Query Workshop 4--The Legacy of the Eye

Title: The Legacy of the Eye
Genre: Science Fiction

Revision 1
David and Catrine were more than friends and schoolmates – they were a team. At least until the day he kissed her.

That was the day David noticed the tiny tattoo hidden in her hair. He recognized the symbol from a book that implied a single family had been ruling Demia since colonization. But David had never believed the book before – it contradicted the core principles on which the planet was founded. Demia was a school-planet. It was supposed to value merit, not birthright. How could all Headmasters have been from the same blood line?

Now David is certain Catrine is next in line for a hereditary throne that should not exist. And he is sure his own accomplishments will count for naught when the next head of the Academy is chosen. How can he love her if she represents the hypocrisy of the utopic society he had always believed in? To make matters worse, David discovers his parents are conspiring to make him king by marrying him to Catrine. He flees Demia to avoid getting involved in the planet’s politics. But he knows one more kiss is all it would take for him to relinquish his ideals. How long can he evade those who are determined to lure him home if the bait might just be more than he can resist? Or should he try to fix Demia with Catrine's help?

THE LEGACY OF THE EYE, complete at 82,000 words, is a work of social science fiction based on Plato’s Republic. I also work with science fiction in test tubes.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Original

Dear[Agent Name],

David and Catrine were more than friends and schoolmates – they were a team. At least until the day he kissed her.

That was the day David noticed the tiny tattoo hidden in her hair. He recognized the symbol from a book that implied a single family had been ruling Demia since colonization.But David had never believed the book before – it contradicted the core principles on which the planet was founded. A hereditary rule was standard everywhere else in the Tetracoil Galaxy because the other planets were commercial ventures, custom-designed for those with enough money to buy their own kingdom. But Demia was a school-planet. It was supposed to value merit, not birthright.

Now David is certain Catrine is next in line for a hereditary throne that should not exist. To make matters worse, he discovers his parents are conspiring to make him king of Demia. If only he could have told Catrine, they might have figured out a way to thwart his parents’ plan together. Instead, David feels the need to flee the planet to avoid being part of a hypocritical government.He knows one more kiss is all it would take for him to relinquish his ideals.But how long can he evade those who are determined to lure him home? The bait might just be more than he can resist.

THE LEGACY OF THE EYE, complete at 82,000 words, is a work of social science fiction based on Plato’s Republic. I also work with science fiction in test tubes.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
[name]
[my contact info]

Query Workshop 3--Casualties of Work

Title: Casualties of Work
Genre: Women's Fiction

Revision 2
Riley’s To Do List:
- Make VP of Technology
- Convince her coworker his pick-up line “sleep with me or I’ll
destroy your career” is repulsive.
- Persuade herself success is worth selling her soul for.

Riley doesn’t mind that her job devours her time. Still, she’s not about to pass up a rare, free Friday night, and the chance to have some fun. She doesn’t expect ‘fun’ to end with a coworker forcing
himself on her. News travels fast between corporations and it will only take a rumor she led him on to earn Riley a spot on the industry’s unofficial list of ‘Manipulative and Difficult to Work with
Women’.

As Riley weighs ethics against career, her friends offer a sympathetic ear. Their support would be fantastic if they would stop pushing her to come forward about what happened. The resulting glances, whispers, and people questioning whether or not she asked for it are liabilities her career can’t afford. But the idea of taking a speaking up – even if it means sacrificing everything she’s worked for – grows more appealing every day. If she can’t decide where her priorities lie soon, rumors will make the decision for her. She definitely doesn’t want to lose her choice again.

The women’s fiction CASUALTIES OF WORK is complete at 92,000 words.

Revision 1
Dear Awesome Person:

Riley’s To Do List:
- Land that VP of Technology position.
- Convince her coworker his “sleep with me or I’ll destroy your career” pick-up line is repulsive.
- Persuade herself that success is worth selling her soul for

Riley’s job devours her free time. The one time she manages to squeeze in some fun - like she's going to turn down a night out with friends on a rare, free Friday night - a coworker forces himself on her. News travels fast between corporations and even though she’s the victim in the sexual assault, it will only take a rumor she led him on to earn Riley a spot on the industry’s unofficial list of ‘Manipulative and Difficult to Work with Women’.

As Riley weighs ethics against career, her roommate, Zane, offers a sympathetic ear. His support would be fantastic if he would stop pushing her to come forward about what happened. The resulting glances, whispers, and people questioning whether or not she asked for it are liabilities her career can’t afford. Now she’s struggling to stay composed around her attacker, continue her climb up the corporate ladder, and keep Zane from spilling her secret. If she loses control of any of it, the fallout could obliterate any job options that don’t involve a hairnet, and leave her questioning her every decision for the rest of her life.

