomes available, free, to anyone who wants it. But here's the kicker... in order to get the book, they have to provide their email and that email is given to you. People who download your book can also 'tip', of which you get 80% but most people don't tip. The real value is the email address. It's a direct link to a reader who you know enjoys the kind of books you write.

So. On Twitter, I do a search for 'avid reader' or 'bookworm' or ... you get the picture... and follow every single one I can. When they follow me back, I send them the following message: 

@InsertTwitterHandleHere Thanks for the follow! Find the first book of my YA Adventure trilogy FREE on Noisetrade http://bit.ly/1miJdCy 

I use a bit link so I can track click-throughs, which have consistently averaged 24%. I direct them to Noisetrade because it's a great way to get them to try my work, it represents me with a professional look, and if they download the first book of my trilogy (and like it) they're likely to buy the other two. 

For every "thank you" tweet I send, Noisetrade downloads have averaged just over 5%. Currently, I have 378 email addresses from this campaign, and to me those are worth more than gold. Every time I release a book or one goes on sale you can bet those people are getting a personal message.

BookBub, SweetFreeBooks, Kindle Books & Tips, Book Gorilla, Book Goodies: I would be remiss if I didn't mention them. All of them generate sales, but all of them also charge a flat rate whether you sell enough to cover it or not. Self-pubbies, like me, we're not rolling in the money. To me, it just doesn't make sense to spend $50/$100 or even more on an ad that isn't going to net you more than that in royalties.

These are the strategies I use (and don't use). As you'll read over the next few days, every author advertises differently. My suggestion? Find the strategy that works best with the time you're willing to spend and the money you're willing to invest.

And if all else fails--write.

A Week of Self-Published Authors: Motivation and Positioning

In 2013

Over 300,000 books traditionally published

Over 200,000 eBooks added to Amazon

25% of all eBook sales from Indie authors

These are big numbers. Scary numbers for an unknown author with a $0 budget trying to get noticed. On Amazon, our books are a needle in a haystack and our marketing tactics equate to a single voice being drowned out by a 200,000-strong crowd of people all screaming the same message at the top of their lungs.

BUT—that last statistic, the one that tells you only 25% all eBook sales were from Indie authors? To me, that’s good news. To me, that’s a challenge that I want to accept. Current working Indie authors far outnumber current traditionally published authors, so why shouldn’t we work toward carrying the lion’s share of the market, too?

Forrester Research group says eBook sales could come close to 3 buh-buh-buh-billion dollars in 2015. So what that tells me is even if we (Indie authors) only retain that 25% of the market we're currently realizing, that's still $750 million in sales. Would I like to get my hands on some of that?

Yes, please.

Remember—the big six want us to fail. We are an infringement on their bottom line. So of course they will use some of their advertising clout to further the perception that self-published authors are all hacks, and to a lot of readers that's exactly their perception of us.

25%?

No. I say we flip that number around. All we have to do is write great stories and find a way to get them in readers' hands. And we can do that, right? Right? I accept that challenge.

But we have to be realistic. We have to recognize that we don't have the resources that publishing houses do. For any one of us to climb out of obscurity, it takes time and perseverance. Writing a great novel certainly helps, but even that sometimes doesn't matter simply because of the needle-in-a-haystack analogy. Your great novel can get buried at the bottom of the proverbial pile, no matter how good it is.

It's easy to give up, especially after your first book doesn't take off. So first thing is first: get your head straight. You're not one in a million, you're one of millions. Someday, yes, you very well could be that one-in-a-million author that everyone has heard of. But today? Today it will have to be enough to love what you do... and that ain't such a bad thing. In fact, it's pretty freakin fabulous because I'll wager 10 to 1 that you hate your day job.

So... let's talk bare-bones basics.

FIRST THING IS FIRST—WHY DO YOU WRITE?

When I published my first book, I thought, “This is it!” I was on my way. Days went by, then weeks, and then a month. I sold less than a dozen copies. I was crestfallen and felt like a failure—even more so than when I received 7 rejection letters from the 50+ queries I sent out to agents in New York (the rest never bothered to answer). My book was good, or so I thought. So did my wife and mom.

