Tell Us About Your Book #2

Here's another pitch for today. Once again, my thoughts are in purple at the bottom.

About me:
I'm a research scientist working at a private foundation. I work with science-fiction in test tubes. I write sci-fi romance that lacks the standard tropes of alien invasions and the end of the world.

Pitch for The Legacy of the Eye: 
Like all children on Demia, David was sent to the Academy at the age of two to be raised without concepts like marriage and family. The planet is dedicated to academic pursuits, colonized according to Plato's Republic. Sixteen years later, David’s excitement towards graduation overshadows his apprehension of finally learning his parents’ identity.

But when David notices the tiny tattoo hidden beneath his girlfriend's hair, he is convinced Catrine is next in line for a hereditary throne that should not exist on their school-planet. David is appalled that a single family has been ruling in secret since colonization. Demia is the center of knowledge in the galaxy. It is supposed to value merit, not birthright.

Then David discovers his parents are conspiring to crown him the first king of Demia by marrying him to Catrine. Loving her will bind him to a deceitful government David is unsure he can change from within. His leadership skills might be better employed bringing peace to the turmoil at the other end of the galaxy. But can Demia prosper without him? And how long can he evade those who are determined to lure him home? Catrine might just be the bait he cannot resist.

I really can't wait until this is in book form. It's been fun seeing bits of it over the last few months. I've marked this with all the questions the pitch made me ask. This is just to give an idea of what one person might think as they read it. Hopefully I'm asking the right questions, which you by no means have to answer. ;) That's why I read the book. 


About me:
I'm a research scientist working at a private foundation. I work with science-fiction in test tubes. I write sci-fi romance that lacks the standard tropes of alien invasions and the end of the world. This is great because it firmly sets you in a position to talk science and lets the person you're talking to know you understand how you are different from other sci-fi romance.

Pitch for The Legacy of the Eye: 
Like all children on Demia (Love this name, but I always read it Demaria, which is a planet in my novel.), David was sent to the Academy at the age of two to be raised without concepts like marriage and family. The planet is dedicated to academic pursuits, colonized according to Plato's Republic. Sixteen years later, David’s excitement towards graduation overshadows his apprehension of finally learning his parents’ identity. I'm curious about this part because later you talk about him being married off. If you are raised without concepts of marriage wouldn't you look at love differently. Would he even care about who is parents are? Maybe clarify why/how being on Demia is important in the scheme of marriage or at least let us know if the rest of the galaxy believes in marriage. 

But when David notices the tiny tattoo hidden beneath his girlfriend's hair, he is convinced (or recognizes?) Catrine is next in line for a hereditary throne that should not exist on their school-planet. David is appalled that a single family has been ruling in secret since colonization. Demia is the center of knowledge in the galaxy. It is supposed to value merit, not birthright. I'm assuming other planets/colonies do have hereditary rule and that causes problems and thus the reason this bothers David.

Then David discovers his parents are conspiring to crown him the first king of Demia by marrying him to Catrine. What does he think about that? Even if he liked her, would he ever have considered marrying her if all this other stuff hadn't come up? Loving her will bind him to a deceitful government David is unsure he can change from within. His leadership skills might be better employed bringing peace to the turmoil at the other end of the galaxy. But can Demia prosper without him? And how long can he evade those who are determined to lure him home? Catrine might just be the bait he cannot resist.

I like how you concentrated on David without giving us Catrine's side. I want to know her side, but that makes explaining too complicated. Great job staying focused!

What do you think? Would you read this and why?