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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Submission #5--Faerie Wings

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Title: Faerie Wings
Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy

This year I will stand in front of the Abhithian High Council and marry a human girl. It's my duty as heir to the throne during the year of Reparation. I only have six months left to find my Anam Cara, my soul mate, among the humans. Otherwise I will marry a human girl of my parent's choosing.

I leaned my elbows on the balcony wall and watched the colors in the garden dance in the sunlight. Reds, blues, yellows, and greens jumped from flower to flower, mingling, changing. More than anything else, this is what I missed the most when living on the human side. Their ignorance and disbelief kept the colors glued to one spot. How mundane.

"Carter?" Mother joined me. "Are you home to stay?"Almost four hundred years old, Mother's dark hair had started to streak with gray, but her skin remained flawless. She leaned against the wall and watched me with steel grey eyes.

"Not yet. I'm going back to the human side tomorrow."

"Son, you have to stop this. You're out of time. When you become king you must take a human bride, Anam Cara or not." She rested her hand on my shoulder. "It's very rare, you know that. Just pick a human girl. There's enough time to convince her to marry you."

Hummingbirds zipped through the air. For most of my kind, the one hundred and twenty-fifth birthday wasn't a big deal, but for me it fell during the year of Reparation. It signified the beginning, or the end.

"Let me have two more months."


"Everyone else gets more time."

She sighed and her shoulders drooped, but she smiled up at me. "You have until Sedonia's wedding. That's your two months. In the meantime start dating one of the girls from the possible candidates."


"Oh, before you leave, take some time to visit the Garden. The Oracles may have a message from the council for you."

"What else could they have to tell me? My whole life has been in preparation to fulfill this duty."

"Shh, it's an honor they speak to you so frequently. Only kings of the Reparation get such
attention. They want you to succeed. Trust in that."

"Taking a human bride is pointless. They will never reach our level of understanding. Why do we have to continually be punished for the mistakes of the ancients?"

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Huntress said...

Awesome first paragraph. I liked this because backstory is blended so well with the storyline. It moves. It flows.

Amber said...

I really liked this. Just enough to leave me wondering, and wanting to know more. There was a good hook. I did think it was a little feminine to notice the flowers and colors (are you a female?) I'm a female who writes male pov, so that would be my only comment is to make sure you watch out for 'feminine' and 'masculine' phrases. (Unless he is meant to be seen as a more 'sensitive type) but I would def. turn the page :)

Alicia Willette-Cook said...

I really enjoyed this. A whole lot of information is there, yet I don't feel overwhelmed. The world building that happens in 400 words is very subtle yet strong. Love it. Would def. read on!