How to Recognize Newbie Writing Mistakes...and fix them

Well the whole family is back from vacation and school started this week. It’s a new day for everyone. For me, it’s a new day of no more quiet days and getting the sleep I need. And needing a vacation after my vacation.

For my sons, it’s a new school year and my youngest is entering Kindergarten! Uh-oh, faculty watch out. Fathers, hold on to your daughters. The Wilks brothers are in the house!

I’ll be on pins and needles all week. Not too worried about my eldest because this isn’t his first rodeo. Although sometimes I wonder if it is with how forgetful he can be of the school and class rules. And from what’s right and wrong. Or is it because he’s hardheaded. Sigh.

Anyways, it’ll be a whole new world for my youngest. Learning and following the school and class rules. Sitting still. Though he’s the youngest, he has more common sense than his older brother, smh. But still, can’t help but wonder and worry. This will be all new to him.

He’s a newbie.

But we’re all newbies at one time or another. And the great thing about being a newbie is that you don’t remain one for long. Plus newbie or not, you’re always going to make a mistake and learn from it. When I first started writing again I made some newbie writing mistakes I thought I knew better not to do. So what did I do?

I learned from my mistakes, absorbed and applied writing tips and techniques to hone my craft. Am I a perfect writer now? No. My goal is not to be a perfect writer but a writer whose works can touch and entertain readers.

Do I still make writing mistakes? Oh, hell yes. And in this post, I’m sharing insights and tools that have helped me correct them.:

Info dumping

When I first started writing again I was a huge info dumper. Most if not all my backstory ended up in the story. Especially in the beginning. Which pretty much meant I had no hook and my story really started on the next page. So how did I fix it? Well I thought of it this way. Writing is a relationship between the author and the reader. It’s like a date. And nothing ruins a date more than going on and on about unnecessary things. Like the number of times you chewed your food that morning. Simply, there’s no reason to give everything away. It’s all about the pacing and the excitement in getting to know you. So let your readers get to know the story. Space and pace your clues. And let them enjoy trying to figure out the wonder of the world you're building by what you did leave out.

Tense

I’m always mixing tenses but I recently came upon a tip to help fix that. And that is to write your draft in the first person and present tense. When it’s time to rewrite, revise and edit then you change it in the tense you want it. Be it third person limited and simple past. Second person or you can decide the story flows better in first person and keep it as is.

Word usage

Five words. Thank god for the thesaurus. Writing isn’t as easy as it looks but those bestseller authors does make it look easy, don’t they? How are they capable of writing 90,000 and more words? How is it that they have no trouble not repeating and overusing words like ‘look,’ ‘said,’ and or ‘walk’? With a handy thesaurus by your side ‘look’ is replaced by ‘gaze’ or ‘gaze longingly.’ Instead of ‘said’ you can use ‘bragged’ or ‘chatted.’ Another word(s) for ‘walk’ are ‘stomp,’ ‘shuffle,’ and or ‘amble.’ Use a word cloud generator to find your most repeated words. And hunt through the thesaurus for a better word usage.

Keeping it hidden

I know it’s scary but sharing your writing and not keeping it hidden will get you out of the newbie writer zone. Put your writing out there, get feedback and critiques. The constructive criticism you’ll receive will help improve your writing. Plus, you’ll get to befriend other writers.  You should also try entering contests and submitting to anthologies. You’ll never know, your writing might be accepted for publication. Which would also lead to you gaining readers and fans of your writing.

What mistakes did you make when you first started writing?

No info dumping on my reading

So the big thing that stood out from today's critique for me was the use of back-story in the opening scene of the manuscript.

As the author said:

"In it you'll see an area where I've explained the protagonist's background. Some people don't like it there, others say they wouldn't have liked the protagonist if it wasn't there. I'd love to know which way you feel."

I think it's a concern that's prevalent with authors of dubious or otherwise unlikable characters. So they dump a ton of sympathetic back-story right from the start, because really they just want the readers to like the characters as much as they do. 

Thing is though.... an info dump probably won't make people like your character. In fact, odds are that if the info dump takes place in the middle of something interesting (say a murder/theft/hit, since we're in dubious character mode) the reader will just skip until they get back to the interesting stuff. 

Or... well... they could stop reading if the info dump is done so clumsily that it stands out like an eye-sore. As they usually do. Best case, that's all they do. Worst case, they break the suspension of disbelief you've just established. So where would it leave your story then? 

Nope. Back-story dumps just aren't worth it. 

So what if the readers don't like the protagonists? you might ask.

Well... here's a bit of a shocking thing to know: Protagonists don't have to be all that likable. They only have to be interesting to be liked. Which means that if you start with the character doing something interesting (maybe adding a few sympathetic hints here and there) and keeping info dumps out of the opening, you're set for long enough to start bringing out the sympathetic aspects to the character. 

But I repeat, info dumps won't let you do this. 

Trust yourself, writer. If you know you have an awesome character, trust that you can keep the interest going long enough to make the character liked. I've done it for entire books without explaining the character's motivations, so I can tell you it's possible. 

And you know the best part about not info dumping all over my dubious character? He might not be likable, but he sure as hell is memorable. 

