It's my week to host here at Unicorn Bell, so you know what that means: long form crits! Send me up to 1,500 words of anything and I will throw red ink at it. Email unicornbellsubmissions at gmail dot com!
So far, I have one submission from a YA scifi called OPERATION DAFFODIL:
“The number one rule on the theater of operations,” said the Viper to Tag on his first day in the Holding Hall, “is to avoid getting shot in the torso. Here, here, and here.” He tapped three critical areas on Tag’s netskin suit. “Your job isn’t to show how high-thinking you are. You, boy, are to keep your head firmly on your shoulders and not anywhere else.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I am the brain, You and everyone else, even the General of the Army, are my hands. Listen to my words, and you will not go OoC easily.”
And so Tag had, and in his three years serving in VirtuWar, he’d only been out-of-commission once. Such was the nature of the Viper’s advice. The incident that took Tag out hadn’t even involved a connection to one of the three points. Instead, an Asiatic grenade had blasted a boulder at the base, leaving the other half to land on Tag. He had vaporized almost instantaneously, dumped right back in the Holding Hall in his netskin with the Neuroreader hooked to his head displaying his homeostatic functions on the screen. >>Unclear. Blasting a boulder at the base would result in a pile of rubble, I'd expect.
HEART-RATE: 155 bmp.
“The ugliest OoC since VirtuWar’s invention,” fellow private Cavalier told him when the others returned to the Holding. “Can you imagine how you might have looked pre-V? Flat like a pancake, I suppose.”
Vree was unzipping his netskin. He shook free his wavy hair as he lifted the Neuroreader. “A lightyear off, Cav. He’d be a splatter of guts and slivers of bone. Pulverized. A stain in the ground.”
None of them could begin to wrap their heads around the idea of a human being reduced to stain in the ground.
It could be possible, thought Tag, unzipping himself and signing out of the system. There was no cap to the gruesome pre-V. It could be possible.
“Enjoy the time, Tag,” his friend Ran had said, punching him lightly on the shoulder. “We’ll miss you for four months.” >>why's he going to be away for four months?
“Who’s going to watch your back?”
Ran shrugged as if it hadn’t crossed his mind yet. “Cavalier, maybe.”
Tag didn’t mention that Cavalier was no scout. Cavalier was as slick as gunmen came, but he was no back-watcher.
That had been something, going OoC over some fallen boulder. Certainly not something he wanted to repeat.
The Viper had more or less the same thought. Just as Tag was about to step into the rewinder that would erase the last few hours of fighting Asiatic soldiers and deposit him back home, the masked strategist stopped him. >>why would they erase his memory? that makes no sense.
“If I give you A+B=C, boy, then you must learn how to derive A+C.” >>What does this have to do with getting crushed by a boulder? or with Cavalier?
“I’m sorry, sir.”
The painted slits stared at him long and hard. “Go,” the Viper said at last. He pushed the boy into the rewinder tube. “Return a little wiser.”
That had been a year ago. A lot could happen in a year when a war could be won in six months and three thousand people could die in a week. >>if this is a virtual war, why is anybody dying?
Now, Tag crept forward, staying low to the ground. The sun was beaming down on the parched, cracked earth, baking it to a yellow dust that covered the front of his netskin like sulfur. Sweat tickled the nape of his neck, but he dared not to scratch. The Asiatics were like cats. They picked up anything and everything.
In the distance, shots sounded as softly as popping a soda tab.
Tag waited for the shooting to stop. Then he tapped into the Umbilical embedded in his ear.
Status, Cav?
He had barely finished the thought when Cavalier replied.
Clear.
Everyone in the pod heard the word. They waited for the green from their co-commanders.
Green? Tag thought to Forbes.
Green, agreed Forbes
Tag tapped into the entire pod. Now.
With the hardest part of the job done by Cavalier’s crew, all Tag’s division had to do was crawl to the top of the hill. Within minutes, Tag heard the rain of Forbes’ fire from the west rim of the valley. By the time his soldiers reached the north rim, all that was needed of them was to neutralize the twenty Asiatic soldiers that remained from a company of fifty-five.
Easy. The elevation made it impossible for the Asiatics to aim as accurately as Tag knew they were capable of.
Lingo, a decent marksman but far from Cavalier’s level, took down the last one, completing the operation in 5 minutes and 1.19 seconds.
After he’d punched the status and outcome of the mission into his wrist band and sent the results back to HQ, Tag approached Digweed, the only one who had suffered a contact point. “You okay?” he asked, sizing up the flashing red nick on the tip of the boy’s ear.
