Follow these simple steps to Crash & Burn.
Asleep
at the Wheel. Start your novel with loads of
information, precise and intricate. Spare no words to get your backstory laid
out. I’ll turn to the back of my tissue box for something better to read.
Yapping.
Dialogue that spins into boredom. I call it, ‘Hi-how-are-you-I’m-fine’, inane conversation
between characters that gives no information. Reading ‘where do you want to eat?’ ‘I don’t care. Where do you want to eat?’ makes me
want to open a vein.
An
abundance of names. Too many titles, characters, unfamiliar
or techno names cause me to skip ahead to something ANYTHING interesting. Don’t
make me work too hard. Introduce these people and definitions sloooowly.
Remember, I don’t know them. You do. Big difference.
Slow
build to Action. How is too little conflict in a book
like a baseball hit over the fence? Answer: I’m outta here. Those first pages
are a fine balance between simple nouns and verbs, sparing use of adjectives
and adverbs, and lots of conflict. Whether verbal or physical, there should be
conflict on every page.
Abrupt
World-Building. To commit Manuscript Mayhem, carry me from
Auntie Em’s front yard to Technicolor Oz without transition or bridge. Every
fantastical event needs a whiff of the unusual so the brain can adjust. Hence,
the tornado and dream sequence. And the witch flying through the air. Always
scared hell outta me as a kid.
The
Kryptonite Factor. Phenomenal
cosmic powers without the itty bitty
living space (Genie – Aladdin) kills a MS. One word: Conflict. An
all-powerful hero who has no faults or weaknesses equals blah. Epic Fail.
Got a bone to pick? Nails-across-a-blackboard sentence structure that causes wandering eye?
