All about query letters - Matt MacNish

  

Matthew MacNish of the Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment (QQQE) wrote this excellent guest post for us last year for Query Con. His blog is a great place to read up on all the intricate details of queries and see examples. We highly recommend you check it out. Here's Matthew...

All about Query Letters 

When I first queried my first novel, I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know a single writer. So I wrote what I thought was a good query, and sent it out. I got a couple of requests (surely based more on the pages than the query), but I was inevitably rejected. I wasn’t ready. Neither was my query—or my book.
You can read some of my terrible old queries, and see many good examples of the mistakes I made, by checking the label “queries-rejections” at my blog.

After all that rejection, I decided to study query letters, and decided I would get good at them. So I started my blog, and began by sharing my own mistakes, so others could learn from them. Then I started finding some great resources for helping to learn how to write a better query. First, was Nathan Bransford’s blog, specifically posts like Query Letter Mad Libs, and Anatomy of a Good Query Letter. Then it was Kate Testerman’s blog, and especially her service Ask Daphne! About My Query. Then I met Elana Johnson, read her e-book From the Query to the Call, and after getting to know her (and the other great hosts) for a while, I won a query contest at Write On Con, which you can read the results of Literary Agent Joanna Stampfel-Volpe's critique of my query, here.

Once I figured out how to write a decent query, I started hosting and analyzing successful ones on my blog. You can find a list of those posts, here. Then, once I became familiar with good queries, I started critiquing query letters on my blog.

You can find those posts by checking the label “queries-critiques.”

So, now that you know some of the history of how I ended up running this blog about query letters, let’s talk about some of the basics of a standard query letter.

Assuming you want to write a standard query letter, and not break any of the “rules,” this is how it works: One page or less, 250 words is generally a good guideline. Usually 3 paragraphs.

• First is your opening hook and pitch. You need to get across a strong sense of character right away, and if you can sprinkle in some backstory, in a nice, organic way, that's great. Then try to finish up with the inciting incident.
• Second, you want to introduce the conflict. If you can sprinkle in setting and stakes, great. Try to be specific as possible. Avoid clichés, and make it clear why your story is unique.
• Finally, you need to give us an idea of what choices your character has to make in order to overcome the conflict. The best choices are really tough ones, in which there is no clear or easy solution.

So that's: Character. Conflict. Choice. The three Cs.

Some personalization about why you queried that specific agent, and some kind of writing background bio are a great way to finish, but it’s the heart of the story that really matters.

If you can get those three things across clearly, and sprinkle in some great voice, you’ll be off to a good start.

I want to thank all the Unicorn Bell authors for having me on. Let us know if you have any questions in the comments.

Marketing. Are you too busy to do it?

 

I've heard it all before.

I don’t have time to market my book.

Publicity is not my style.

I’m really shy.

Perhaps you’re all of the above. Maybe you have other excuses. But let me tell you this. From the day you put a The End to your beloved manuscript, marketing is All. You’ll. Do.

No one gives a flying fig about your book. No one cares as much as you do. No one can offer a compelling reason to read your book.

Except for you.

At UnicornBell, we talk about critiquing those first chapters, that important first page, and who to send them to. But nothing gets you published if No One Reads It. Not the best written chapter in the history of literature or most alluring book ever. Nope. Nada. Nothing.

To draw people into your world, you must write a compelling hook. I mean, those fish won’t just leap into the boat, folks. You start with a query, a sentence, a unique idea that brings readers to your ms.

Taglines, queries, synopsis, blurbs; these are your first marketing tools. You must learn them in order to be a part of this writerly world. Establish your platform in social media with blogging, websites, Twitter, Facebook, Google, and Goodreads.

And regarding blogging, informative material is All. If no one follows you, if there are no spectators then you are not marketing yourself well. Alex Cavanaugh is one of the best examples of a well-run, informative, and consistent blog. He comments on nearly all of his followers' blogs, a mighty accomplishment to be sure. It creates loyalty and connects him with his followers.

Some believe the real marketing begins after the contract with bling prizes, bloghops, and book tours. And yes, that will be a big part of your life when it happens. But before all that, marketing yourself is the one and only relevant tool in your mechanics box.

If you think writing the novel was the hard part, I want to give you a heads up. If you don’t market your manuscript, nothing will come of it.

Learn how to market. There is no other way.

Query Workshop 27--Race to Butch Cassidy's Gold

Title: RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY'S GOLD
Genre: MG Mystery


Twelve-year-old Maggie McCoy wants to be brave and spontaneous. But she’s not. Especially when it comes to school bullies and "flying by the seat of her pants". So when she and her fearless cousin Jake stumble upon century-old clues leading to gold coins hidden by Butch Cassidy--farm boy turned infamous bank robber of the Wild West--she crumples her “to-do” list to prove that she really can be daring and impulsive.