The thick-set boy lifted his visor and spat into the dust. “Yeah.”
“How much horse-power did you lose?”
“5 HP.” He spat again. “Like missing a chunk of ear would slow me down.”
“You’ll regenerate by the next assignment.”
Forbes came over, cradling his visor under his arm. His white blonde hair was sticking up all funny.
He clapped Digweed on the shoulder. “Tag’s right. 5 HP is nothing.”
The rest of the pod, including Cavalier’s soldiers, had received Tag’s notification of END MISSION and were streaming in all along the rim. They had heard Forbes. Forbes had a great voice—strong, confident, and reassuring. Tag’s voice was just normal in on the other side, which meant it translated just normal in the system. >>so did they come because of the notification, or because of Forbes saying 5HP is nothing?
“So what’s on the roll tonight?” asked Forbes when all the boys had convened.
Technically, they were supposed report right back to the Holding Hall, but neither Forbes nor Tag enforced that much, and the others appreciated the short breath of downtime before being hurtled back into the dull mundaneness of reality.
Cavalier moaned. “Don’t remind me. I have study for molecular bio. Did you know I hate—”
“You hate molecular bio as much as you hate girls that give confusing signals,” Vree finished for him dryly. “Sucks for you, Cav. I’ve got myself a date.”
“What’s she like?” Everyone wanted to know. >>LOL. These are boys, right? They want to know if she's hot, not what she's like.
“Witty, sweet, funny.”
“You’re just describing every semi-decent girl in the universe,” grumbled Cavalier. He to Tag. “What about you?” >>Needs a verb.
“Yeah, what about you, Tag?”
He shrugged. “The usual. School. My sister’s school play is tonight.”
That piped Cavalier’s interest. “Is she hot?” >>there you go. "Piped" is the wrong word... piqued?
Tag felt himself choke.
“Man, Cav,” said Ran, shaking his head. “His sister’s ten.”
“Oh.”
“Well,” said Forbes, placing his visor back over his head. His blue eyes were crinkled beneath the clear glass. “We should sign out now.” >>These (young, high-adrenaline) guys were killing time in virtual reality, where anything's possible, and all they did was chat a bit? Seems unlikely to me.
“Nice, clean work on the missions today,” added Tag.
The two commanders waited until everyone but themselves and their back-watchers—Vree for Forbes and Ran for Tag—had evaporated to nothing in the air.
As Forbes whistled while readying his sign-out, a glint amid the dust of the valley below caught Tag’s eye.
Strange. “I’ll be out in a minute,” he said slowly.
With a wink, Forbes saluted Tag just as his sign-out passed the system. Both he and Vree broke into tiny particles, as the others had, leaving Ran and Tag on the rim.
“What is it?” Ran asked as he approached Tag’s side.
Without words to explain it, Tag felt uneasy. He knew that Ran felt it, too, from the way his friend pulled out his katana from his Inventory. Ran almost hadn’t made the cut for the 61st Battalion because of the sword. It was a wicked looking thing—three feet of curved steel, black from generations upon generations of use—and Randal Juubei had insisted on carrying it with him into the system. It took a month just for the Council to clear it, and another to program it into the database so that its lacerations translated into loss of HP. >>"lacerations" are the wounds it leaves, not what it does. Also, if they honestly felt uneasy why didn't they call for backup? They're part of a military team, not loners.
Now, Ran swiped his katana through the air, following Tag without further question—because something was off, they could feel it—climbing, skidding, grappling down the sides of the valley. To Tag’s dismay, they kicked up a lot of dust, but as soon as the dust settled the glint became all the more clear. >>Does Ran really want to be holding a drawn katana if it's that tricky to climb down the valley?
When his wristband said that they were 14.21 meters away from the object, Tag saw it for what it was; an Outdated. The tip of an M-16. >>how does one spot the camouflaged end of a muzzle from 45 feet away?
All across the battalions, the Asiatics were well-known for their camouflage skills. “Small tricks,” the Viper had told Tag dismissively, and yet it was these small tricks that made them near equals to the United Provinstate soldiers on the theater of operations. It was these small tricks that made it possible for the Asiat to leap up like a sting-ray from the sea-bed that very moment. Caked, yellow dust fell off his netskin in pieces. It rimmed his eyes and mouth in gold.
Ran was fast to leap in front of Tag, but the Asiat was faster to press the trigger.
