Hunger Games--The opposite of Lord of the Rings

I haven't received any suggestions for great endings, and I'm finding it easier to think of the ones that left me flat myself. Perhaps it is true that we can learn more from other people's mistakes than we ever realize.

The response to yesterday's post has emboldened me. Today I'm going to air my disappointment with the final chapter of the Hunger Games.

First, Suzanne Collins is one of the writers that made me cry in shame. She's brilliant with the way she handles scene and chapter breaks. Her descriptions draw you in and rip at your emotions.When I read the Hunger Games I knew I should give up writing and never try again because I would never be as good as her.

However, whereas Tolkien dragged out his ending, I felt Collins rushed the end of Mockingjay. After investing so much of my time and emotions in the lives of Katniss, Peeta, Gale, et al, I needed more closure than we were given. Sure the wrap up was there, but none of the details I craved.

It felt like Collins got tired, or someone told her she could only have five more pages to wrap everything up. (Yes, I know I'm sort of contradicting my thoughts from yesterday).

The point(s) I'm trying to make this week is this:

• There is a fine line between a great ending and a "meh" ending.
• The ending is JUST as important as the beginning, maybe more so because it's the last thing the reader reads.

If you have an ending you would like to discuss this week, please email me at unicornbellsubmissions.blogspot.com with "Endings" in the subject line.

Dangerous Territory

I'm about to step into it.

This week we are talking about endings and how to do them well. Hopefully you've found some that you want to share with us this week. I think the best way to do it is for you to email me the title of the book and why the ending worked for you. Don't worry about spoilers too much, be honest and detailed with what worked for you. (unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com with Endings in the subject line)

Today I want to talk about what NOT to do. Please don't stone me when I'm done.

Tolkien managed to get away with something we will never be allowed to do. Ever.

He wrote 100 more pages of story after the climax of The Return of the King.

Stay with me a minute. The ring is destroyed on page 250 of my paperback copy. Sam and Frodo are reunited with all their friends on page 255. Said friends have just finished a mighty battle a page before that sees the orcs running away.

At this point, all the tension has been released. There is nothing else for us to worry about. Not really. However Tolkien spends another 92 pages getting our heroes back home, cleaning up said home from the riff raff that's taken over, and then getting the elves, Bilbo, and Frodo on the boats to the west.

Now, I LOVE Tolkien and The Lord of the Rings, but as a writer today, I don't have the luxury of spending 90 some odd pages to tie up all the threads and bring the story to a complete end. I wish I could. It's in my head, but the reader gets bored once the conflict is over. I admit I got a little bored after the war was over myself.

The moral here is:

If you are J.R.R. Tolkien, you can do whatever you want.

But you are NOT Tolkien.

And neither am I.

Normal folks like us would need to end the story by page 260.

Thoughts? Am I completely off my rocker?

The Right Place to Start and End

If you've spent any amount of time on writing blogs, you've heard how important it is to START in the right place in your story. Volumes of books and blogs have been written on the subject. Finding that place can drive you bonkers. I know I rewrote the beginning of Sendek: The Magic Wakes at least 100 times.

In the process I moved around scenes, cut entire scenes, wrote new scenes--all in the hopes of finally crafting a first chapter that would make the reader fall in love with my MC and her plight.

Now that I have an editor helping me polish this book, I've come to realize another important point. Where you end, or how quickly you end after the big climax is also important. I did rework the ending a couple of times. Maybe three? Yeah, not nearly as many times as the beginning.

I knew the ending was taking too long, but I had these loose ends to tie up. And I needed to plant the seeds for the next book in the series. Before signing with WiDo, I cut almost 4000 words from the end. If you're not cringing you should be (that's about 14 pages). I finally decided to cut the last chapter in its entirety and it is now one of the first two chapters of Orek: The Search for Knowledge.

Even with that much streamlining I have too many pages after my conflict is resolved. In the words of my wonderful editor, "After ___(spoilers)___, I'm no longer invested."

Ouch.

