An unselfish wish made on the horn of a unicorn will come true. Our wish? To support the writing community by giving constructive tips and criticism through submissions. Check out the submissions tab for more information. We can survive the crucible of fire together.

Monday, October 24, 2011

something spooky

 
This week, in honor of Halloween, I want your spooky stuff. Anything hair raising, heart pounding, scream worthy, shuddery, or grim, please send it to me and put unicorn bell in the subject line so I know it’s from you: marcy@tidewater.net

As an example, Dianne over at In High Spirits has graciously allowed me to use an excerpt from her novel, STRANGE TRUTHS. In this scene, Evie has just meets Mr. Thibaut (a nasty spirit) for the first time. 


Without warning, Mrs. Peters hurled the candlestick across the room.
Evie jumped as it crashed against the opposite wall.   Dropping the apron, she looked first at the candlestick on the floor, and then back at Mrs. Peters.
The woman’s eyes were open now, and she stared at Evie with glittering hostility.  “Elisabelle can’t get anything out of that—try as she might, the poor, fat cow!”
Evie drew in a breath of shock, unable to speak, but Lucy exclaimed angrily, “I hoped we wouldn’t see you today!”
“I’m sure you did, you turnip-faced little hag.”  The voice coming out of Mrs. Peters’ mouth was pitched low and strangely accented, rasping and harsh.  Evie noticed that she had changed her position in the chair and was now sitting forward, with one leg crossed over the other.
Like a man.
A cold, prickling sensation ran up and down Evie’s arms, and she shuddered.
“Introduce me,” the voice demanded of Lucy.
“This is Mr. Thibaut,” Lucy said, her eyes darting between Evie and her mother.  “He is Mother’s spirit control.”
“Are you the little trickster responsible for this nonsense?” Mr. Thibaut asked. 
Evie had the overwhelming impression that she was speaking to some arrogant foreigner who had usurped the body of her kind, pleasant hostess. “I—I don’t know what you mean.”
“A pipe that belongs to a woman, a baby spoon that belongs to an old man, a candlestick that belongs to no one,” he spat.  “These are tricks!  You wanted to fool poor, stupid Elisabelle.”
“I only brought what I was told to bring!” Evie said.  But she thought that he—or she—or whatever this thing was—knew the truth of it.  Nora had sent objects purposely selected for their deceptiveness.
Evie’s eyes darted frantically around the room, looking into the shadows and the corners of the parlor.  She knew what she expected to see. The hair on the back of her neck was standing on end; she had goose bumps and was overcome with shivers.  There was something in this room with them, but Evie couldn’t see anything.  She turned back to Mrs. Peters, bewildered.
The spirit medium regarded her with eyes that had gone cold and malignant. “You’ve never met the likes of me before, have you?” the voice taunted. “And you’ve seen things that would turn other people’s hair white!”  He cackled maniacally, while Evie simply gaped back at him with wide, shocked eyes.  How did he know?

8 comments:

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Creepy yet cool. :D

I keep forgetting it's almost Halloween (not sure how that happens since my kids keep talking about it).

Huntress said...

Oh, wow. Very good. Now I must smooth the hair on my neck and tell myself, 'it's only a story. it's only make believe.'

Tara Tyler said...

cool!
are you critting or just posting?

mshatch said...

just posting. I think this has already been critted to death elsewhere.

Brooke R. Busse said...

Almost every story I've written in the past year has been scary, and you want me to pick just one?!

mshatch said...

Brooke, how about two then? I'm game :)

Crystal Pistol said...

I enjoy stories about spirits with feisty personalities. Spooky stories this time of year are so much fun!

Linda G. said...

Oooh, that's delightfully shivery!