Yeah.

I think most self-pubbies go through this same process. I know the ones I’ve become friends with have shared nearly identical stories. You hit the ‘PUBLISH’ button on that first novel and you get the same level of desperate hope people get when they buy a Mega Millions ticket at the gas station. They're already planning what they’re going to spend the money on before they pull away from the pump.

It can be depressing, especially because that 'refresh' button on the KDP reports page is so easy to obsess over. It was for me. It can drive you insane.

But now… a year later, here’s what's changed for me: my expectations, and the recognition that my "second job" is the greatest job in the world.

It doesn’t matter how many books I sell. Well… let’s be clear, here. I would like to be a best-selling author, but I’ve learned to have very realistic expectations with regard to that. By doing that, I've taken all the stress out of writing. I have a day job that provides a solid income—I don’t need to sell my books to make ends meet. (If you do, if this is your only outlet for income, stop reading now and go put in some applications). I don’t cater to any agent or publisher’s whims nor am I bound by any time constraints due to a contract. When I write, I write because I’m feeling it, and it makes me feel good. It gives me the same high as when the band and I are all in synch jamming out. It’s creation. That’s why I write. I write for me.

Realize what your motivation really is. Planning to become a Dean Koontz or a JK Rowling is like planning to become a rock star. It could happen, but probably not. But you can achieve success and find joy in what you do. Stop worrying about whether people will like your stories and write what makes you happy. When you do that, you will write with passion and your work will personify that passion. That is the foundation for success.

HAVE A PLAN—POSITIONING

Dreams. That's my niche. That's what I write about.

I could have written about the end of the world because it’s popular right now, or I could have written the smuttiest smut to ever put color in a woman’s cheeks because it’s popular right now. And maybe that wouldn’t have been a bad idea. If at all possible, certainly the current market should be kept in mind when writing a book, I get that.

But I have to think long-term. This isn't a 'lark' for me, I'm in it for the long haul. I’m not trying to get rich quick, I’m trying to build a brand and a career. And most of all, referencing what I said earlier—the part about writing what makes me happy—I have to position myself in a genre/category that I know will never become old or boring for me. If that ever happens, I'm screwed. I’ll have to start all over.

Positioning really goes right back to same main aspect of knowing your motivation, which is: as an Indie author, first and foremost, you have to like what you write and you have to like why you write. 

MOTIVATION AND POSITIONING

In my opinion, these two aspects of writing are the cornerstones for a career in writing. They’re obvious and simplistic, but for a lot of authors they're not easy choices to make. The implication of "how long" you’ll be placing yourself on a particular path is tough, especially considering that “how long” could equate to the rest of your life.

A Week of Self-Published Authors: Their Experience and Advice

This week Unicorn Bell is going to be all about self-published authors.

If you’re a selfie, like me, this is one week that will be well worth your time to pay attention.

Through Friday, each day I’m going to focus on a different Indie author and let them not only share their point of view and experiences, but also some real numbers, some of their marketing tactics, and a few other tidbits that are specific to them as an individual. 

There are so many reasons to consider self-publishing as a real option in today's market. There aren't a ton of Indie success stories out there, but there are enough to take notice and more are emerging every day. Readers are beginning to trust these new, unknown authors more and more as time goes by and, slowly but surely, "selfies" are becoming a force in the publishing industry that many traditional publishers originally hoped would just be a fad. We'll be hearing from some of those authors this week.

Although each of the featured authors is different (genre, philosophies on writing, marketing, etc) they have all been in the business for at least two years, have multiple titles, and have achieved moderate success. If you’re an Indie author and you're still struggling to find sales, this is a great week to read every post because these authors all started just like you.

If you’re thinking, “Hey—this sounds pretty good,” you'd be right. 

Unfortunately, you’re going to have to wait an extra day because to start the week, today’s "guest author" is going to be … me.

Although I haven’t been in business two years—my one year anniversary isn’t until the end of next month—I do have three full novels published and a fourth due to hit Amazon in a couple of weeks.