Being a world-builder, that's what I will jump on first: what you're showing me doesn't add up. If this is a virtual war, so what if a boulder falls on you? Reboot and hop back in. It also seems like a really pointless way to fight a war, unless what you're fighting over is itself virtual. So a big question already is: why are we doing this?
And if Tag, Ran, etc., are in no actual danger, why should the reader be worried about whether they succeed or not? For that matter, what are they doing? Training? Playing a MMORP? Fighting WWIII?
Second thing I'll jump on is character: I haven't really met Tag yet, by the end of this, partly because you throw a lot of names out there and partly because he's not doing anything distinctive. The narrative voice is generic and bland, too, so Tag is coming across as a non-specific guy. Which is not particularly interesting, I'm afraid.
I get the feeling this is the first chunk of your novel? Tell me right off what's at stake, why it's vitally important, and what the cost of failure is. I need to know why I want Tag to succeed. You don't have to explain the entire universe -- it can be as simple as: we need to secure this position or the main servers will go down and if I get shot I'll be laid up with a head-splitting migraine for weeks. And I'm worried that mom's boyfriend is cheating on her. Or something.
Showing posts with label beginnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beginnings. Show all posts
Monday, August 19, 2013
Monday, October 15, 2012
Too Much Back Story In Your Novel?
Confession:
I love back story. I love to read and write it, but these days extensive back story is the kiss of death. Especially in the first chapters.
Today we're going to talk about back story, how it's important, and ways to use it to our advantage.
What is back story?
Everything that happened to your character before the book starts.
Why is it important?
Every author needs to know the character's back story in order to understand what motivates his/her desires and actions. Once we understand these things, we can write reactions that will feel natural and believable to the reader.
The hard pill to swallow is that the reader doesn't care what happened to your hero when he was five. Or that boys asked your female MC out on dares but never showed up for the actual date. None of that matters unless it has a direct impact on the plot and conflict in the current story.
Now, both things mentioned above are complete scenes in my head. I know how Landry felt as the events unfolded around him. What he looked like, how he wanted to cry but didn't, etc. I know how Talia dressed for the date that never happened and how she hid in the forest and cried so her mom wouldn't know. If I wanted, I could write out the scenes in vivid details, but it would completely stop my forward motion in the story and the reader would be thinking, "What the heck?"
How can we use information like that to our advantage?
Those details about my MC's lives give depth and affect how Landry and Talia react to things in the current story. If used correctly, back story can make your characters more human, likeable, believable, and many other things that readers are looking for. It can provide an emotional connection point.
I'm going to share how I used the above back story bits in my novel without going into an info dump.
Ladies first. At one point Talia is shocked to be asked out by a complete stranger. She's quite the recluse in the beginning of the book. Here's her reaction.
Notice it's short--about 110 words total.
In another spot, Landry asks Talia a very personal question. She replies simply.
Those two hints into Talia's past are at least 100 pages apart. No chance of it feeling like an info dump! However, they give a glimpse, and then a reminder as to why it's hard for Talia to trust people and let them into her life.
On to my hero. Landry seems a bit unfeeling at times to those around him, but as is true for most people, he simply keeps his emotions locked deep inside. There's a moment when Talia thinks him the most callous person she's ever met, but their telepathic connection reveals the truth.
This bit is only 80 words long. I included it because Talia needed to see a softer side of Landry. She needed to connect to who he is emotionally before she could let her walls down and learn to trust him.
Now, when I posted this on my blog last month someone asked a very important question.
What about flashbacks?
These are tricky too. If done right they can be the perfect way to get in a bit of back story. However, I think flashbacks are over used as an info dump tool. And more often than not, they are WAY too long.
Perhaps this is the real key to back story in any form--brevity. A line, a paragraph at most here and there is really enough. Even flashbacks can be slipped in so that the reader almost misses that they went back in time.
I don't use any flashbacks in The Magic Wakes, at least not that I can remember, but here is one from Fade Into Me:
(127 words)
When all is said and done, back story IS important, but too much is self indulgent on the author's part. It's not about us. It's only partially about our characters. It's all about the reader.
Title:
Genre:
General area of the book the passage is from:
Why you feel this information is important:
Submission Passage:
I'll post them Tuesday through Wednesday so we can all comment the rest of the week.
Story bits are from my debut novel coming out February 2013.
You can learn more about Talia's story on my author website--charitybradford.com or on Goodreads.
I love back story. I love to read and write it, but these days extensive back story is the kiss of death. Especially in the first chapters.