Finding the Info Dump

At the end of chapter three of my first novel, Elswyk's Moon, I have my main character and her best (and only) friend having lunch together. The primary reason for the scene is so that the friend can tell Elswyk at length about how much she hates another character who is yet to be introduced.

"Oh, where to begin? He’s condescending. He always seems like he’s laughing at you, unless of course you are a nubile young thing, and then he’s probably flirting with that obnoxious charm of his,” she explained.

And the friend goes on about this. For 782 words.

On the one hand, I do want to introduce this character. He shows up in chapter seven, and he plays a major role in the rest of the story. His relationship to Elswyk's friend becomes very important towards the lead up to the climax.

But, we haven’t met the guy yet. And we will. His relationship to Elswyk's friend is readily apparent the minute he shows up.

The whole section reads like an info dump, probably because it is.

At the time, I thought that it would be better to mention this character early so that his arrival wouldn't come out of nowhere. Now I see the mistake. Sure, I can mention the character’s name. As he’s connected to several of the other characters, his name will naturally come up. My mistake was drawing too much attention to him before his entrance.

This means that entire lunch scene can be cut. That’s no major loss. It was a stupid scene anyway.

How do you subtly introduce a character who will become a major player later in the story?

How to Commit Manuscript Manslaughter

Follow these simple steps to Crash & Burn.

Asleep at the Wheel. Start your novel with loads of information, precise and intricate. Spare no words to get your backstory laid out. I’ll turn to the back of my tissue box for something better to read.

Yapping. Dialogue that spins into boredom. I call it, ‘Hi-how-are-you-I’m-fine’, inane conversation between characters that gives no information. Reading ‘where do you want to eat?’ ‘I don’t care. Where do you want to eat?’ makes me want to open a vein.

An abundance of names. Too many titles, characters, unfamiliar or techno names cause me to skip ahead to something ANYTHING interesting. Don’t make me work too hard. Introduce these people and definitions sloooowly. Remember, I don’t know them. You do. Big difference.

Slow build to Action. How is too little conflict in a book like a baseball hit over the fence? Answer: I’m outta here. Those first pages are a fine balance between simple nouns and verbs, sparing use of adjectives and adverbs, and lots of conflict. Whether verbal or physical, there should be conflict on every page.

Abrupt World-Building. To commit Manuscript Mayhem, carry me from Auntie Em’s front yard to Technicolor Oz without transition or bridge. Every fantastical event needs a whiff of the unusual so the brain can adjust. Hence, the tornado and dream sequence. And the witch flying through the air. Always scared hell outta me as a kid.

The Kryptonite Factor. Phenomenal cosmic powers without the itty bitty living space (Genie – Aladdin) kills a MS. One word: Conflict. An all-powerful hero who has no faults or weaknesses equals blah. Epic Fail.

Got a bone to pick? Nails-across-a-blackboard sentence structure that causes wandering eye? 

Stuck in the Middle

Greetings Friends!
So glad to be here! Thanks for joining me in my first post at Unicorn Bell. As a fellow writer, but more importantly as a reader and book purchaser, I love a good book! Don’t you? So let’s see how we can make ours better!

The best place to start is at the beginning. We excite the reader with a great hook, maybe an incident or intriguing characters, a problem arises, tension, relationship possibilities… go go go!

Then we have to stop and wait for the elevator. We have reached the tough middle. Hold on while I tell you some background and explain things and here’s an info dump, zzz to the easy listening muzak. We have lost momentum. (think Blues Brothers)

When I’m reading, if the beginning was awesome I might plow through the dull parts to see how it ends. But if I can predict it, I don’t bother since it seems I’ve already read the good parts. Could an agent think this too? Oh no! We don’t want that!

So how do we keep the reader turning pages, anxious to see what’s next?

1. Is it imperative to the story? I love my back story. I know why my characters act the way they do, where they are from, their past training and experiences, but does the reader need this info? Most likely not. If the info has nothing to do with what is happening, cut it.
2. Yes, it is. Fine. Keep it. And here is some advice I'm passing on as to how:
• Spread it around – dole it out in smaller portions, no big long narrations
• Avoid Bob – heard of “as you know, Bob?” this is where a character explains something to another character that they both already know, but the writer wants to tell the reader…don’t do it. This is telling - show it!
• Make it smooth – we may want to tell the reader back story right away, but wait for the opportune moment. Don’t force it. The trick is to sprinkle it into the action so the reader has no idea they are being educated.
3. Keep the engine revved. Most importantly, have enough action between slow spots by adding incidents or surprises. We want to keep the reader on her toes! Vroom, vroom!

Now it's your turn! Got more advice? Share it! And we would love to see some submissions! Do you have a section you think needs a boost? Not sure if your back story is necessary? Send me your stuff! You don’t have to be done with your MS. Just send a 200-300 word sample to me: taratylertalks * at * gmail * dot * com and we’ll see what we can do! (I will post my example, too. I’m a rambler)

Here is some more advice for keeping a reader hooked from Charity. And this just in, Abby wrote a post about putting problems into our story, on purpose!

Write on!
Tara