I know the right thing would be to start right in with one of the other guest authors, but I've hijacked this blog for the next five days and if there is one thing I love above all else in the world, it’s hearing myself talk. My wife will be happy to back me up on that.

Hey.

I’m an author—what’d you expect?

To keep it from getting too long-winded, I’m going to break up today’s post into 3 parts, separated by intervals of a few hours each.

The next post will discuss motivation and positioning.

I'll finish the day with a third discussion entirely on marketing and some of the tactics I've used.

Calling All Submissions

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to sneak in and remind you about our upcoming Inspiring Stories Contest.

You still have one more week to send in your submissions. Please email your story to 
unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com before March 24th (with Inspiring Stories Contest in the subject line).

Enter the contest for a chance to have YOUR story chosen to be the featured story on the Real Imprints website! Also, the author of the chosen story will receive a $10 Amazon gift card!!


Things to know:

*Please submit real life stories, an experience that happened to you or someone you know.

*Stories should inspire, uplift, or encourage, and can be as simple as an act of kindness or as life-changing as an unexpected tragedy or triumph.

*All stories will be posted on the UB website with your name unless otherwise specified.

*Stories should be as concise as possible while still giving enough background information and detail. I'd rather not post a word limit, but I would think less than 1,000 words (give or take) would be sufficient.

*The Real Imprints team will comment and choose a story to be featured on their website with a link to your blog (if you have one). The writer of the chosen story will receive a $10 Amazon gift card.

*After the contest ALL stories will be submitted to Real Imprints with the possibility of being posted on their website in the future.

*Please share this contest with others via blogs, Facebook, Twitter, email, homemade megaphones...(Sorry, got a little carried away!)


Any questions?

If not, then you better get writing! Can't wait to hear YOUR story!!

Be sure to check out the Real Imprints website HERE!

Drabble Winners!

What an amazing week! You guys did an excellent job with this 100 word challenge. I hope you are proud of your submissions. We thoroughly enjoyed each one.

Here is how the judging worked. Each of the nine moderators voted for their top three in order. Each time a drabble received a first place vote it got three points, a second place vote got two and third place received one. All the drabbles received multiple votes, so all of you should give yourself a pat on the back. But, we have to choose three out of the six.

Third Place goes to...

Matthew Frantz and Leap Of Faith

Second Place goes to...

Hillary Sperry and Transformation of Style

First Place goes to...

Ginger Faulkner and The Endless Struggle

Congratulations! Each of you can choose a query critique or a first chapter (up to 20 pages double spaced) critique. Email us at unicornbellsubmissions @ gmail.com with Drabble Winner in the subject line. Please give us a week or two to get the critique back to you.

Thanks for participating!

Drabble #6--Close to Death

Close to Death 

Heather panted, sweat prominent on her brow. Nausea clung to her stomach as she crawled to the fountain of youth. Her boots were high-tops, and left dragging trails in the salty marsh.

Spoonbills rested here, a plethora of pink birds arranged around a watery nest. You weren't supposed to feed them, but Heather had no choice. She was dying, and the dead should be allowed to break laws. Tracing a triangle in the wet dirt, she brought out tubers and bulbs from her pocket.

The birds retreated, started to eat. Heather crawled to the fountain, and drank.

Drabble #5--Transformation of Style

Transformation of Style

I stared at the rows of shoes in the window, imagining myself lying surrounded by masses of them. I grinned at the picture in my head. I could live happy in that nest for days.

The plethora of styles beckoned me through the door. A sales girl bounced into view and sat me down. After a fifteen minute whirlwind, I was walking away from the shop four inches taller. Rows of tiny, metallic, triangles glittering on my calves.

These boots may not be the fountain of youth, but I swear time pauses a little every time I take a step.

Drabble #4--Magic Kept

Magic Kept

A triangle of light touched the meadow floor. Sparks swirled like dust, and color exploded in the small space. A plethora of blossoms had been born in the glorious mixture of sun and magic.

I edged from the birds nest and shimmied down the tree, my boots catching only once on a strand of moss. 

Most night pixies lasted only a few moon turns, but not me. I had lived in time with the faeries since my first midnight trip in the light.

