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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

judge that character #2


Our second submission comes from Patricia's wip, DEAR KATHERINE...



 
My life began the day I turned eighteen and fell off a planet for the first time. Up until I left school, I hadn't started living--I had just existed.
By the time I landed on Millanos, I had fallen on and off most of the colonized planets in the Tetracoil Galaxy. But even after fourteen years, I still felt exhilarated every time the synchrotron was powered down and gravity took hold of the spacecraft. The adrenalin rush from those seven minutes of free-fall, not knowing if the hovering jets would engage in time, lasted me days.
My heart was still racing when the hatch opened and fresh air rushed into the passenger cabin. I smelled brine in the air--my first greeting from Millanos. I unfastened the straps holding me to the seat and stretched my back. Through the internal passageway, I could see the three pilots moving around the cockpit. One of these days, I would learn to fly just to be able to ride in the fun seats. But first I had nine more planets to visit and Millanos was just a few steps away.
[a couple of paragraphs about what she sees]
My instructor's advice from all those years ago came back to haunt me. Make sure you find food and a safe bed for the night as soon as you land. I had ignored her advice only once and I still regretted it. After that I always made sure I had enough money to last at least two days, just in case. I glanced at the tables dispersed in front of the few restaurants close by, noting the dishes others were eating. Breads were popular and vegetables were served raw. Then my eyes met the sign for a tattoo parlor and I forgot about food.

Well this is certainly interesting! I assume the term falling off a planet is another way of saying leaving the planet...but maybe it means something different. Either way, very intriguing. As for our narrator, she (I'm making an assumption that our narrator is female) reminds me a little of my own character who also loves spaceflight and finds both the idea of it and the reality thrilling. So, is our narrator a thrill seeker? Hmm, maybe. 
I'm a little confused and curious about the instructor's advice. Isn't there any food on the ship? Isn't it safe to stay there and sleep? And why the word safe? Not just any bed, but a safe bed. Finally, she sees the tattoo parlor and forgets entirely about food which leads me to believe she's heading there to get one. Now, getting a tattoo isn't necessarily risky behavior anymore, but it used to be and combined with her love of 'falling of planets' I think it's safe to say this person likes a little excitement in her life.  

Now, what do you guys think about this character? What's your first impression of her?




1 comment:

Patchi said...

Thanks Marcy! That's a good way to describe her. I took out the part where she thanked the pilots for the ride so the submission wouldn't be too long. The ship isn't hers. She's hitchhiking around the galaxy.