In the winter of 1805, Arlen Devlin's life takes a decidedly
witchy turn, beginning with the discovery of a grandmother she never knew to an
heirloom book of spells worth killing over. But is it worth dying over?
Although this
is a bit long for a 140-character twitter pitch, it certainly fits as a
logline. An introduction, the genre, conflict and consequence make this stand
out.
I'm stumbling on "beginning... to..."
ReplyDeleteDoes "from the discovery" sound better?
I stumbled on "decidedly witchy" and I've been told agents don't always like ending with a question.
ReplyDeleteWhat about "...to an heirloom book of spells worth killing over but not worth dying over."
...beginning with the discovery of a grandmother she never knew to.. I'm trying to decide if this is even necessary since it seems your hook revolves around the spellbook. If it's important, I suggest cutting it back. For instance, the word "discovery" indicates that she didn't know her before.
ReplyDeleteI like it, although perhaps it could be a touch shorter.
ReplyDeleteI hate it that everything in today's books is about dying or killing. Or at least in American books to be precise.
ReplyDeletewell not *everything*.
DeleteIt is the ultimate conflict yanno.