I stepped into the glow and felt it course through me. My own personal fountain of youth.

Drabble #3--The Endless Struggle

The Endless Struggle

Smith vomited on his boots.

The killer’s nest hosted a plethora of women, throats slit, drained of blood. The expert, a kid called Boston, caressed triangles engraved in the bodies.

Smith shuddered; deja vu.

Noticing his angst, Boston’s youthful eyes gleamed.
“Ready for the back room, old man?”

Smith opened the door, a bathtub overflowed with blood.
Boston descended upon him. Smith fought wildly as his head plunged into a dark viscus grave.
No, not again.
The sick personal fountain of youth. 

Wrinkles faded as power emerged.
Smith transformed into youth.
“Till next time, old man,” they whispered to themselves.

Drabble #2--Leap of Faith

Leap of Faith

I stood at the Fountain of Youth, boots worn, rat's-nest hair dripping sweat, pouring into my eyes. I lifted my hat and wiped my brow. I'd finally made it.

The three mountains that made the triangle teeth weren't bad. Hard to find, but not bad. This plethora of trees, though, who needs that? 

Now water coursed by.

I wasn't sure how to trust it.

How's it worked exactly?

Fine print somewhere, always was.

Eternal youth?

Maybe.

A river never stops either, but it does end. A big cosmic joke, right?

One way to tell.

I lifted my cup and drank.

Drabble #1 First, the Treasure

First, the Treasure 

The young pirate’s boots clumsily sought each point of the triangle drawing on the cave floor. One misstep, and the walls would fall, burying him and the treasure in a nest of rubble and gold coins.

But stumble, he did. The cavern trembled, and a plethora of rocks from pebbles to boulders filled the entrance before he realized what he’d done. He clutched his map as he was buried, the X his downfall, inches above wealth, an inch from death. He’d arranged his quest too hastily.

His last thought was I should have searched for the Fountain of Youth first.

Fountain of Youth Drabble Contest!

Today is the day!

As in, the last day to email your entry for the drabble contest. All entries will be posted tomorrow for your comments and enjoyment. The moderators at UB will read, confer and pick our winner(s) by Friday of this week.

What is a drabble you ask?

A drabble is a complete story in only 100 words. For our contest I'm going to give you some specific words that you MUST use in that story. Here are the rules:

• Email your drabble to unicornbellsubmissions @ gmail (dot) com with the subject line: Drabble Contest. Today is the LAST day I'll accept entries.
• Your story must contain the words: fountain of youth, boots, triangle, nest, plethora 

I will post all entries tomorrow. The first and second place winners will get to pick between a query critique or first chapter critique!

Still not sure what a drabble might look and sound like? Here's one I did for Rachel Harrie's Campaign a few years back. (I don't remember what all the words were, but goldfish was one)

Perspective 

The goldfish bowl teetered on the edge of God’s knee. 

A shiny blue and white marble floated inside the blackness within the bowl. Billions lived their lives on the spinning orb unaware of those who watched. 

They toiled, strained and reached for more. There must be more. 

As their numbers strained the planet’s resources they ventured outward—out into the black void. 

And His kitty’s tail twitched. 

“Trust me, little humans. It’s much safer in there than out here.” He gently pushed the tiny space ship off the lip of the bowl and watched it fall back to earth.

Got Stakes?

For today's critique, I've had to do something terrible. I didn't enjoy it, but I feel that I did put myself up to critique people's works, so I can't just back away when things are a bit uncomfortable.

See... someone sent me a query, the first chapters and a synopsis. The moment I read the query, I had the niggling feeling that something was missing. I couldn't pin it down until I read through to the end of the synopsis.

When I went back to the query, I realized that the stakes were missing.

People, that's a huge thing. If your story is a house, motivations and stakes make up at least a significant portion of its foundation. If the stakes aren't there, your story looks like a house of cards.

Why?

Well... Put yourself in an agent or editor's shoes.

Now, let's say you pick up a story that reads something along these lines:

Dear agent,

So and so finds out something that might actually not really matter all that much, which makes him decide to take a huge drastic step.