But completely true.

Here's my questions for you:

1. What makes an ending satisfying for you?
2. Do you have a different criteria for the ending of a first book in a series? (what and why?)

Over the next few days I want to take a look at endings that WORKED. Feel free to send me your favorites at unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com.

How to Commit Manuscript Manslaughter

Follow these simple steps to Crash & Burn.

Asleep at the Wheel. Start your novel with loads of information, precise and intricate. Spare no words to get your backstory laid out. I’ll turn to the back of my tissue box for something better to read.

Yapping. Dialogue that spins into boredom. I call it, ‘Hi-how-are-you-I’m-fine’, inane conversation between characters that gives no information. Reading ‘where do you want to eat?’ ‘I don’t care. Where do you want to eat?’ makes me want to open a vein.

An abundance of names. Too many titles, characters, unfamiliar or techno names cause me to skip ahead to something ANYTHING interesting. Don’t make me work too hard. Introduce these people and definitions sloooowly. Remember, I don’t know them. You do. Big difference.

Slow build to Action. How is too little conflict in a book like a baseball hit over the fence? Answer: I’m outta here. Those first pages are a fine balance between simple nouns and verbs, sparing use of adjectives and adverbs, and lots of conflict. Whether verbal or physical, there should be conflict on every page.

Abrupt World-Building. To commit Manuscript Mayhem, carry me from Auntie Em’s front yard to Technicolor Oz without transition or bridge. Every fantastical event needs a whiff of the unusual so the brain can adjust. Hence, the tornado and dream sequence. And the witch flying through the air. Always scared hell outta me as a kid.

The Kryptonite Factor. Phenomenal cosmic powers without the itty bitty living space (Genie – Aladdin) kills a MS. One word: Conflict. An all-powerful hero who has no faults or weaknesses equals blah. Epic Fail.

Got a bone to pick? Nails-across-a-blackboard sentence structure that causes wandering eye? 

Query Smack Down

Queries need some lovin’ just like everything else.

Aimee Salter posted my query for review on her blog.

Here’s your chance for payback.

What About Blogfests?

Bloghops infest thrive in our blogosphere. We sign up via Linky tools, wait for the day and post according to the theme du jour.

Then visit other blogs. Follow. Comment.

Of what value are they?

Blogfests increase traffic, viewership, and expands our knowledge. Some of my best buds came about in this way.

It’s a chance to do a meet ‘n greet with our fellow ‘net cruisers. In my case preferably writers.

But is it worth it?

I want to post articles that are of interest to our followers. I want to provide a service. But I also want to keep on track with my original goal; 

Writing.

So, why participate in bloghops/fests?

At this time, I am of two minds. The events are fun and whimsical. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy them and meeting new people. But it can be downright taxing. 


I am still recovering from the April 2012 A to Z Challenge.

Cutting to the chase, when I did A to Z, I quit writing. My word count for the entire month of April went to 500 words. Not day, not a week, but my total for the Whole Month.

It blew my previous writing schedule into tiny bits of wind-blown confetti.

My posts were simple for the blogfest. I almost felt guilty as I composed them since most of them were fewer than 80 words. But visiting other blogs, commenting, checking out my best friends and followers, reading their posts, and cheering them on, it all took time that I did not have.

Did I say that I quit writing? Stopped. Abandoned. Deserted.

It's difficult to get back into my routine. Only now is it returning to the way it was. I have my notes and research and will eventually climb back onto that snorty horse. But, dang, will I do another blogfest soon?

*negative*

I feel as though I’ve lost something very important. 

Finding it again means remembering exactly why I wanted it in the first place.

What about you? Was A to Z a problem for you also? 

An Author’s Downfall

I have favorite authors, people who could write on a used tissue and I’d be interested in what they had to say. Their books need no reviews to sell me. I'd buy their novels without reading the page cover.

And when those books are laid out in a series of familiar characters, well now, boy howdy, out of my way cuz I’m first in line to lay down cash. That makes it easier, knowing what they write, knowing that I’ll love what they write.