The women’s fiction CASUALTIES OF WORK is complete at 92,000 words. My short stories have appeared in several anthologies, including BOUND in WICKED CITY 2 edited by George Wilhite, and SUGAR-COATED DREAMS in GRIM FAIRY TALES edited by Dorothy Davies.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Original
Dear Awesome Person,

Riley’s To Do List:
- Land that VP of Technology position.
- Stop lusting after her roommate, Zane. Any relationship - romantic or purely physical - would just be another thing consuming time she doesn’t have.
- Convince her coworker his “sleep with me or I’ll destroy your career” pick-up line is repulsive.

Riley’s job devours her free time. The one time she manages to squeeze in some fun, a coworker forces himself on her. News travels fast between corporations and even though she’s the victim in the sexual assault, it will only take a rumor she led him on to earn Riley a spot on the industry’s unofficial list of ‘Manipulative and Difficult to Work with Women’.

As Riley weighs ethics against career, her roommate, Zane, offers a sympathetic ear. His support would be fantastic if she could ignore their growing attraction; getting involved is a time suck she can’t afford. Now she’s struggling to stay composed around her attacker, continue her climb up the corporate ladder, and keep Zane at arm’s length. If she loses control of any of it, the fallout could obliterate any job options that don’t involve a hairnet, and leave her questioning her every decision for the rest of her life.

Complete at 92,000 words, CASUALTIES OF WORK is ‘Ally McBeal’ meets Nick Hornby. My short stories have appeared in several anthologies, including BOUND in WICKED CITY 2 edited by George Wilhite, and SUGAR-COATED DREAMS in GRIM FAIRY TALES edited by Dorothy Davies.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Query Workshop 2--Golden Dawn

Title: Golden Dawn
Genre: Paranormal

Revision 2
Herald, eldest son of a bloodthirsty strigoi, endured two centuries of hell before escaping into the human world. He watched, helpless, as his twin brother was murdered by the very villagers his father insists on raiding. Though he has reservations about his father's human-only diet, Herald has nevertheless devoted all of his 1100 years towards protecting his family from outsiders.

Bewildered by his orders to guard the giant crystal held within the castle, Herald doesn’t expect it to hold the spirit of an angel. She is his father's failed attempt to gain true immortality. One he cannot be rid of. Breaking the crystal would free her, but the un-contained magic would level their sheltered valley. Herald's deranged sister doesn't care. She'd rather risk destruction than let the angel influence another sibling.

When the angel's continued existence becomes more important to Herald than his siblings, it results in that sister's death and his banishment. But the angel has taken mortal form in preparation to leave this world and her immortal-gifting blood is free for the taking. Now Herald must decide whether his true loyalty lies with his family or his heart. Either choice will demand death. Only the right path will ensure the life taken is not his.

GOLDEN DAWN, complete at 33,000 words and the first in a trilogy of novellas, is a Paranormal with romantic elements, loosely set in the 1500’s.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Revision 1

Herald, eldest son of a blood-thirsty strigoi, has endured two centuries of hell before escaping into the human world. He has seen his twin brother murdered by the very villagers his father insists on raiding. Though he has reservations about the necessity of his father's human-only diet, Herald has nevertheless devoted all of his 1100 years towards protecting his family from outsiders.

Bewildered when his father orders him to be the next guardian of a giant crystal held within the castle, Herald doesn’t expect it to be imbued with the spirit of an angel. His father's failed experiment to gain true immortality and now a liability he cannot be rid of, for breaking the crystal will level their sheltered valley. While he keeps her safe from his deranged sister, the angel helps him see the reality of his life.

When putting the angel's continued existence over the lives of his siblings ends in a sister's death, he is banished to his old duties. But the angel has taken mortal form in preparation to leave this world, leaving her immortal-gifting blood free for the taking. Now Herald must decide whether his true loyalty lies with his family or his heart. And soon, for while either choice will demand death, only the right path will ensure the life taken is not his.

GOLDEN DAWN, complete at 33,000 words and the first in a trilogy of novellas, is a Paranormal with romantic elements, loosely set in the 1500’s.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Original

Herald, eldest son of a blood-thirsty strigoi, has survived two centuries of hell. He has seen his twin brother murdered by the very villagers his father insists on harvesting, despite Herald's reservations on the necessity of a human-only diet. And he has devoted all of his 1100 years towards protecting his family from outsiders.

Bewildered when he is ordered to guard a giant crystal within the castle, Herald doesn’t expect it to be imbued with the spirit of an angel. One who, beyond being enchanting, helps him see the reality of his life. But it is his growing love for her that will endanger everyone.

