Here is the final page of Shella's first chapter...
The rest of the
meeting went as normal. We covered procedures, schedules, mandatory classes
that we would have to take. All the boring stuff that needed to get said.
To end the
meeting, Mr. Stock said, “One last thing and you can all get out of here, if
anyone wants some volunteer help in their class this year, please let me know.
OK everyone, enjoy the rest of your day.”
Everyone quickly
got up and formed into their groups. Me, I was solo. Even Deven and Juliet got
up and walked off together. I returned the wheel to the hamster and whispered
to him an apology for taking it away. Then I picked up my binder and hamster
and thought about the personal goal requirement and wondered where my life was
going. At the moment nowhere. It was boring. Not mine. My mind was not liking
where my thoughts were going and turned it's on switch off.
***
My thoughts: Okay, I'm a little disappointed by the fact that nothing much happened in this chapter except that we met and got to know our narrator. Most first chapters need to have something happen in order to catch the attention of readers/agents/editors. Notice that I say most. Depending upon where this is going, this first chapter might work perfectly. But maybe there's a way to convey the character information that's here in a better way. Also notice that I said a little disappointed, because I really enjoyed trying to understand the narrator and where she was coming from. I think I know but I need to read more in order to confirm and thus the author succeeded - in getting me to want to read more to find out what happens next.
A huge thanks to Shellah for submitting and readers, I hope you'll add your comments :)
Happy Friday!!!
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