Jim Butcher is one of those authors. His series, The Dresden Files and The Furies of Calderon are just the kind of meat-and-potatoes type fantasy that I love. 

Patricia Briggs’ Mercy Thompson series, beginning with Moon Called, is my gold standard of urban fantasy.

Patrick Rothfuss has written only two books with the third and final of his Kingkiller Chronicles due out next year.  I’ll be knocking people over to get to that one. The Sookie Stackhouse series belongs to Charlaine Harris, another series that never disappoints.

Recently Julie Kagawa caught my attention. The Immortal Rules pulled me into her world with The Iron Fey as a side trip.

These authors give me what I want. Entertainment, good writing, plausible storylines. Well, as plausible as fantasy can get.

They write. And I buy anything and everything they care to give me.

That said there is another kind of author who makes me scream like Vincent Grey in The Sixth Sense, YOU FAILED ME.

Yeah I know, like they care. But still…

Two of those authors, who I won’t name, angered me beyond the capacity for rational thought. One lady’s ending made no sense. Throughout the series, the MC verbally slapped everyone who lied to her. Then, at the end, told the biggest whooper ever. It made me so mad I wanted to throw my Kindle across the room. Grrr.

Then another author, who thrilled me last year with three ExCellent books, totally let me down when he journeyed into PreachyTown. And not just one or two pages, but every Freaking Chapter. Blah, blah, blah.

What a cryin’ shame! I find a great story and the author slithers into the folder labeled Shrug.

A book that doesn’t end exactly as I expect doesn’t fall into this category. One example is the ending to The Hunger Games. Good book. Not what I expected at the end but still superb.

No, what I’m talking/ranting about is an author who lectures or moralizes. Sometimes it seems to me as if the author is tired of the character and writes ‘The End’ to break off their relationship.

Beats me.

Are you disappointed with some authors who once held the mantle of Beloved? Will you buy their next book or give them another chance?

How to Query

Or Falling Down Stairs, a step-by-step analysis.

My education began after I wrote FanFic for The Twilight Saga website. It was my first manuscript, about 20K word count, and detailed Edward’s evolution into the ‘man’ he is today. 
Other short stories followed. 

I got some good reviews and thought, well hell, I can do this, I can write. And so my novel was born. It was a story that had rattled around in my head for nearly twenty years. I researched this business of writing and the journey really started.  


Destination, Published Author.

In the Beginning…oh, rats, that phrase is in use, isn’t it. Well, never mind.

At first, I didn’t call myself a ‘writer’. Way too presumptuous. Besides, I had to learn what a ‘published author’ meant. And how to spell ‘author’ *authur*

But set that aside for now

I wrote the manuscript. “Cool. Now I'll find an agent and get the book published.”

But where do I find an agent? Ah, a Search Engine.

And so I Googled my ever lovin’ heart out. Literary agents. Contracts. Submissions. Format. 

Piece of cake.

ohwait. Format?! What’s a ‘format’? *shrug*

Phbttt!! I cleverly figured out a query. It meant some kind of letter explaining why my book was so great. 

Now to find a website with an address. Ah. Writers House and a sub-agent who accepts email. I’ll bet she’s desperate for a good novel.

('Novel'. Not 'fiction novel'. Remember that very important fact)

Sent it off and waited. Checked my email fifty times a day. Anticipation grew as I imaged my book on a separate shelf at Borders.

The agent replied within a few days. My heart thumped as I opened the email.

Rejection? What! How can this be?

She must be a dried up old hag with no sense of quality. BAH! I’ll give my query to someone who appreciates my talent.

*send*

Rejection slip within the hour. Well, I just KNOW they didn’t even read it.

I sent five queries in a week but no one fell at my feet. The next week, BAM, a request for a more pages and a synopsis.

I. Am. On. My. Way. Yeah!!!

er…what’s a synopsis?

More education. More writing and research. A ‘partial’? A ‘full’? wow, more terms to learn.