His sisters intend on breaking the crystal, to rid them of the ‘poison’ that is the angel’s love for her guardian, and its destruction shall level their sheltered valley. Herald must decide whether his true loyalty lies with his family or his heart. And soon, for while either choice will demand death, only the right path will ensure the life taken is not his.

GOLDEN DAWN, complete at 33,000 words and the first in a trilogy of novellas, is a Paranormal with romantic elements, loosely set in the 1500’s.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Query Workshop 1--Relic

Title: Relic
Genre: YA Fantasy

Princess Far has always known how it feels to die.

She is a Relic, a person who has visions from their past lives, and she has spent her entire life guarding this secret. In the ancient legends, Relics sold their souls to demons in exchange for unstoppable magic, and most people believe all Relics must be exterminated. None of Far’s past lives match the horrors of the legends, but even she doesn’t know the origins of her memories, demonic or otherwise.

After the sudden death of her sister, eighteen-year-old Far must assume membership in the kingdom’s Council, but all she knows how to do is be invisible.

When a dark order of magi invades her kingdom and thrusts her people into a world war, Far’s past-life knowledge becomes her most powerful weapon. She is the only one who knows the order's secret. But somehow, they also know hers. She must decide if exposure is worth the protection of her people.

Because if those same people learned what she really is, they’d nail her to a fiery stake. Crown and all.

RELIC is Young Adult fantasy complete at 85,000 words. The self-discovery, past-life romance, and world war make it a cross between GRACELING, A GAME OF THRONES, and A GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS.

School's In Week 2 Query Workshop Call for Submissions

It's finally here! Time for anyone and everyone who wants help with their query to submit them for critiques. Here's how it will work.

1. Send your query to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com in the body of the email. No attachments please.

2. Put "Query Workshop" and the name of your book in the subject line.

3. Place and fill out the following at the top of your entry:
Title:
Genre:
Name: (if you don't want your name listed on the post please note it in the email)

All the entries will go up tomorrow (Tuesday). Please come and offer constructive criticism on the other queries.

If you wish to submit a revised query after receiving feedback, follow the above steps and just put in "Revision 1" or whatever revision it is. I will add those to the top of your post already up for more comments.

Good luck everyone and let's get to work!

Query Critique Sneak Peak--Workshop Round

Whew! What a week we've had. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have putting all the posts together.

Now that your mind is overflowing with information and ideas, I hope you've started putting your queries together. I'll post the full list of "submission guidelines" :) on Monday, but I wanted you to know that for the workshop round everyone is welcome to submit a query for critique. Even if your manuscript is unfinished! Don't miss this chance to get your query moving in the right direction.

Queries That Worked--The Magic Wakes

This query garnished fulls and then offers from two small publishers. Ultimately I chose to go with WiDo Publishing. The Magic Wakes comes out Winter 2013.


Dear Allie Maldonado,

In August of 2010 I entered Karen Gowen’s Lettuce Write Contest. A few months later I received an email from you expressing interest in the novel and requesting a full (see below). However, by that point I had decided to make changes and join a critique group to make sure the novel was the best that I could send to you. Since I had prior contact with Allie from Karen's contest, I started with the personalization section instead of my query. The "see below" refers to the original email that I included with the new query.

The people of Sendek no longer believe in dragons, mages, or the two-legged hybrid they created. These creatures are returning from exile stronger than ever with only one thought on their minds. Wipe out the humans and claim the planet for their own.

Talia Shannon has dreamed of an invasion all her life. She’s kept it a secret, hoping it’s nothing more than a childhood nightmare. But the face in the mirror now matches that of her dreams, and she fears the dreams will turn out prophetic after all. She must use her job at the Space Exploration Foundation to prove that life exists beyond Sendek. Perhaps then someone will listen and prepare to fight. Her work leaves no time for personal relationships, but Major Sutton isn’t looking for a friend. He’s looking for a conspirator. His magical talent convinces him Talia is that traitor until a touch sizzles between them and they discover they can communicate telepathically. They’ve barely begun to trust each other when the invading force arrives.

Together they must uncover the secrets of Sendek's past if they hope to defeat the creatures. Talia is the key—if she can learn to trust the magic coursing through her veins.  

SENDEK: THE MAGIC WAKES is an 85,000 word science fantasy with romance elements. I hope it grabs your interest the way it did a few years ago. Sendek has since been dropped from the title.

Thank you for your time,
Charity Bradford
(Personal Info)

Interview with Guest Judge Nancy Bell

Here's a reminder of what she's looking for in a manuscript at this time.

