I couldn’t believe she showed up drunk or high or hung over or was here at all. Whatever she was (what was she? This doesn’t make sense to me) she had sniffled and wailed through the entire service, continuously running her hand under her nose to wipe up a stream of snot. Static had her dress bunched up around her knees and her hair was askew even though I could tell she had tried to do something with it. What was worse was her current boyfriend, and I use that word loosely, came. (As written this sentence strikes me as awkward. Maybe just cut the word 'came', since if she's seeing him, he's obviously there.) She hated my grandmother and now she had the audacity to cry at her funeral.
I hated my mom. Wow, strong statement.
Quill put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me under his oversized umbrella. I didn’t cry. I loved grams but I’d ran out of tears years ago. I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried but I was sure it was connected to my. Connected to my…?
I wouldn’t give her my tears again. Give who tears? Grandma or the hated mother?
“Ren would you like to say anything?” asked the pastor.
I looked over in his direction, my eyes taking a moment to focus. Quill nudged me with his shoulder. I might reverse the order of these two sentences.I shook my head. “No. Thank you.”
My thoughts: I don't know this mc very well yet but in this first page I've learned two things for sure; she loved her grandmother and she's got some serious mom issues. Is this what the story will be about? Her resolving that relationship and becoming less bitter, finding love? And who's Quill? A relative, bf? This is a very emotional beginning.