I hit 'send'. Three days later, the partial was rejected.

I picked myself up, shrugged off my bruised ego, and began again. After all, I was on my way to Published Author.

Little did I know that 8 months would pass before I received another request for more pages. In that time, I edited and re-wrote my manuscript from title page to ‘the end’. I read every morsel of advice, found contests to enter, and more agencies to research.

Writing. Not as easy as it looks, is it? Like ripping out a piece of your innards, throwing it into a public arena shouting, “Here! Isn’t this wonderful?”

Adverbs, adjective, attributes and Alliterations. Dangling participles, run-on sentences, echoes, and the evil word ‘clunky’. Passive phrases, active phrases, too many verbs/names/action.

I discovered blogging, critique partners, and betas. Writing classes and books about prose. Endless information.

The camaraderie from those I’ve met in this business still amazes me. So many helpers offering time, talent, and expertise. That fact alone humbles me and leaves me silent. 

I went from clueless naiveté to painful rejection and beyond. I learned how to evolve, how to use this skill and become a better person, more focused.

I learned Words, their placement in a sentence. How to give them life, flavor, taste, and essence.

There is richness in this business of coupling verbs and nouns into a mental dance, a fulfillment of spirit. In their cadence, we create music that soars as we read them.

To summarize:

Read, research, educate. 

Never stop learning.

And along the way, at some point, introduce yourself as Writer.

Because that is what you are.

Where has your journey taken you? How did you start this business and what have you found along the way?

Description - Fairy Tail

    And now, you poor things, because no one sent me a description of their own, I give you one of mine. The opening to my novel, FAIRY TAIL. Rip away...    

     It looked like a celebration.

     Elphamé, the heart of Faerie, was awash in fairy light, from sparks that floated above the trees to hundreds of colored lanterns, casting a rainbow ribbon of light over the flowers in the Queen’s garden. The magnolia trees were beginning to shed their blossoms and the grass was littered with soft, white petals that fluttered about in a non-existent breeze, their fragrance perfuming the air. 

     The sisters sat on the grass by the fish pond where dozens of paper boats floated, from three-masted sailing ships with dragonfly sails to row-boats with little oars carved from twigs, each one a miniature masterpiece. 

     Music came from inside, though who played was anyone’s guess, for they were hidden behind the upper screens while below the grand ballroom was hung with wreaths of flowers and ribbons, the whole place smelling of a warm autumn night and filled to capacity with all of Faerie.

Description - a critique

I looked straight down onto a small barn and its yard, snugged between the castle and its wall. The pigs in the sty were mere lumps in their mud. Beyond the wall, the western side of Wodenberg clung to the steeper part of the mountain’s slope in a jumble of thatched roofs. It wasn’t far to the city wall, on this side of the castle. 
I don't think you need that last bit - but note my opinion is based on just this short excerpt. You know best.

On my left, southward, the city spread out. North and ward, to the right, a saddle of rock connected the castle’s promontory to Mount Woden. That saddle was called the Rückenstein, and it was full of barracks for the city garrison. The city wall looped around it, studded with towers, guarding to guard Castle Kaltkern’s back., and oOutside the wall the terrain ran rough and bare. Too thin for trees or farming. Some sheep dotted what grass there was.
Here's where I'd try to throw in some action, something to break up the description - unless this work is intended for an adult audience in which case they will probably have more patience. And since we have a first person narrator, it might be interesting to her his/her thoughts about what is being described. As it is the description sounds like a distant third.

Mount Woden, outside the city and its foulburg, was a wild thing under a deep pine blanket. The forest gave way to fields where the slope gentled out to the north and west, and tThose muddy brown fields were covered now with a layer of dingy white tents and a haze of campfire smoke. The tents seemed to run for miles.

This is a good descriptive passage. I got a picture in my mind of this place; a little rugged, poor, but with a substantial castle, a garrison, and all these white tents on a muddy field (hmm). The only thing I'll reiterate is that I'd like more voice associated with the description, especially since this is first person pov. Is this the first time the narrator has come to Wodenberg? What does he/ she think about the place? Adding more voice could easily turn good into great. 

