Thursday, October 13, 2011
Senses #2
Agony wars with my despair. Alone, except for the red-barred snake that
makes lazy s-curves toward me from one slope of the ravine. I twist away but
pain in my shin explodes. My scream smothers the sound of the bones grating in
my broken leg. Dust hangs in the air, stirred from my fall. The grit tastes like
ashes on my tongue. Like regret.
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2 comments:
I love the image of the snake taking its time to get to the MC, and I felt the sudden pain that came with the motion.
Bones grating...wonderful.
I could see (love the dust hanging in the air), hear the scream of agony, taste the grit (which also triggers a feel response from me).
For feeling, I think the "explosion" and "bones grating" will evoke a sensation in most people.
Nicely done.
I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks Charity for this great experiment in seeing, hearing, tasting and feeling as we write.
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