Today we're going to talk about back story, how it's important, and ways to use it to our advantage.
What is back story?
Everything that happened to your character before the book starts.
Why is it important?
Every author needs to know the character's back story in order to understand what motivates his/her desires and actions. Once we understand these things, we can write reactions that will feel natural and believable to the reader.
The hard pill to swallow is that the reader doesn't care what happened to your hero when he was five. Or that boys asked your female MC out on dares but never showed up for the actual date. None of that matters unless it has a direct impact on the plot and conflict in the current story.
Now, both things mentioned above are complete scenes in my head. I know how Landry felt as the events unfolded around him. What he looked like, how he wanted to cry but didn't, etc. I know how Talia dressed for the date that never happened and how she hid in the forest and cried so her mom wouldn't know. If I wanted, I could write out the scenes in vivid details, but it would completely stop my forward motion in the story and the reader would be thinking, "What the heck?"
How can we use information like that to our advantage?
Those details about my MC's lives give depth and affect how Landry and Talia react to things in the current story. If used correctly, back story can make your characters more human, likeable, believable, and many other things that readers are looking for. It can provide an emotional connection point.
I'm going to share how I used the above back story bits in my novel without going into an info dump.
Ladies first. At one point Talia is shocked to be asked out by a complete stranger. She's quite the recluse in the beginning of the book. Here's her reaction.
"I would love to take you to dinner, Miss Zaryn. Show you around Joharadin."What does this passage tell you about Talia?
Talia's mouth dropped open for the second time that day. She looked him over, wondering if she could bear to give dating another shot. He looked to be about her height, brown eyed and plain in every way except his build. His muscles barely fit in his uniform, giving him a stiff pained look around the shoulders. Her mind drifted to her school days. Ardro Gunik, tall, built, and popular. He asked her out once too. On a dare. The memory still prickled.
"I'm sorry, I can't." She grabbed the pass, and bolted for the security gate.
Notice it's short--about 110 words total.
In another spot, Landry asks Talia a very personal question. She replies simply.
"Guys usually…" The muscle in her jaw clenched. "Well, they kept their distance. I guess I'm not the dating type."
Those two hints into Talia's past are at least 100 pages apart. No chance of it feeling like an info dump! However, they give a glimpse, and then a reminder as to why it's hard for Talia to trust people and let them into her life.
On to my hero. Landry seems a bit unfeeling at times to those around him, but as is true for most people, he simply keeps his emotions locked deep inside. There's a moment when Talia thinks him the most callous person she's ever met, but their telepathic connection reveals the truth.
When did you stop caring about other people's deaths?
The image of a small boy standing on the steps of the palace came to her mind. He watched soldiers carry a man up the stairs on a stretcher. They stopped in front of him and the man reached out a hand as blood bubbled from his mouth. Talia descended to a familiar pain, the sense of complete loss. The scene disappeared as Landry shielded his mind from her once more.
This bit is only 80 words long. I included it because Talia needed to see a softer side of Landry. She needed to connect to who he is emotionally before she could let her walls down and learn to trust him.
Now, when I posted this on my blog last month someone asked a very important question.
What about flashbacks?
These are tricky too. If done right they can be the perfect way to get in a bit of back story. However, I think flashbacks are over used as an info dump tool. And more often than not, they are WAY too long.
Perhaps this is the real key to back story in any form--brevity. A line, a paragraph at most here and there is really enough. Even flashbacks can be slipped in so that the reader almost misses that they went back in time.
I don't use any flashbacks in The Magic Wakes, at least not that I can remember, but here is one from Fade Into Me:
(127 words)
"It's so beautiful." I let go of the cord and stepped carefully to the side for a better view.I think it works because Ry doesn't even realize it IS a flashback. The reader knows, but she doesn't.
Carter took over the heat and we lifted higher. "I knew you would enjoy this."
I gasped and gripped the rim tighter. One moment he stood in the basket wearing his jeans and t-shirt, then everything spun until he stood at the top of a staircase. His hand was held out to me, his clothes suggestive of a renaissance fair complete with a silver circlet around his head. He was the only solid thing in a swirl of moving color.
"What is it Ryanne?" He let go of the cord and pulled me back to the middle of the basket and reality once more. "Are you all right?"
When all is said and done, back story IS important, but too much is self indulgent on the author's part. It's not about us. It's only partially about our characters. It's all about the reader.
Call for submissions!