Because now his goal is to not do something that actually makes a lot of sense, because this thing he found up upset him for reasons only he seems to understand.

And now, someones begging him to do that thing that makes sense, so he has to decide if he's going to do it, or go on doing the opposite, because he's still upset for those reasons only he seems to understand.



Yeah. Doesn't seem like anything to get invested in, does it? And if there's no reason for a reader to get invested in a book, there's really no reason to read it at all.

Now, heaven knows that I know that a query rarely does justice to a book. And I'm yet to write or read a synopsis that actually makes me feel: "Yeah. This is exactly what the book was like." But the thing is, the query and synopsis are probably going to be the first things that an agent and/or editor will look like.

You need to prove to him/her that you have a firm grip on what it takes to write a great story. And as I said, stakes are fundamental.

So, lovely reader, go read your query and synopsis.

Why is a character making something his big goal? What's does he really stand to lose if he fails?

If these two questions don't have nice and obvious answers in query/synopsis, you'd better go find them in your story and put them in.

And if you can't find them in your story...

Sigh. Well... at least you know now that you'll need to revise.

Luckily for me, the writer whose query I critted tonight seems skilled enough to not have left stakes out of her story. So I'm optimistic that she'll have an awesome query out of this experience. Which is great, because I'd love to read the rest of her book one day.

Ms A. Nonymous's Query

Yay! Seems someone thought I make sense when I'm critting queries. Such a relief, really.

This lady wants to publish the story under a pseudonym, so she doesn't want me to use her name or the manuscript's. Which is perfectly fine by me, by the way.

So...  here's the query:

Tara Stevens is a smart, successful lawyer with a pocketful of humor and a mouth full of sass. But when she finds her husband in their bed with his hands on another woman’s breasts, she is rendered speechless (not an easy task). Her sanity needs a vacation. More like a month long sabbatical. She settles instead for a two-week excursion deep in the Canadian Rockies.

Her handsome rancher turned tour guide, Brooks Buchanan, is as annoying as he is adventurous. But his free lifestyle and love of the outdoors speaks volumes about her own life as an overworked and under appreciated attorney. It is while Tara hangs precariously inside a 50 foot glacial crevasse that she realizes how much she trusts Brooks. Which is more than she can say for her own lyin’, cheatin’ husband.

When unexpected events force Brooks to end the tour early, Tara travels with him to his hometown of Whitefish, Montana. It is out on the Montana range where Tara realizes the steamy attraction she feels for the sexy cowboy and his lopsided grin. She finds real meaning in the phrase, “save a horse, ride a cowboy.”

When Tara’s husband shows up in Montana with a pleading heart and a profuse apology, Tara has a choice to make. Will the love and freedom she feels under the Montana sun be enough to release her from her old life? Or will the invisible threads of loyalty to her job and her husband pull her home?

Okay, so some of you might recognize this query. Ms. A sent it in for Carol to crit last time. I commented that the "pocketful of humor" phrase should be left out if there voice coming over in the query sounds angry and bitter. So... Ms. A mailed me to ask if I could get some of Tara's humor come across more. 

So that's what I tried to do, along with cleaning up the query in general. So... here's my thought process on the query, so you can see where my final version comes from. Sadly, inserting humor is a rewrite sort of thing in a query. 

Just note two things: 

1) I had a sample chapter to work with so that I could get a sense of Tara's voice. 

2) All of my suggestions are merely as to how I'd write the query. I made clear to Ms. A that she'll probably end up being much better than me at bringing voice across, especially if she uses my advice as guidelines. 

Okay. 

Tara Stevens is a smart, successful lawyer with a pocketful of humor and a mouth full of sass. Right. Let's start on the humor. You want to keep this line, so we need to back this up with proof. So in the query, she needs to be funny, or sassy. Without sounding like an embittered cow. Also, I don't think the query's voice matches Tara's voice. Because she is funny in that first chapter, by being right to the point and thinking about it in funny (exaggerated) ways. So that's what I'll try to do here. But when she finds her husband in their bed [with his hands on another woman’s breasts]<--- not to the point, she is rendered speechless (not an easy task). Her sanity needs a vacation. More like a month long sabbatical. She settles [instead] <--- Last word of the sentence. It's a rhythm thing. Alternatively, leave out completely. for a two-week excursion deep in the Canadian Rockies.