MuseItUp is looking for more dark fiction, horror, as we are light in that department. However, romance, historical romance, YA/MG from a male POV that will entice that sector. Of course, we are open to anything that is well written and crafted. We don't publish literary fiction or poetry.

1. How did you decide to get into editing/publishing?
I have always been interested, and when Lea from MuseItUp Publishing put out a call for editors I thought why not apply and see what happens. I am very blessed that Muse offered me a spot as content editor.

2. Why did you choose the publisher you are working with now?
I first came to know Lea through the MuseOnLineWriters Conference and was impressed by her professionalism and her openness in helping authors. Her advice was always good and there was a never any negative connotations. It was a natural to apply to Lea when she opened MuseItUp Publishing, I knew this was a lady I could work with whose values were similar to my own. (This is an EXCELLENT, totally FREE conference by the way! I've [Charity] been the last two years and highly suggest you bookmark the page now, and watch for when you can register. The next conference will be October 8-14th, 2012.)

3. What's your favorite part of the job?
I love reading submissions, it can be long and tedious some days but then a bright gem opens on my screen and it is magic. I love working and developing a relationship with my authors. Many of them have multiple books with us so it keeps me busy.

4. What is your current favorite book that you could read over and over?
Hmmm, that's hard. I have so many favorites. I guess I would have to say Charles de Lint's The Wild Wood followed closely by The Little Country by the same author. Sorry, I cheated, that's two books, but only one author. :~)


And a bit more to help you get to know Nancy:
Nancy Bell is proud Albertan, horsewoman, wife, mother and grandmother. She lives on a farm near Balzac, Alberta with her husband, five horses, two ponies, various dogs, cats and whatever else happens to wander into the yard. Nancy’s first poems and short stories were published while still in grade school and she won the 2009 Earthsongs Bardic Competition. Nancy works as an editor with MuseItUp Publishing a new Canadian epublisher where she enjoys the excitement of working with authors in the creative process. She also enjoys writing poetry and short stories.

Journey to a place where the impossible walks beside the possible. A place where miracles can happen.

You can read a blurb for this and Nancy's other books HERE.

A Last Word On Research and Patience

You need to research publishers the same way you research agents. Why? For the same reasons.

• To make sure they are a reputable publisher
• To make sure they work with your genre
• To see if they fit your style
• To see how they compare to other publishers with royalties, etc
• To find out how their authors feel about their experience

Sometimes it’s hard to be patient through all the research, but this is necessary. Let me share a story with you to illustrate why.

I have a younger brother who started writing a book. He has a lot of potential. A lot, but he hasn't learned about patience yet, or the importance of researching publishers. He submitted his first three chapters one August (read only three he had written) to a publisher (I don't know where he found this publisher) and two days later he received a sample contract in the mail to look over. This publisher was thrilled with his rough draft and said they would love to publish it if he could finish it by November 1st of that year and get it to them.

What???

Red flags were flying all over the place when he told me this. I've never heard of any publisher who accepts unfinished FICTION. There were a few things in the contract that rubbed me wrong as well. Since I don't know everything, I did a little research. A simple Google search of the company brought up all kinds of rants about their dishonesty. Other writer friends responded to my questions with a "Run away!" type answer. This particular company received an F from the Better Business Bureau.

With all this new knowledge under my belt, I had to inform my brother that he should walk away. I felt like a dream crusher. For his part, my brother handled it quite well. He has since finished the book and is learning about the publishing world.

Now, how do WE look into potential publishers? Let me say it can be frustrating. Especially when looking into fairly new publishing companies--and it seems like most of them are newish.

We use the tools at our fingertips.

A simple google search can turn up some interesting things. The trick is understanding what you read. A new company may not have a lot of concrete info available, but that doesn’t mean they are a bad choice—just riskier. You also have to deal with people who chime in with their opinion (on forums and such) when they don't know anything about the company. They may not be intentionally harmful, just ignorant.

In the end you're going to need to make a judgment call. Talk with other authors in the company before you do, and if you have a copy of the contract, seek legal help interpreting it.

Example:

When I looked up my publisher, WiDoPublishing, there are only a few places I can learn things about them. They are not listed on BBB, have no notes on Preditors and Editors, are not on Publisher’s Marketplace, but they do have a short thread on Absolute Write started in 2010 (links at bottom). This thread’s main concern is that it’s a family owned business with little real experience in publishing and that it was started to publish one of their family’s first book.The last post was in 2011.

More research took me to an articleon the struggles of small independent LDS publishers--also from 2010. This article mentions that WiDo:

...avoids the term ‘Mormon publisher’.  Karen Gowen stated the company is “veering away from Mormon themes and characters to make our titles appeal to a wider demographic.”