Send in your passages of back story up to 500 words to unicornbellsubmissions @ gmail.com and we'll try to help you decide how to make it the most effect without slowing your story momentum. Please add the following to your email--Title:
Genre:
General area of the book the passage is from:
Why you feel this information is important:
Submission Passage:
I'll post them Tuesday through Wednesday so we can all comment the rest of the week.
You can learn more about Talia's story on my author website--charitybradford.com or on Goodreads.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Hooking your reader from page one
I am currently reading the book HOOKED by Les Edgerton. Some of you may have read this. Some of you might not have. But I am going to quote from it anyway because even if you know this, it's worth repeating.
"Summary doesn't convince anyone of anything."
Now, go look at you current manuscript and read your first page again - not that you haven't already done so a hundred times before - and determine whether you are telling the read what's going on, or showing. This doesn't mean that you can't have any telling, imo, but I believe that in order for our writing to be effective, there needs to be more showing because "you goal is to evoke an emotional response that hooks the reader, and telling absolutely won't get it. The reader must live through that opening scene with the protagonist."
For example, if you start off your story telling the reader this is your character's first day at a new school and he's lonely and worried about fitting in, it won't mean half as much as if you show your mc walking into that new school. What does it smell like? Look like? Feel like? Is anyone staring? And where the heck is his homeroom? Showing draws the reader into the story, makes him feel like he's right there with your mc and experiencing that day, too. Because that's what keeps us reading, when we feel like we're in the story.
How does your first page stand up to this test? Need some help? Want an opinion or two? If so, send your first page to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com and I'll post the first five I receive and offer my ever so subjective opinion.
"Summary doesn't convince anyone of anything."
Now, go look at you current manuscript and read your first page again - not that you haven't already done so a hundred times before - and determine whether you are telling the read what's going on, or showing. This doesn't mean that you can't have any telling, imo, but I believe that in order for our writing to be effective, there needs to be more showing because "you goal is to evoke an emotional response that hooks the reader, and telling absolutely won't get it. The reader must live through that opening scene with the protagonist."
For example, if you start off your story telling the reader this is your character's first day at a new school and he's lonely and worried about fitting in, it won't mean half as much as if you show your mc walking into that new school. What does it smell like? Look like? Feel like? Is anyone staring? And where the heck is his homeroom? Showing draws the reader into the story, makes him feel like he's right there with your mc and experiencing that day, too. Because that's what keeps us reading, when we feel like we're in the story.
How does your first page stand up to this test? Need some help? Want an opinion or two? If so, send your first page to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com and I'll post the first five I receive and offer my ever so subjective opinion.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Interview with Editor Vicki Keire
 |
| Vicki Keire |
Hello all! You may not know me yet. I'm Sharon Bayliss, the newest contributor to Unicorn Bell. I am so happy to be joining this amazing team of writers! If you can't get enough of me, you can also visit my author's blog. This week I'll be hosting three interviews and two posts on craft. To start things off I would like to welcome a real-live editor! Vicki Keire is an editor at Curiosity Quills Press. She also happens to be a pretty amazing author...more on that at the end.
1) What is the editing process like for a novel at Curiosity Quills? What can a newly signed author expect?
Well, first, a great big welcome! But after that,we have a pre-editing process where the author makes sure his or her manuscript fits as best as possible with our house style guide. Then I like to find out what kind of expectations the author has for the book, because this is a really important element to me. Then I begin the editing process itself and get back to the author; we can repeat this part as many times as necessary, until everyone's happy. Then it goes to proofreading.
2) What are some of the common mistakes you run into when editing manuscripts?
Slow beginnings! Really, your first five pages should grab your reader and pull them right in. It's pretty common for writers to take a slower approach getting started, and by that time, our reader loses interest. Pacing is definitely something to watch out for, especially during the beginning.
3) What grammar/word use rules do you see violated the most?
Oh, comma splices and fragments! Commas are hard, I know. People capitalize improper nouns a lot, too.
4) In addition to be traditionally published, you have also self-published in the past. What editing tips do you have for authors who wish to self-publish?
It really comes down to two things: product, and marketing. You want to make sure you have the best, most polished product possible, especially a great cover. Marketing is mostly about effort, but it's an essential component. Befriend some book bloggers and get to know other authors in your genre- there's a thriving community of self-pubbers out there who are eager to help.
5) How does being an editor impact your writing? Does it make it easier, harder?