Her handsome rancher turned tour guide, Brooks Buchanan, is as annoying as he is adventurous. But his free lifestyle and love of the outdoors speaks volumes about her own life as an overworked and under appreciated attorney. It is while Tara hangs precariously inside a 50 foot glacial crevasse that she realizes how much she trusts Brooks. Which is more than she can say for her own lyin’, cheatin’ husband. Okay... but we can get to the point faster (with voice). And fast is good in queries. 

When [unexpected events force]<-- We don't need a motivation here. Suffice it to say that he goes home, and she follows him/goes with him.  Brooks to end the tour early, Tara travels with him to his hometown of Whitefish, Montana. It is out on the Montana range where Tara realizes the steamy attraction she feels for the sexy cowboy and his lopsided grin. She finds real meaning in the phrase, “save a horse, ride a cowboy.” I love this phrase, really I do, but as part of the query, it creates problems. See, now it looks like her relationship with Brooks is turning into buddies with benefits sort of package. Which is problematic because it turns Tara's dilemma in the final paragraph into a non-choice. Cheating husband aside, no intelligent woman will give up her career for just sex. Because let's face it, if she landed Mr. Sexy Cowboy here, she could just go find another man back home. 

When Tara’s husband shows up in Montana with a pleading heart and a profuse apology, Tara has a choice to make. So about this choice... I now know that she doesn't like her job, and she's got a cheating ass for a husband... so if it's not just about the sex, why wouldn't she stay? Or why wouldn't she and Brooks just talk things out and find a way to make both both choices possible? Because this is the dilemma. The part where we want the agent to reach for sample pages or to request a full manuscript to see what she picks in the end. So we need to make it clear that this decision is hard. Will the love and freedom she feels under the Montana sun be enough to release her from her old life? Or will the invisible threads of loyalty to her job and her husband pull her home? Beware the answer-less questions. They feel like hackneyed attempts at generating fake excitement, when the story should just speak for itself. 

 Still with me lovely people? Awesome. Here's my version of the query, taking into account my comments above. 

Tara Stevens is a smart, successful lawyer with a pocketful of humor and a mouth full of sass, but finding her husband at it with another woman does the impossible: It renders her speechless. Her sanity needs a vacation. More like a month long sabbatical. She settles for a two-week excursion deep in the Canadian Rockies.
Her tour guide, Brooks Buchanan, is gorgeous and adventurous enough to make her forget all about her cheating husband. If only Brooks wasn’t as annoying as hell. 

But hey, nothing makes a girl take stock as fast as hanging on for dear life over a 50 foot glacial crevasse. Brooks definitely can be trusted. Maybe even liked.

Oh, and being a lawyer sucks.

When Brooks has to end the tour early, Tara impulsively travels with him to his hometown of Whitefish, Montana. It’s soon obvious there’s much more to the sexy cowboy than his lopsided grin. In fact, he's giving her every reason to stay forever.

But then Tara’s husband shows up with a pleading heart and a profuse apology, making a mess of everything. Now she’ll have to choose between reality back home and the dream she’d been living in Montana. Because the thing is that everyone has to wake up at some point, and falling for Brooks might be the second biggest mistake she made in her life.

Hope you found this useful, Ms A! 

Thoughts, lovely reader?

Query Crit: Fade Into Me

I'm so glad this came in as my first query to crit, because I've found that this is a mistake most people make with queries. In fact, I made the same mistake again and again until a helpful writing friend rewrote the whole thing to show me how a query really is supposed to work.

So today, I'm doing the same thing again. But first, the query:

Dear ___________,

Everything humans think they know about evolution is a lie. Aliens, called Abhithians, live among them sentenced to watch over and nurture their greatest mistake...

Abhithian Caedan Frey doesn't believe humans will ever evolve enough to see the magic, much less control it. But he is the prince of the Reparation and he must marry a human in order to fulfill an ancient promise. Bitter about his duty, Caedan figures any girl will do. He's about to propose to a girl when his anamchara or soul mate stumbles into--and right out--of his arms. Wonder of wonders, she's human!

