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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

#1

Due to much begging and pleading, the author of Dear Katherine has submitted her tagline and blurb.

My comments are in red.
Tagline:
If only falling in love was as easy as falling off a planet.

OutFreakin’Standing. This tells me the story is about romance, conflict, and sci-fi. Good job! The term "falling off a planet" grabs my eye immediately.

Blurb:
After years falling on and off any planet she chose, Katherine can't imagine settling on a single one. But love's pull is stronger than gravity and it threatens to bind her to a place she's not prepared to call home. The price of freedom is another person's caged life--Katherine just needs to choose who.

A big Wow until the last line. It stopped me completely and I’m still not sure I understand. The price the MC pays for freedom might be judged as a cage to another?

Can you say this better? Since I don’t know the story, the following is a simplistic example:
To some, freedom is another word for cage. For Katherine, if she chooses poorly, the cage is all too real. 

What do you think followers?

3 comments:

Liza said...

Love the tagline. As for the blurb, I got stuck at the last line. The wording is kind of awkward. I think I get that her freedom comes at another persons' expense though not knowing the story makes it hard. I'm not even sure Katherine is somehow caged herself...but if so, what about...But freedom comes with a price. In order to be released from her own cage, Katherine must make an excruciating decision, and select the person who will take her place.

mshatch said...

Great tag line but yes, the blurb is a little vague. I always think of the blurb as what's on the back of the book or in the cover, telling me who the main characters are and what the book is about without giving anything away.

Patchi said...

Not bad for a five-minute blurb ;)

How about:

Regaining her freedom means confining either father or child--Katherine just needs to choose who she can live without.

Not sure it's quite there yet. But I guess I don't need to stress too much until the novel is finished.