And at first, searching for gold with Jake and their quirky Grandpa Jim in his beat-up motorhome is the grand adventure she's always wanted. But Maggie’s newfound courage falters when she learns they must outsmart and outrun a dangerous thief who is also after the treasure.

The race is on. But, just as the cousins think they have solved the mystery, Jake is captured, and all the lists in the world won't save him. Only Maggie can, if she finds her bravery. 

RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY'S GOLD is a 41,500-word middle grade mystery where Maggie's present-day adventures parallel Butch Cassidy's past until mystery and history collide. This book stands alone, but can open the door for a series that exposes readers to fast-paced adventures across the fifty states.

With a Master’s degree in Elementary Education, I have been both an elementary and middle school classroom teacher. I am a regular attendee of writers’ conferences and have three published magazine articles. I created the successful marketing website, Giveaway Today, with an apex of 176,000 page views per month.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Query Workshop 26-The Curiosity

Title - The Curiosity
Genre - Horror (historic)


Revision 1

Dear Unicorn Bell,
Anthropology Professor Duncan Clarke discovers, inside an antique journal, a drawing of an emaciated child with terrified eyes. Intrigued, Duncan becomes determined to unveil the identity of the strange child.

Soon, Duncan realizes he's on the verge of an anthropological breakthrough; the child is an alleged 19th century Haitian Voodoo Zombie. Now Duncan must authentic the findings before he reaps the rewards.

However, unlike his usual research, this case challenges everything he thought he understood about science, the human body and the depravity to which a desperate man would sink.

Sucked into a dark world, Duncan begins to change from a conventional professor to one who would risk his family, his job and even break the law to find out the truth of the past.

Finally, when faced with the horrific truth, will Duncan's choices lead him to scientific glory or inextricable hell?

The Curiosity is a 110,000 word historic horror frame story that takes place in both 1865 London and 1990 England as Duncan Clarke brings into his day a macabre tale from the past. It can stand alone but I am exploring the concept of a sequel or two, as the conclusion of the story easily lends itself well to that.

Original
Dear Unicorn Bell,

Professor Duncan Clarke, head of the anthropology department at England's Cambridge University is looking forward to a restful two-week sabbatical when on his way home he stops at a private residence to pick up a donation of strange artifacts and journals for his department.

When a disturbing drawing of an emaciated young boy with terrified eyes falls out of one the journals, Duncan is immediately mesmerized  and dives into the journals to discover the identity of this horrific looking child.

What Duncan is to learn from the journals is like no other anthropological find he has ever come across. They reveal the century-old recorded case of Henri, an actual Haitian Zumbi. The journals, belonging to a Victorian London curiosity dealer named Edward Walker, document the boy's rescue and his attempted rehabilitation in England, where he is kept in seclusion, nursed and studied by the eccentric Mr. Walker.

On the verge of an anthropological break through, Duncan becomes obsessed with trying to authenticate the tale he reads in Edward's journal, using the devices at his disposal as a department head together with the clues that seem to be lying at his fingertips inside the crates of artifacts, if only he can piece the bizarre facts together.

As Duncan gets deeper into the journal and the strange facts of the case, he begins to change from a by-the-book professor to one who will risk his family, his job and even break the law to find out the truth of Edward's Zumbi.

Finally, Duncan's curiosity will alter his life in ways he never anticipates when in the final conclusion he realizes his obsession has damned his life forever.

The Curiosity is a 110,000 word historic horror frame story that takes place in both 1865 London and 1990 England as Duncan Clarke brings into his day a macabre tale from the past. It can stand alone but I am exploring the concept of a sequel or two, as the conclusion of the story easily lends itself well to that.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Query Workshop 25--The Eldritch Tales

Title: The Eldritch Tales
Genre: YA Fantasy 

Dear (Agent),

A thief longing for redemption, a girl with no memories, and an evil god stricken with mortality are all chaotically intertwined; one could save us, one holds a secret, and one seeks to destroy us.

After a case of mistaken identity Tristan Storey finds himself on the gallows for a murder he did not commit. Moments before his execution a stranger falls from the sky kidnapping Vespa, daughter of the man Tristan ‘murdered’. Wanting nothing more than to escape his grim fate Tristan pursues the two only to find himself trapped in an enslaved world known as The Black. This world is ruled by an evil god who seeks an eternal soul which now lives within Vespa. Upon Tristan’s arrival the god’s plans are thwarted by three angels, but not before the kidnapper makes off with one crucial item, Vespa’s memories.
     