Ryanne Killian doesn't believe in love or magic anymore. She just graduated from high school and acted as best man at her crush's wedding. Her life is not going as planned. Then strange colors in the sky draw her to the botanical gardens, and even though she’s vowed to never let anyone into her heart again, she steps straight into the arms of her soul mate. She can feel it, but can she trust it?

When Ryanne has a physical reaction to the magic, Caedan takes her to his world to recover. All of the Abhithians watch her with growing hope as she sees the swirling colors of magic. Ryanne doesn't feel like her growing attraction to Caedan is enough reason to marry him, and she demands to be taken home. Crossing the barrier between worlds causes her to forget everything about the magical realm.

It's time for Caedan to work harder to help Ryanne fall in love with him. Unfortunately, a rival sees this as his chance to steal the throne from Caedan's family. All he has to do is keep the two unlikely lovers separated until after Caedan's birthday.

FADE INTO ME is a contemporary YA Fantasy similar in style to Julie Kagawa's Iron King. My first novel, THE MAGIC WAKES was released by Wido Publishing in 2013.

Thanks for your time and consideration,

[Redacted]

So, ladies and gents, do you see the mistake? It's pretty subtle... 

No? 

Okay. The mistake here is that the query pitch actually resembles a synopsis. 

A synopsis is a more exact rendition of the story, usually a page or two long, listing events of the story in detail. 

A query is the author's first audition with an agent. In it, a writer needs to show-case both writing skill, and the ability to distill a story into its bare bones. Why? Because the agent needs to know within seconds whether or not he/she is interested in reading on. 

As such, any query needs to inform the agent of the following: 

Character intro: Who is the MC and what’s his/her current situation? 

Inciting incident: What happens to really kick the story off? 

Goal: What must be done in reaction to the inciting incident? 

Conflict: What’s keeping the character from achieving the goal? 

Stakes: What happens if it all goes wrong?

You need to answer all of those questions in 250 words or less. 

So with the information I have, I rewrote the query like this: 

Unknown to humans, aliens called Abhithians live among them. Their purpose: to [insert something that leads up to Caedan and his goal to marry.]

Caedan Frey has fulfilled this duty all his life, but that doesn’t exempt him from his duties as the prince of the Reparation. He must marry a human in order to fulfill an ancient promise before his birthday. If he doesn’t, [insert terrible result]. The way he sees it, the sooner he marries, the better, and any girl will do. He's about to propose to someone when his soul mate stumbles into--and right out--of his arms. Wonder of wonders, she's human! 

Ryanne Killian might be his one shot at happiness and Caedan is willing to do anything be with her. But after a disastrous experience with love, Ryanne isn’t willing to give anyone else a chance. 

He’ll need to convince her to marry him within [insert timeframe]. Which is a problem, because a rival for the throne sees his opportunity to get rid of Caedan, and keeping Ryanne away from him is all too easy.

Obviously, this version needs a ton of work (I don't have enough info to actually polish it), but it's a good foundation with which to start. 

But now's the fun part for you, lovely people. If you look at my query, can you find further ways to improve it? 

Introducing: Misha and what she'll do for you on Unicorn Bell

Hi. I'm Misha.

I'm one of the new moderators... Meh that sounds horrible. I'm one of the newer awesome peeps making sure that this blog runs smoothly. 

A lot of you probably know me from my other blog. 

For those of you who don't, I'll share five quick facts about myself:

1) I write spec fic, romance, a bit of mystery and a smidge of period stuff. In YA and Adult. 

2) I read a lot wider than I write, but I don't do horror, and I don't do erotica. (Useful to note for crit submissions.) 

3) I own five kittens (seven months old), so I guess I'm well on my way to become a crazy cat lady writer person. 

4) I LOVE helping new writers and seasoned writers alike. 

