Some Non-Writers Just Don’t Understand
*Please note: This
doesn’t apply to all non-writers. Just a
select few, and you likely know who the ones in your life are.
If you’re a writer (and most likely, you are. Why else would you be reading this blog?), chances
are you’ve come across some interesting questions, misconceptions, or behavior
from some non-writers. There are a lot
of things some non-writers just don’t get about us. We have a tendency to clear our search
histories because if a non-writer ever saw the things we researched, they might
be inclined to call the local police, or even the FBI. They certainly might be a lot less
comfortable around those of us who have to research murder weapons, ways to
dispose of bodies, and rates of decomposition.
And heaven forbid if you ever start sharing some of the interesting
tidbits of information you dig up during the course of your research. But that’s not the only thing non-writers don’t
get.
Many don’t even understand how the process works. Once I was telling someone about a story I
was working on, and the person asked me how the story ended. Well, I was forced to admit that I didn’t
know yet. They asked me how I couldn’t
know, wasn’t I the one writing the story?
Well, I’m a pantser, not a plotter, so no, I really had no idea how
things were going to turn out. We can
discuss pantsing vs. plotting at another time, but I will say that I’ve never
been a plotter. When I was in creative
writing classes in school, I despised the outline with a purple passion, as we
used to say. My stories NEVER stuck to
the outline, and the few times I tried to force it to stick to the outline, the
story came out lifeless and forced, not very good at all. While I didn’t realize that what I was doing
had a name, I did know that I wrote better when I just sat down and started
writing. Most of the time, my characters
would come to life and started doing whatever they wanted, and let me tell you,
it was wonderful to watch. Disconcerting
sometimes, because sometimes they would do things I didn’t want them to do, or
they would do things that shocked me, but fun nonetheless. But most non-writers don’t understand
that. The scope of their experience with
writing is whatever they learned in creative writing or composition classes in
school, and most of those classes crammed the outline down your throat. They think that’s the process for every
writer. That you sit down, plot out your
story and then write it. Some non-writers
just don’t understand that sometimes you don’t know everything about your story
while you’re writing it.

Along those same lines is the question of “How long is your
story going to be?” or “How many chapters is it going to have?” or “How many
pages will it be?” Uh…I don’t know. The first time I was ever asked that question,
I sort of stared at the person who asked.
I honestly didn’t know how to answer her. Of course, as a writer, I always knew the
story was done when the story was done.
It came to its conclusion on its own, and that was always what determined
the length of the story. I once wrote a
story for the school writing fair that was somewhere between sixteen and twenty
hand-written pages. (I still have part
of the copy floating around here somewhere, but I believe the last couple of
pages are missing. And yes, there are
plot holes in the story that I cringed over when reading it a few years ago,
before the ending went missing. But it
was pretty good, and I was happy it placed in the writing fair.) It was one of those stories that originated
from a prompt the teacher gave us, and the other kids in my Freshman Honors
English class were stunned that my story was so long. They wondered why I didn’t MAKE it shorter. It didn’t seem long to me. The story ended when it reached its natural
conclusion. In all honesty, I could have
expanded it, but it probably was long for a school assignment. The point is, again, the story ended when it
ended. I didn’t set out to write a long
story, but that’s what happened. Some non-writers
just don’t understand that a story ends when it ends, and that you don’t always
have control over the length (at least, not before revisions and edits).
And what about the misconception that makes well-meaning
people tell you how much it’s going to cost you to publish your story? Yes, now we have a lot of indie writers who
self-publish, but they’re not talking about that. They’re talking about taking your story to a
vanity or subsidy press. These people want
to tell you that you’ll have to have a lot of money to get your book published. I try to very politely tell them that you don’t
HAVE to publish that way, that you can try to get an agent and publish your
book through one of the “big houses”.
When I tell them that, they want to tell me I HAVE to have my manuscript
in printed book format before I can even get an agent or publisher to look at
it. I try to again politely point out
that’s not true, but they’ll have none of that because they know someone
(relative, friend, cousin of a friend, boyfriend’s sister’s first cousin’s
daughter) who couldn’t get an agent or publisher to look at their manuscript
and they were told (by whom? I’d love to
know) they would have to have the book published before those people would even
look at it. At this point, I have two
options. A) Say “Okay” or “I didn’t know
that” and move on while feeling sorry for the person who actually fell for that
scam, or B) get into an argument that would only lead to hurt feelings and in
which I would likely be called names. I’m
more likely to choose A., unless the person trying to argue with me is someone
I really can’t stand. Some non-writers
just don’t understand that you don’t HAVE to publish your book to get
published.

Another favorite misconception of some non-writers that I love is
that since a person writes, the writer must always have time to spare, since
they, you know, don’t have a “real job”.
They don’t understand that many writers do have a set schedule for when
they write.
It might be from 7:00 am to 9:00
am.
Or it might be from 1:00 pm to 4:00
pm.
It doesn’t matter what the time is,
a lot of writers do have a writing schedule.
But the non-writers think they can drop in or call anytime, even if they
KNOW the writer’s schedule, and they expect the writer to drop everything and
cater to them.
If the writer tries to
tell the non-writer that they’re trying to work and can they call them back or
visit later, the non-writer either want to know A) when they got a new job, or
B) what time they have to be at work, or C) what the writer’s plans are, and
maybe they could do it together.
Now, I’m
all for spending time with family and friends, absolutely love it.
However, this always strikes me as a bit
rude, not to mention depressing.
If the
person knows they’re invading the writer’s writing period, this shows a lack of
respect for the writer and their chosen field of work, which is what I find
rude.
I also said depressing, because it
seems like the person doesn’t support what you’re trying to do in life, that
they don’t take your dream seriously, or they don’t think you’re going to be
successful anyway, so what’s the big deal?
Or all three.
Yeah, that’s just
depressing.
Some non-writers just don’t
understand that your time is just a valuable as anyone else’s.
Some non-writers don’t understand why you’re so excited that
your character just showed you how they really feel about the boy who sits
across from them in psych class (especially true if you’re a pantser). Or why
you’re a little creeped out by your character because they’ve decided they’re
done with their girlfriend and are now going to kill her because they decided
that even though they don’t want her, they don’t want anyone else to have her,
either.

Some non-writers don’t understand how you can cry because a
character YOU CREATED had to die, or isn’t going to wind up with the person you
thought they would wind up with. They’re
going to tell you if you feel so upset about it, why don’t you just NOT kill
them off, or why don’t you just put the couple together. They don’t understand you when you tell them
it doesn’t always work that way, that the story is the boss and that you’re
just the medium through which the story chooses to tell itself. Again, this is primarily true if you’re a
pantser.
Granted, this isn’t true of all non-writers, and bless those
this doesn’t apply to. We need their
support!
But sometimes, some non-writers just don’t understand.
What are some things you’ve been told or asked by
non-writers? Or some things you wish
non-writers wouldn’t do?