The lack of information might seem like a red flag to most, as well as some of the comments on both sites. However, I’ve read books released by WiDo in the last year and was impressed with the quality. Their growth may seem slow to some, but they are moving forward as they learn how the business works. I’m good with that. In my opinion, slow growth means permanent growth. I enjoy the family feel and appreciate the fact they are looking to widen their demographics.

When offered a contract, I made a judgment call based on my personal goals for publishing, the interactions I had with Karen, and my gut reaction.

You have to do the same.

Whether you continue the hunt for an agent, or look into small publishers, follow your heart!

Here are some helpful links:

• The Better Business Bureau--clickable for US or Canada. Simply type the name of the publisher in the search engine. Click Here for the publisher talked about above.
• How a Book Gets Published by Nathan Bransford--This is from 2009, but not THAT much has changed about the industry. While we are with Nathan, here are some other great links.
• Publishing Glossary, for all those terms you might not be sure about.
• Writer Beware Blog--new to me, but the August 18th, 2011 post was about the very same publisher my brother almost fell prey to.
• Talk to others and see what their experience has been over at Absolute Write Water Cooler. 
• There's Chuck Sambuchino's Guide to Literary Agents
• Publishers Marketplace Track Deals, Sales, Reviews, Agents, Editors, News
• And of course good old Predators and Editors
• Don't underestimate a Google search as well. What comes up can be quite revealing.

Queries that worked--Grimoire

After countless revisions of my query for Grimoire, I came up with this one (different from the original by a very few words, I might add) which I sent out to three agents I really wanted to represent me. Within 24 hours I got three requests back - two fulls, one partial. Here’s my winning query:

Dear Agent:

It is the winter of 1805 and the only thing sixteen year old Arlen is thinking of is the ball that will introduce her to high society and that ‘elegant madness’ known as The Season. But when her parents are suddenly killed, Arlen's life takes a decidedly witchy turn, beginning with the discovery of a grandmother she never knew to a book of spells that has been handed down for generations. However, this isn’t just any book of spells. This is a family’s heritage, a compilation of every scrap of magick gathered over the course of history. It’s the family’s grimoire. And someone wants hers.

Soon Arlen learns that the tragedy that took her parents’ lives may not have been an accident and hers isn’t the only heirloom book of spells. Each of the five great witch families has one and whoever holds the book holds the power in this England, where magick has as much influence as money, spells are traded for favors, and witches are courted like queens.

It will take every talent Arlen has – her mastery of the imp, Vathek, her ability to talk to the dead, and her flair for potions – to navigate this new world, and maybe, if she’s very lucky and very careful and very clever, she’ll survive.

GRIMOIRE is complete at 90,000 words and set during the Regency period in England – albeit a slightly different England. I have a BA in History and I have written several other books. I have included the first ten pages plus a synopsis per your guidelines. If you would like to see more, I would love to send it to you.

Sincerely, me

Note: The underlined portion indicates the part of the query I adjusted according to the tastes of each agent. Make sure you do the same.

Queries That Worked - The Charge

After a year of querying and re-writing and querying again, I finally got a full request and ultimately a publishing contract from Curiosity Quills Press using the query below.

THE CHARGE will be released later this year! I am happy to answer any questions about my query.

----

Dear Curiosity Quills Editor,

Eighteen-year-old Warren King has been protecting his brother, Isaac, from bullies ever since Isaac decided to wear a top hat to the third grade.  So when Isaac is kidnapped, Warren heads out to bust some faces.  But Warren didn’t expect the bully to be the King of the Texas Empire.  Warren’s mother confesses that Warren and his brother are some of the last members of the Texas royal family.  The new King is hunting down his relatives before the true heir decides to say, “Hey man, you’re in my seat.”

Warren must save his brother and avoid capture himself armed with nothing more than a fifteen year old Camry and MapQuest directions to Texas.  He gets help from a spirited Texan named Lena who is first girl that ever made him want to do things like iron creases in his pants.  She’s ready to help him take on the King, but since she’s an anti-monarchy activist dating the son of the President of the United States, he’s not sure if she’s going to kiss him or shoot him.  Gone are the days when choosing a major was a big deal.  Now he must embark into a West that stayed wild and choose to be King, follow a King, or die before he can retire his fake ID.

THE CHARGE is an 80,000 word New Adult science fiction adventure set on an alternate timeline where a dictator took over the Republic of Texas in 1836 and built his own empire in the West.  It can stand alone, but I have outlined it to be the first book in a five part series.

Sincerely,

Sharon Bayliss

Interview with Guest Judge Krystal Wade

Here's a reminder of what she's looking for in a manuscript at this time.