Seeking redemption for his sins, Tristan becomes entwined in a frantic scheme to recover the stolen memories. The very memories holding the secret a god seeks so desperately to hide, his mortality.
       
Completed at 84,000 words, The Eldritch Tales, is the first segment in my YA fantasy Trilogy. The full manuscript is available for viewing upon request.
        
I have included a SASE for your convenience, and thank you for your generous time. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Cordially,

Query Workshop 24--The Very First

Title:  The Very First
Genre:  Upper MG historical fiction


When German-born Katherine Brandt immigrates in 1938, her dearest wish is to become a real American girl. She even accepts the American nickname Sparky to try to gain acceptance. But before she can realize her dream, she’s going to have to learn the ins and outs of the unusual town and group of friends she’s joined.

Sparky is taken under the wing of Cinnimin Filliard, who teaches her a thing or two about American life and their strange Atlantic City neighborhood. Sparky wants to believe Cinni is steering her right, but Cinni has some conflicting attitudes. Cinni is nice and intelligent, but she often assumes a superior attitude just because she was voted Most Popular Girl. In particular, she seems to hate their rich neighbor Violet, whom Cinni is convinced is after her title.

Sparky will do almost anything to fit in, except compromise her Judaism. She longs to be Sparky to her friends while remaining Kätchen to her family and staying true to her values. Along the way, Cinni, who tries to tempt her into wearing shorter skirts and eating non-kosher food, slowly begins realizing that there’s more than one acceptable way to be a real American. Only one thing is for certain—on Sparky’s upcoming birthday, she’s going to wish to be a real American girl, and she wants that wish to come true, even if she has to make some modifications she once thought she’d never make.

THE VERY FIRST, a work of upper MG historical fiction with elements of social satire, is complete at 60,000 words.

I have a BA from [redacted] in history and Russian and Eastern European Studies,with a focus on 20th century Russian history and the World War II/Shoah era,and worked in the production room of an Albany, NY-based newspaper, The Jewish World, for five years, writing, researching, and proofreading articles.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Query Workshop 23-On Common Ground

Title: On Common Ground
Genre: Speculative Fiction/ Urban Fantasy


Officer Grace Rayne doesn’t know that her guardian angel Gabe exists. Nor does she know that he has fallen in love with her, until it is her time to die in the line of duty at the hands of vengeful gang members. Gabe breaks the rules of heaven and puts his own life, as well as his job, in peril by saving her. Hunted by his best friend who vows to steal his powers, it is now Grace who guards her falling angel.

Her house grows even more full when she harbors a good-hearted, half-breed demon named Luke whose incubus father is determined to either turn him evil or kill him. The gang, developing mysterious ties with certain supernatural individuals, is out for a second chance at Grace. The brooding angel must team up with his natural enemy, the jovial half-demon, to protect the mortal police officer they both care about.

ON COMMON GROUND is a 62,000 word novel of Urban Fantasy / Speculative Fiction. This is written as a stand alone, but sets up a good opportunity for sequels in the same world, with the same main characters.

Sincerely,

Query Workshop 22--Who is Audrey Wickersham?

Title: Who is Audrey Wickersham?
Genre: Horror/paranormal



REVISION 3

Audrey Wickersham loves books, horror movies and anything supernatural, and she's finally decided to try her first spell. She heads to her favorite hang out, The Magick Eye, to find the perfect one. She encounters Agnes, the old Gypsy who offers to create a custom spell for her in the Annex. Audrey is thrilled until she encounters an ancient yet totally disgusting parasite called the Zomorwai. While messing with the jar they are contained in, a warning shout from Agnes causes her to spill the creatures, allowing them to invade and attack her system.

When she begins to forget basic words in her vocabulary--even her cat--she must tell her overly protective yet devoted father what happened. Their only solution is to confront Agnes, but when they discover Audrey is becoming a zombie, they will try any spell Agnes can come up with to stop it. Audrey's eccentric neighbor volunteers his skills as a nurse, and her best friend proposes an alternate solution in secret. The only problem is she would still have to die.

But Audrey holds a secret of her own. She's developing a taste for humans, and those closest to her are in the most danger. She must decide quickly. Will she go with magick, or death?

WHO IS AUDREY WICKERSHAM? is a young adult horror novel with elements of paranormal and comedy, complete at 64,000 words. It can he opened to a series, and I have already started on the second book.