What do you guys think? 

And thank you L. Blankenship for this submission!

Description - The Dome

"From two-thousand feet, where Claudette Saunders was taking a flying lesson, the town of Chester's Mill gleamed in the morning light like something freshly made and just set down. Cars trundled along Main Street, flashing up winks of sun. The steeple of the Congo Church looked sharp enough to pierce the unblemished sky. The sun raced along the surface of the Prestile Stream as the Seneca V overflew it, both plane and water cutting the  town on the same diagonal course."

I love the comparison of the town to something gleaming and "freshly made" and how the first sentence immediately suggests to me that our narrator may be hinting at something... interesting. Either the town is indeed like something "freshly made and just set down," or, it is not. And really, where do cars trundle? Probably ONLY in Chester Mills. Some mythical small town in some northwest corner of  Maine - my fair state.

It also happens to be the home state of the author, Stephen King, and this first paragraph is from his novel, THE DOME. If you like Stephen King I'll wager you'll like this. Both as a writer and and a reader.

Description - first page

"From two-thousand feet, where Claudette Saunders was taking a flying lesson, the town of Chester's Mill gleamed in the morning light like something freshly made and just set down. Cars trundled along Main Street, flashing up winks of sun. The steeple of the Congo Church looked sharp enough to pierce the unblemished sky. The sun raced along the surface of the Prestile Stream as the Seneca V overflew it, both plane and water cutting the  town on the same diagonal course."


Here is a short descriptive passage written by someone who shall, for the moment, remain nameless. What I would like you all to do is read it a few times and tell me what you think. What do you like about this? What sense about the story do you get from this beginning? And if you do know who wrote this, keep it to yourself for the moment. I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts on this paragraph before I reveal the author.

I have a few thoughts about it but I'd like to hear what you think first.

Oh, and I'm still open to critiquing anyone's descriptive paragraph/bit or if you have one you're proud of send it to me and I'll post it.

the boring bits and what to do with them

I have read upon more than one occasion that the best way to keep your readers interested is to leave out the boring bits. Usually this means description because it’s the one place where nothing is happening. Dialogue and action move the story forward but description is like a rest area where you’re supposed to enjoy the scenery. So the question becomes how do we make our descriptive passages interesting, because it goes without saying we can’t just do away with description altogether.

Let’s look at an example.

“Alone in his flat, Marco constructs tiny rooms from scraps of paper. Hallways and doors crafted from pages of books and bits of blueprint, pieces of wallpaper and fragments of letters.

He composes chambers that lead into others that Celia has created. Stairs that wind around her halls.”

From THE NIGHT CIRCUS by Erin Morgenstern

This is a description of what Marco makes and while it might not make as much sense to those who haven’t read the book (which I highly recommend, by the way) you can still see how lovely it is, hear the cadence of the words, perhaps even picture what Marco is making.

The trick then is making our descriptions come alive with voice. I don’t know about you but I can hear the longing in that short little passage and I get the feeling we’re talking about more than architecture. This is how to make your descriptions stand out, be memorable, and above all, be interesting.

Now it’s your turn. Think you have a short descriptive passage worthy of showing off? Something you’re proud of having written? If so we’d love for you to share it in the comments. Or maybe you have one you’d like help making sparkle. In that case send it to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com and I’ll critique it on Tuesday. 500 words or less, please and thank you in advance for your submissions. Remember, critiquing helps all of us :) 

Quick Friday Question

I was perusing the Kindle Store the other day and came to discover a book called "Snooki in Wonderland." Yikes. That same day, I read about an author who was asked to remake a certain story from back in the 80's or something, the name of which escapes me at present. With all this talk about remakes, how would you as an author feel about someone asking you to rewrite a classic like Alice in Wonderland? Would you do it? Why or why not?