5) My crit style is bare-knuckles honesty. If I like something, I'll tell you and why. If I don't like something, I'll tell you and why. I do my utmost best to refrain from sarcasm in my comments. BUT. If you're wanting constant praise, I'm not the person to send your book to. Generally though, I crit the way I like to be critiqued, which means you won't have to wade through tons of muck in order to get to the point I'm making. 

Okay? Okay. 

With that done, we can get to the fun part! Basically, I have all week to help writers, and I thought I'd start by critting queries, synopses, and/or first chapters. So feel free to send me one, two or all three of them. I won't post all three, but I will send back a full crit while posting the thing I think will help other writers most. 

For example: If you send me a query. I'll post it. If you send me a query and synopses, I'll post the one that has something new to learn from, or seems more interesting to me. I will, however, send back a critique on both to your e-mail address. Odds are that I won't post first chapters, unless they are short. But I'd like to read them, because it gives me a good feeling for voice, which can make a query letter shine. 

I have five days available this week. For now, I'll work on a first come, first serve basis. After the first five, I'll file the mails away for my next opportunity to critique. And those will be done first. Unless I get a ton. But I'm assuming I won't so no worries. :-P 

To submit: 

Write me a short message, letting me know if there's anything in particular that you struggle with. 

Then, paste in the body of the email your query, synopsis and first chapter to the same WiP. Emails with attachments, or with mismatched submission materials will not be critiqued. 

Please put my name in the email's subject line. 

I'll let you know when the post will go live.

Address to send to: unicornbellsubmissions(at)gmail(dot)com

I really hope you ladies and gents find my help useful! 

Inspiring Stories Contest

I'm excited to announce that Unicorn Bell is teaming up with Real Imprints to host an Inspiring Stories Contest March 24th-28th!!

What is Real Imprints you ask?

It is an AMAZING website designed to uplift, encourage, and inspire. The stories on the website are centered around themes such as triumph, failure, love, loss, hope, friendship, and all around goodness. These inspiring stories highlight children, cancer survivors, Olympic winners, families, and anyone who has a story to share.

The creator of Real Imprints had a vision...

"This all started with a simple thought of how amazing the “real” part of people is. Sometimes we feel the need to appear perfect and amazing, but more times than not, the thing that makes people amazing is the journey they’ve been on and what they’ve done along the way. We have all been given a different path and our perspectives often depend on what we’ve experienced. Real Imprints provides the opportunity to share your journey, to bless others with the things you’ve learned, the perspectives you gleaned, and the blessings you’ve received as you’ve trudged along YOUR path. As we share our stories, aspirations, dreams, realities, struggles, and triumphs, we can connect our paths and learn from the “real” amazing parts of us. We can let go of the need to be perfect right now, celebrate our progress, embrace our lives and circumstances, knowing that we each have a purpose and can make a difference. We believe that as we share the “real” parts of our lives, it will inspire and give hope to so many, leaving imprints in lives and hearts."

                                                                                                               --Real Imprints


This leads me to our upcoming contest!

Send your own Inspiring Story to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com before March 24th (with Inspiring Stories Contest in the subject line).
Enter the contest for a chance to have YOUR story chosen to be the featured story on the Real Imprints website! Also, the author of the chosen story will receive a $10 Amazon gift card!!


Things to know:

*Please submit real life stories, an experience that happened to you or someone you know.

*Stories should inspire, uplift, or encourage, and can be as simple as an act of kindness or as life-changing as an unexpected tragedy or triumph.

*All stories will be posted on the UB website with your name unless otherwise specified.

*Stories should be as concise as possible while still giving enough background information and detail. I'd rather not post a word limit, but I would think less than 1,000 words (give or take) would be sufficient.

*The Real Imprints team will comment and choose a story to be featured on their website with a link to your blog (if you have one). The writer of the chosen story will receive a $10 Amazon gift card.

*After the contest ALL stories will be submitted to Real Imprints with the possibility of being posted on their website in the future.

*Please share this contest with others via blogs, Facebook, Twitter, email, homemade megaphones...(Sorry, got a little carried away!)


Any questions?

If not, then you better get writing! Can't wait to hear YOUR story!!

Be sure to check out my own Imprints story featured throughout the weekend on the Real Imprints website. Click HERE!