How to Market a Bad Book

My ideas, newly formed, on how to sell massive numbers of books like Fifty Shades.

Number One: Bad writing is a marketing ploy. People are curious and want to decide for themselves if it is really as bad as critics say:

"That stove is hot."
"Really?" *touches it* "OW!"
"Told ya."

Number Two: The author says Fifty Shades was Twilight FanFic. 

Author: "This novel is based on *insert famous book here*."

Reader: "OOOOOOOOh. I must buy this novel."

So. What do you think about my theories?  

Book Review – Fifty Shades of Grey

I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James with preconceived notions.

By the time I reached the end of the book, I did a complete flip, shocking me to my core.

First, the writing is atrocious. No way to get around that fact.

Echoes. "...He smirks. 'Are you smirking at me, Mr. Grey?' I ask sweetly..."

Repeated and unnecessary dialogue tags.I whisper. He whispers. He orders/warns/breathes.

Profanity that plops out of nowhere like a dead bird falling from the sky.

Bad sentence structure. '...I can almost hear his sphinxlike smile through the phone...'

Internal dialogue that slows the story line to a crawl.

All this and more tooth-grinding moments.

And yet…

Hidden in the horrible writing and the sex scenes that aren’t worth my time to read or review, there is an interesting story.

Talk about flummoxed. Here was a book I intended to hate. The sarcastic notes I took as I read the book attest to that fact.

Halfway through the novel, my attitude changed. It took that long for it to hook me.

This book could have been so much better. But the crappy writing and subject matter make it too easy a target for a discerning audience.

One last thought. This is not a knockoff of Twilight. The comparison is ridiculous and feeble to the max.

Now, will I buy the next in the series? Probably not. I am curious about the outcome of the characters though. I cannot recommend shelling out ten bucks to read it. But don't make up your mind on reviews or sample chapters alone. I've made that mistake in the past.

Summary: This book surprised me and the ending made me want to know more. If re-written and edited by a knowledgeable person, this novel would have garnered good critical reviews. 

Too bad voyeurism and poor writing overshadowed a good story.

Did this review make you roll your eyes? Or intrigue you? Remember, I assumed I would loathe this book. *baby shocked face*

Exploding the Truths of the Publishing World

Agents make fun of it in their blogs or throw their hands up, frustrated by the book’s popularity.

So what the hell is up with Fifty Shades of Grey?

I mean *pounding fist on computer table* WTH IS UP WITH THIS PHENOM?

Rant is over now. Everyone who scooted back from their computer monitor in horror can come back now.

One agent acknowledged the book’s success but lamented its atrocious writing. 

“As agents and editors, we rail against poor writing and ditzy plots. We turn away any book that doesn’t meet our standards. And then a book like this comes along and every truth we’ve beaten into our clients is shattered.”

So, as writers do we follow the advice of agents and editors or wallow in the marketing trend? Mounting sales of so-called horribly written books roil the waters into froth.

I am not giving a critique of this book since I’ve only read sample chapters of Fifty Shades. But I didn’t find it as engrossing as some of its readers have claimed. Maybe it gets better but I’m not willing to shell out ten bucks to find out. Some have placed this book in the same category as Twilight but I don’t see it like that. 

Confused by its popularity? Join the crowd, people.   

Hollywood is talking movie already with Ian Somerhalder starring as Christian Grey.

Okay, time out.

Hm. 

Maybe this shows some promise after all.

Have you read the book? Please, tell me why you liked/hated it.