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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

LOL Dialogue

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Title: Of Oak and Dragons
Genre: Urban Fantasy

Finish college or accept an inheritance. This is Leah Sterling’s quandary, a decision with life-altering consequences when she discovers a relic from her unknown benefactor, a snarky rapier with delusions of grandeur. It warns of one the creatures masquerading as a human who is converging on her location.

“Not infatuated, just interested, and checking out the enemy, all that stuff. This is a…reconnaissance mission...yeah, that’s it, I’m looking for information,” I answered firmly, checking the empty lane for cars. “Besides, I want to meet this dealer. I love this stuff.”

Sullen, the blade was quiet for a moment.

Oh, by the way, you have to take me.

My eyes snapped to the rapier on the mantel.

See, you cannot leave without me for any significant time. We are bonded and it would result in a painful experience for both of us if you leave me behind now.

When I speculated on hiding a four-foot sword, the rapier snarled, PAY ATTENTION! I DISAPPEAR UNTIL YOU NEED ME!

The rapier cursed vehemently.

“Hey, hey, none of that buddy. Don’t be projecting that in my head.” I picked up the rapier and held it to the light. “Okay. So disappear already.”

A growling, Bite Me broke into my mind.

At that moment, I heard a car door slam.

Oops...then I was holding an empty hand in the air. Hastily I dropped my arm and turned to the door. I was aware of my racing heart.

Be careful, came a trailing thought, I will appear if you need me and the rapier was gone.

A gentle rap at the door and I opened it. He had been looking at the stone walk, when I opened the door, his eyes came up to mine and he smiled. His mouth smiled, that is. I couldn’t see it in his eyes, only the stygian black was under those eyebrows.

He stepped back so I could pass by and lock the door.

Neither of us said a word.


L. said...

A four foot long rapier? Double check that, IIRC they top out at a yard...

defcon said...

Some things that popped out at me and poked me in the eye (ow!):

I was holding an empty hand in the air.
She's holding up a dismembered hand??? (because that's what it sounds like)

I dropped my arm
Well you better pick it up before it gets dirty!!

I was aware of my racing heart.You can kill that "I" and say: "My heart was racing."

Huntress said...

When I'm feeling especially nostalgic, I'll pull this two-year-old MS out and work on it. Thanks for the crits.

*dang that 'four foot' rapier. I knew that was going to get me in trouble*

kaykuala said...

Wonderful story! Looked forward to this, a break from the poetry bit.