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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Yay or Nay – Scenes that Anchor

Today we are beginning a new feature at UnicornBell called Yay or Nay. Submit short phrases or sentences for quick responses in the affirmative or negative.

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Anchoring the reader to the scene involves taste, smell, sight, and sound. It is vital to the bonding process, pulling the reader into your world. Your audience does the rest with their imagination. 

Here is my example:

The acrid smell of warm mead hovered over the festivities like a fog. The odor of the horse dung was a sad counterpoint.

Rules: Comment below, Yay or Nay. Add your short phrase and I’ll post it for review.

7 comments:

David Oliver said...

I don't want to vote yay or nay on this. It seems like the word counterpoint does not fit in with the era that this description evokes in my mind. If I were going to add a line, I guess I would take it in a satirical direction:

The acrid smell of warm mead hovered over the festivities like a fog. The odor of the horse dung was a sad counterpoint. It was much like someone farting at a dinner party.

mshatch said...

@David lol - thanks, I needed a little early morning giggle (and yes, 8:30am is early for me!)

Alicia Willette-Cook said...

I would have said the same. "counterpoint" threw me. So overall, yay-ish. But change counterpoint to...something else.

Huntress, aka CD Coffelt said...

@David. As all my CPs know, I worship at the altar of metaphors.

"Like the hostess serving beer at a wine-tasting party."

"Like a wrong note in the trumpet section at a concert."

"Like a chocolate souffle at a barbecue."

Ah, I could go on and on. :)

David Oliver said...

@mshatch Thank you! I was hoping for a grin. The first visit I came away with nothing; second visit it hit me.
@Huntress Yes, that's where I worship as well. :)

Patchi said...

I'm not sure I get the counterpoint. I rewrote the passage as:

The acrid smell of warm mead hovered over the festivities like a fog, countered by the odor of the horse dung.

But then "acrid" threw me off...

L. Blankenship said...

I'm with Patchi. "Acrid"? Mead is made from fermented honey. How does that turn nasty enough to be acrid?

There was the one time that I bought a shot of Bailey's while on an airplane -- I needed to sleep -- and when I lifted the cup to drink it the alcohol fumes were so thick that it stung my eyes. But that was just in the cup, and because airplane cabins are so low-pressure.