Both, actually. It's harder from a time point of view, because it's a job like any other, and I have to really guard my writing time. However, from a craft point of view, editing helps my writing a lot. I catch myself making mistakes and correct them as I'm going. It's also given me the freedom to know that writing is a drafting process, and that it's ok if a draft isn't where I'd like it; I'll have other chances to improve.
6) For people who are new to the series, tell us a little bit about The Chronicles of Nowhere.
Chronicles is about a girl who keeps having nightmares of a world burned to ash, and a strange boy who saves her from creatures that appear to be made of fire. Her parents insist it's just a nightmare, but when the boy shows up as a young man hell-bent on protecting her from those nightmares, she has to face a reality where the worst of two worlds now hunt her. It's mostly urban fantasy with lots of adventure and some romance too.
Vicki, thank you so much for sharing a little bit of your precious time with us. If you have more questions for Vicki, please post them in comments. The third installment in Vicki's Chronicles of Nowhere Series will be released soon, and as a shameless ploy to get you hopelessly addicted, the first two novels are discounted to only 99 cents for a limited time. Here they are!
Well, first, a great big welcome! But after that,we have a pre-editing process where the author makes sure his or her manuscript fits as best as possible with our house style guide. Then I like to find out what kind of expectations the author has for the book, because this is a really important element to me. Then I begin the editing process itself and get back to the author; we can repeat this part as many times as necessary, until everyone's happy. Then it goes to proofreading.
2) What are some of the common mistakes you run into when editing manuscripts?
Slow beginnings! Really, your first five pages should grab your reader and pull them right in. It's pretty common for writers to take a slower approach getting started, and by that time, our reader loses interest. Pacing is definitely something to watch out for, especially during the beginning.
3) What grammar/word use rules do you see violated the most?
Oh, comma splices and fragments! Commas are hard, I know. People capitalize improper nouns a lot, too.
4) In addition to be traditionally published, you have also self-published in the past. What editing tips do you have for authors who wish to self-publish?
It really comes down to two things: product, and marketing. You want to make sure you have the best, most polished product possible, especially a great cover. Marketing is mostly about effort, but it's an essential component. Befriend some book bloggers and get to know other authors in your genre- there's a thriving community of self-pubbers out there who are eager to help.
5) How does being an editor impact your writing? Does it make it easier, harder?
Both, actually. It's harder from a time point of view, because it's a job like any other, and I have to really guard my writing time. However, from a craft point of view, editing helps my writing a lot. I catch myself making mistakes and correct them as I'm going. It's also given me the freedom to know that writing is a drafting process, and that it's ok if a draft isn't where I'd like it; I'll have other chances to improve.
6) For people who are new to the series, tell us a little bit about The Chronicles of Nowhere.
Chronicles is about a girl who keeps having nightmares of a world burned to ash, and a strange boy who saves her from creatures that appear to be made of fire. Her parents insist it's just a nightmare, but when the boy shows up as a young man hell-bent on protecting her from those nightmares, she has to face a reality where the worst of two worlds now hunt her. It's mostly urban fantasy with lots of adventure and some romance too.
Vicki, thank you so much for sharing a little bit of your precious time with us. If you have more questions for Vicki, please post them in comments. The third installment in Vicki's Chronicles of Nowhere Series will be released soon, and as a shameless ploy to get you hopelessly addicted, the first two novels are discounted to only 99 cents for a limited time. Here they are!
Monday, May 21, 2012
The Right Place to Start and End
In the process I moved around scenes, cut entire scenes, wrote new scenes--all in the hopes of finally crafting a first chapter that would make the reader fall in love with my MC and her plight.
Now that I have an editor helping me polish this book, I've come to realize another important point. Where you end, or how quickly you end after the big climax is also important. I did rework the ending a couple of times. Maybe three? Yeah, not nearly as many times as the beginning.
I knew the ending was taking too long, but I had these loose ends to tie up. And I needed to plant the seeds for the next book in the series. Before signing with WiDo, I cut almost 4000 words from the end. If you're not cringing you should be (that's about 14 pages). I finally decided to cut the last chapter in its entirety and it is now one of the first two chapters of Orek: The Search for Knowledge.
Even with that much streamlining I have too many pages after my conflict is resolved. In the words of my wonderful editor, "After ___(spoilers)___, I'm no longer invested."
Ouch.
But completely true.
Here's my questions for you:
1. What makes an ending satisfying for you?
2. Do you have a different criteria for the ending of a first book in a series? (what and why?)
Over the next few days I want to take a look at endings that WORKED. Feel free to send me your favorites at unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com.
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