For me, the answer is simple. I'm just going to write my own stuff. I want to be as original as I can possibly be. Tried and true formulas may work for some people, but not for me. How do you feel about this? Would you ever spend a part of your writing career remolding someone else's vision?

Five Things That Got Me to Today

Today, I’m going to take a little bit of a different approach with my week. I’ll do another prompt or something tomorrow, but right now I’ve got something else I’d like to discuss. If you’ve been following my posts over at World of the Scribe, you’ll know that I’ve been hitting many milestones. One of these is having sold my 40^th copy of my debut fantasy novel, Spell of Entrapment. I can’t believe the number has gotten that high already.

A lot of you out there are aspiring authors and writers in the making, possibly wondering how someone ever gets to selling 40 books in about 2 and a half months time. I’ll walk you through the five things that got me to where I am today.

#1. The Writing itself. I’d never have sold 40 books if I wasn’t already so passionate about the written word. Writing has been in my blood since the days of elementary school. It’s not something I can just turn my back on at a moment’s notice. I’m almost always constantly writing a story, or thinking of a story. I do whatever I can to make sure that I make the time for writing.

#2-Study The Craft. It’s not just enough to write. You have to study the ins and outs of the craft, both in the writing field and in the publishing field. There are so many tricks to the trade you’ll want to at least familiarize with. You don’t have to do everything people tell you to do, because then where would that leave you with the rest of your life? We’re each and every one of us busy people. Take only what you need.

#3- Understand Your Limits. This builds more on what #2 has established. There are only so many hours in a day. We have to be ready to deal with the limits time and life impose upon us. Why, I have far fewer hours in the day than I used to, mainly because I have a day job and family responsibilities. That’s why whenever I do get a moment, I take full advantage of it. I won’t get to write all the stories I want to write, but I’ll make sure to write as many as I can, and enjoy the ride from there.

#4-Moral Support. Our friends and families may support our writing endeavors to an extent. Yet as we writers have our own set of limitations, so do our loved ones. They may be on board with our writing, but they may not understand our passion, or why we just can’t give it up. Then again, maybe they think we could be doing something better with our time, something like household chores or taking on a second or even a third job. We need our moral support to keep us going. For that, we’ll have to turn to other writing friends.

#5-Perseverance. Lastly, I never gave up, even in spite of all the adversity. I kept going until I reached that 40^th sale. And I’ll keep going until my dying breath. That’s how committed I am to writing, and that’s what it has taken to get me to these sales. May all of you out there realize your publishing dreams, too.

Just Desserts

Lately I've been a slave to my sweet tooth. Over at my blog, World of the Scribe, I've had chocolate cake on the mind. And today I'll be discussing the matter of ice cream, too. I don't think it's exactly fair that my muse can have all the sugar she wants and not suffer the dire consequences for it. Then again, there are no calories in merely eyeing candy, are there?

So for today's prompt challenge, I want to see your culinary creations of the sugary variety. Write a few sentences describing the sweets your characters are dealing with. Bonus Kudos points for anyone who can get their characters to start a food fight, or who can get me to salivate.

May Day Shares

Jeffrey here, back for another week here at Unicorn Bell. Thanks for covering for me yesterday, I was out tending to a paragraph that required all of my attention. I almost had to take it to the ER (that's Emergency Revision here, just so you know), but things worked out at the last minute.

Moving into new business, it being a new month and all, May Day has arrived. For the purposes of today's post, I will take the general notion of sharing on May Day and turn it into something applicable here. I want you to share your favorite prose or poetry that you've written and share it with us. Bonus kudos points go out to anyone who can incorporate some element of springtime into what they share with us.

Here's my entry, a haiku that won me a gift card a couple of years back:

Hunger fuels my rage
Waiting by the order box
They'll be right with me.


As you can see, there's a bit of an edge to this piece, but I'm really proud of it because of the emotion it evokes. So no, the pieces you share today don't have to be sunny. The only absolute qualifier is that you're proud of whatever work you post.


Back tomorrow!