I love older mc's (18+)! I'd like to see some good dystopian, more male mc's too, and then of course anything scifi/fantasy/paranormal with something new and unusual.

1. How did you decide to get into editing/publishing?

Curiosity Quills' owner, Alisa Gus, and I became really good friends over the last year. She wanted me to publish with them, and I turned her down for another company who ended up treating me as if I was a barnacle on the bottom of a ship. Alisa and I knew we'd work together one day, but at the time we didn't realize in what capacity. When she told me she and her husband were expecting, an idea formed in my head, and I offered to help read subs for CQ. Thank God for that! Because I wound up leaving my former publishing company--more like fleeing than leaving--and CQP published my first title, Wilde's Fire.

2. Why did you choose the publisher you are working with now?

Would you laugh if I say I'm pretty sure fate put us together and the choice had little to do with me?

3. What's your favorite part of the job?

I love new authors and the excitement they bring. Telling a person CQP is going to publish their work is probably the most exciting thing ever.

4. What is your current favorite book that you could read over and over?

A year ago, I would have said The Hunger Games. Right now, I'm pretty sure Divergent is something I'd read a million times over.

And a little more to help you get to know Krystal:

She's happily married to the love of herlife and raising three beautiful children in Virginia. They live just outside Washington, D.C. and every day she wakes up to find herself stuck in traffic trying to get there. The silver lining in that commute? It gives her the time to think about her characters in full detail.

If you get a chance, ask her about organized hitchhiking.

“There is no pain in this death, only peace, knowing I am going to die with the one I love the most.” -- Katriona Wilde

Read more about this and her second book, HERE.

How to Format (and not screw up the query)

Queries are business letters. They are your introduction to a stranger, your resume, and first impression.

Don’t screw it up.

Writers send queries one of two ways: snail mail and email.

Format snail mail using the typical business letter guideline:

Your Name     
Your Address

Date

Recipient’s Name
Their Address

Dear Mr./Ms.  Recipient:

Body of the Letter

Sincerely

Your Signature

The main difference between snail and email is the beginning. No addresses for email queries.

To: Recipient’s Name
Subject: Query 

Dear Mr/Ms Recipient:
  

Body of the Letter
  

Sincerely
  

Your Name
Your Address
Phone Number
Email

As in all else, Read the Submission Guidelines of the individual agent and their preferences. Some agents want a date on the email for instance. Others don’t. Always check interviews and their blogs for tidbits of info.

Now about tabs: Holy crap, don’t use them. EVER. They are the devil’s playground in emails and manuscripts. Avoid them like the slime balls they are.

Keep in mind that some agents download manuscripts to E-readers. Tabs and other formatting splats will gum up the works.

If you use the Word program, this trick will clean up a manuscript or format correctly:

Click on: Select, then Select AllRight Click anywhere on the shaded area.
 Click on Paragraph
 Alignment:
Left
(never Justified)
 Indention:  Inside – 0
Outside – 0
Special – First Line
By - .5”
 Spacing:Before: 0pt
After: 0pt
 Line spacing:Double
 Click on Okay.

Now search out those nasty tabs.

Click on Find and enter ^t. Rip the little buggers out of their hidey holes and destroy them.

There are variations to these formatting examples. Many writers begin with a simple salutation rather than ‘To and Subject’. Other queriers stick with the snail mail format for their emails. Just remember, agents have little time. One agent snarled, “I know my address. Don’t remind me.”

Use common sense and always research the agent’s preferences. You can’t go wrong if you follow their guidelines.

Links:

What You Need to Know to Write an Effective E-mail Query--16 points, no paragraph breaks, but muddle through it anyway. Good stuff.

Preparing E-mail Queries--Easier to read as it is broken up into sections. Talks about specific problems due to using email, such as "gibberish" when cut and pasting and how to fix it.

How to Format a Query Letter--specifically emailed ones. Once again Nathan Bransford knows how to advice and calm our troubled minds at the same time. He gives guidelines by example and then tells us to simply do our best and it will be ok. Thanks, Nathan!

And for you visual folks, it looks something like this:

Great Places to Read and Get Feedback on Queries

                         Courtesy NASA/JPL-Caltech.

So your manuscript is completed, critiqued, and polished. Now you want a venue to do the same with your query, your introduction to the hazardous world of publishing.

With all the resources in the blogosphere, the hardest part is choosing where to go and how much to put out there.

Like-minded writers populate forums looking for help. It's a ‘scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’ world that works for everyone involved. By posting your query, you get feedback and your writing improves when you critique. It is a win-win situation for everyone.

Consider these sites. They are free to anyone willing to give of their time to return the favor and crit:

·       Orson Scott Card. This fabulous author of Ender’s Game holds forums for writers.

·       Nathan Bransford. A former literary agent and now author of Jacob Wonderbar and Cosmic Space Kapow.

·       Absolute Write. This vast site has everything you need to put together a query.

·       Query Tracker. An all-purpose stopping place with forums to hone your query and research agents.

·       Query Shark. Enter at your own risk! Janet Reid of FinePrint Literary runs a site chock-full of advice. But watch out for the chum.

·       The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment. Run by master blogger Matthew MacNish, this site takes aim on submitted queries with a critical eye that sees all. And I love his avatar.

·       Miss Snark’s First Victim. Authoress remains incognito, still won’t reveal her name or photo. Very mysterious.

·       YALITCHAT. Where they live and breathe YA.

·       Writers.net. A site dedicated to writers.

·       And of course, Unicorn Bell, the home of writers.

These are mostly free sites with some asking for donations or premium memberships. If you are interested in paying for services by professionals, research the sites like Writers Digest.

In truth, finding help is the easy part. It’s throwing that beloved query or manuscript into the icy cold world of critique and wondering if it – or you – will survive. Suck in a deep breath and take the plunge. 

It can only get better.

Have we missed your favorite writing forum? Please share it with us in the comments.

Additions from the comments section:

Adam Heine critiques queries, jacket copy, and first pages on Wednesdays.
Evil Editor
The Public Query Slushpile
Ask Daphne! About My Query

Bad Query #2

This query example is all in fun. Comments in RED. 

Dear To Whom it May Concern: Always, always direct your query to a single individual. Even if this is the only personalization you do, use a name and spell it correctly.

Look no Further! You have in front of you the next great Epic American Novel! *groan* I'm sure agents and publishers see this all the time. Many might stop reading here.

Trust me, it has everything! I put these characters through their paces. They don't know what hits them half the time. I'm surprised they make it to the end of the book, to tell you the truth! Though, to be honest, I wrote parts of this massive tome so long ago there are some characters that I completely lost track of. So they may not have made it. It is set in the Confederate South! Lots of dangerous stuff going on down there! Babbling, doesn't tell us anything about the book other than set in the Confederate South. There are a lot of exclamation points, and do you really want to tell an agent you lost track of your characters?

My main Lady Scarlett O'Hara is a firecracker. She is a true southern beauty, on the outside at least. Though you'll have to read the book to know what I mean by that! She is paired up with Rhett Butler for the romance of a lifetime. Bigger then Ginger and Fred! Bigger than Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth! Dare I say it...Bigger then Romeo and Juliet! Scarlett reaches into Rhett's chest, grabs ahold of his heart and won't let go! Whoa! Sounds painful. How is Rhett still alive if Scarlett plunged her hand into his chest? The question is...will he allow her to have such a hold over her? Or will he rebel!! Read my book! More !!, typos, misspellings, and we don't know anything new about the plot.

The other twist, well, One of the other twists...if I told them all to you there wouldn't be any reason for you to read this amazing manuscript! Anyway! I did an extraordinary amount of research for this book. I mean, just the details of having to know what happened during the battle that made Scarlett homeless? Oh dear! I've given away too much! Though now I may as well tell you. When Sherman marched to the Sea, Scarlett's  dear home, Tara, is in the way and is ravaged and she, by proxy becomes homeless. This pisses her off. What is she to do! Read the book! Find out! !!, typos. It feels like the author is rambling on--not professional at all--and I would worry the novel would be the same way.

Though I'm just now realizing I've not told you the title of my fabulous work of perfection! This is because I had such a time naming it. I cover everything in this journey. Civil War. Cotton plantations. Slavery. Romance. What it means to be a Southern Belle. Starvation. The sweeping epic-ness that IS the South during this time in their history. How could I possibly pin a simple title to cover such a huge journey of a book? Name something that would mean so much to so many different people! But I managed to. This whole paragraph is pointless and just confirms the author doesn't know how to GET TO THE POINT.

I call it. "Gone With the Wind". Working title, "Southern Belles Always Win". Which do you like better?

Thank you for your time and I expect to be hearing from you soon!


Wow! I don't think an agent would have made it to the end of this query. Even if they did, all we know is the main character's name is Scarlet and lots of "stuff" happens to her. There is no clear sense of the conflict or the choice she has to make.

Submission Guidelines are Your Friends

You’ve finished your novel. You’ve written a query. Now it’s time to send that query out into the wide world. All you’ve got to do is find a bunch of agents and hit send, right?

It’s not quite that easy. First, you have to do your research. While you’re looking for agent names, you should also be checking their submission guidelines.

Submission guidelines? What are those?
Submission guidelines spell out specifically what the agents want to see. Do they want a query only? Do they want a query and the first five pages? Do they want a synopsis? Do they not want a synopsis?

Each agent’s preferences will be a little different. Also, agents will specify what sort of stories they are looking for. If you write fantasy, you don’t want to send your query to an agent that only represents mysteries and thrillers. (While most agents represent many different genres, not every agent represents every genre. That’s why you have to check.)

Why go to all that trouble?
Because you won’t be wasting your time. You may want to get your query out there to as many agents as possible, but if the agent doesn’t represent what you write, then the only answer you’re going to get from that agent is a no. You went to the time and effort of sending a query that had no chance of being accepted.

Yes, every agent has different guidelines. They sometimes conflict and contradict. Sometimes they may even be similar. Some are vague. Some are very, very specific. It is your job to know what these are and abide by them.

Agents have preferences. They know what they need to see to make a decision. If you can’t give them what they ask for when you’re essentially applying for a job with them, they’re not going to want to work with you. Who wants to work with someone who isn’t professional enough to follow the directions?

So, where are these guidelines? How do you find out what each agent wants?
With the Internet, submission guidelines are very easy to find. Find the agency website. Submission guidelines will be one of the prominent buttons (usually). If you look for it, you should be able to find it pretty easily.

If you happen upon an agency that’s not online (rare, but it happens), take the time to write a short note requesting the submission guidelines. Make sure to include a self-addressed stamped envelope (remember those?).

What could the submission guidelines ask for?
While every agent will have different preferences, there are some standards. Start with the query. Anything else asked for should go after that query (pasted into the body of the email—never send attachments unless they are specifically asked for).

If the agent wants to see five pages, those are the first five pages in order. Same for chapters—start from the beginning and show them in order (if the agent wants three chapters, he/she means the first three).

A synopsis is a rundown of the whole story with the ending included. Aim for one to two pages, although how long the agent wants the synopsis should be in the submission guidelines. If the agent wants a synopsis, the agent will expect to know how the story ends. Don’t hold anything back.

One last thing…
You’d think that this would be a no-brainer. And I’m probably preaching to the choir. But, I’m going to reiterate this one thing: make sure to follow the submission guidelines.

If you spend any time following agents on their blogs or on Twitter, you’ll see the complaint time and again. It’s the one thing that seems to drive them all up a wall. They are inundated with queries that don’t follow their guidelines. Make sure yours do. That way, you’ll stand out over all those that didn’t follow the directions. Instead of an automatic pass, you may get a positive response. Pages! An offer of representation!

And that’s the point of all this. Isn’t it?

Our Judges Query Pet Peeves

We asked our guest judges what their top two pet peeves were when it came to the queries they receive. Here's what they told us in their own words.

Donna O'Brien

1. GRAMMAR!! I don't expect your manuscript to be grammatically perfect, but your query should reflect a basic command of the English language.

2. Misrepresenting the actual manuscript -- While it is important to have a great hook and interesting query, they should reflect the heart of the novel and not just be a gimmick to get attention.

Andrew Buckley

1. I dislike when query letters are ‘form’ query letters.  And I’m not saying don’t use a form query but at least have the good grace to personalize it to the publisher/lit agency you’re querying.

2. I hate with a fiery passion when query letters only contain a synopsis.  We want to hear who you are, whether you’re planning more books in the same vein, how long the piece is, and why do you believe it’s a good fit for our catalog, etc., etc.  Read submission guidelines…or forever be damned to the 64th circle of hell reserved for talented aspiring writers who constantly bugger up their query letters.

Nancy Bell

1. Failure to read and follow the submission guidelines.  For example sending in docx format when the guidelines specifically state .rtf or .doc  Failing to put contact information on the top of the manuscript. Or sending a genre we don't handle.

2. Queries that claim to be the next....insert here Harry Potter, Dean Koontz etc, or telling me that this book/series will set the publishing world on its ear etc. It is fine to be confident and proud of your work, but most of the queries with wild claims are followed by a manuscript which in no way lives up to its billing.

Krystal Wade

I don't have major peeves but when people don't follow our submission guidelines (don't launch into a I've done this and that and am a member of this and that etc, and don't send the entire ms when we ask only for first five pages) it kind of annoys me. ;-)

Amy Lichtenhan

1. Definitely when authors do not follow our submission guidelines.  It tells us immediately they are not willing to put the time and effort into their submission with us.

2. When we receive the first three chapters and they are unedited and filled with typos. We don't expect perfection, but we definitely want to see authors who have taken the time to be sure their submission is in the best shape it can be.

Notice how four out of five mentioned submission guidelines? Come back tomorrow evening for a post dedicated to submission guidelines and how to abide by them.