Revision2

Fifteen year old Audrey Wickersham loves books, horror movies and anything supernatural, and she's finally decided to try her first spell. She heads to her favorite hang out, The Magick Eye, to look for the perfect one. She encounters Agnes, the old Gypsy who offers to create a custom spell for Audrey in the Annex. Audrey is thrilled until she encounters an ancient yet totally disgusting parasite called the Zomorwai. While messing with the jar they are contained in, she is jolted by a warning shout from Agnes, which she responds to by accidentally knocking the jar over, spilling the creatures all over herself, allowing them to invade and attack her system.

When she begins to forget basic words in her vocabulary--even what her cat is--she must tell her overly protective yet devoted father what happened. Their only solution is to confront Agnes. But when they all discover that Audrey is becoming a zombie, they will try any spell that Agnes can come up with to stop it. Audrey's eccentric neighbor Bruce volunteers his skills as a nurse, and her mysterious best friend Kirk offers an alternate solution, proposed in secret to Audrey. The only problem is she would still have to die.

But Audrey holds a secret of her own.  She is developing a taste for humans, and those closest to her are in the most danger. She must decide quickly. Will she go with magick, or will she go with death?

Revision1
Fifteen year old Audrey Wickersham has finally decided to try a spell.  She heads to her favorite hang-out,The Magick Eye, where she encounters Agnes, an old Gypsy woman who is the creator of all things magical for the shop.  She offers Audrey a personalized spell, made in an area of the shop previously unknown to Audrey called the annex.  Audrey is thrilled until she finds herself victim to an ancient yet totally disgusting parasite called the Zomorwai, which she seemed to be drawn to the moment she stepped foot into the annex.  She is attacked by the creatures and is unable to defend herself.

She is immediately faced with confronting her overly protective yet devoted father, along with their eccentric friend Bruce, with what’s happened to her.  Once they are convinced that she is transforming into something they don’t understand—something not human—Audrey will have to decide if she is willing to fight against the consequences of the attack using the skills of those willing to help, or if she will choose another option entirely, proposed to her secretly by her best friend Kirk.

But Audrey still holds a secret of her own.  She is developing a taste for humans, and those closest to her are in the most danger.  She must decide quickly.  Will she do what everyone is expecting of her, or will she lie and do the unexpected?

Original
Audrey Wickersham loves books, horror movies and anything supernatural.  This is what has driven her to try out a spell, which brings her to her favorite hang out, The Magick Eye.  On this particular day she meets Agnes, the old Gypsy woman who makes all of the spells for the shop over in another area (unknown to Audrey until this time) called the annex.  Audrey is thrilled until she finds herself victim to an ancient yet totally disgusting parasite called the Zomorwai, which she seemed to be drawn to the moment she stepped foot into the annex.  She is attacked by the creatures, which changes her life forever.

She is thrown into an unimaginable situation, along with her overly protective yet devoted father, her mysterious best friend Kirk and her eccentric neighbor Bruce.  With all of their help, Audrey will have to decide if she is going to try and live through her attack and all of the consequences that come along with it, or if she will choose another, more unconventional option, proposed to her secretly by Kirk. 

But Audrey still holds a secret.  She is developing a taste for humans, and those closest to her are in the most danger.  She must decide quickly.  Will she do what everyone is expecting of her, or will she lie and do the unexpected?

Query Workshop 21-Revival: The Donald Braswell Story

Title: Revival: The Donald Braswell Story
Genre: Memoir


Revision 1--down from 411 words to 206! Great job!

Dear Agent,

In 1995, a handsome, up-and-coming tenor, performing with the Welsh Opera was out cycling when he was struck by a hit-and-run driver. Suffering only cuts and bruises, Donald Braswell, described as “the next Pavarotti,” was relieved until he realized the accident stole the irreplaceable – his voice.

Doctors told the Juilliard graduate he might never sing again, yet Braswell, a life-long Christian, never lost faith. His journey back to a professional stage took thirteen years of menial jobs, one musical miracle and a 2008 audition on America’s Got Talent. That first AGT performance almost ended before it began as a restless, tired crowd heckled the “Texas Tenor” before he sang a note. But, after he finished Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up,” the jeers became cheers and Braswell’s improbable ride to the Final Four was underway.

Today, Braswell, 49, is again a full time entertainer with an annual schedule that includes many charitable concerts to further his goal of “paying it forward.” An inspirational story of perseverance and chance, it is no wonder then-judge Piers Morgan once called Braswell, “The Rocky of our show.”

A former journalist and current blogger, I am co-writing REVIVAL: THE DONALD BRASWELL STORY. The 67,000-word memoir is complete and polished.*###

(*Imagine it’s Feb. 2013 :)

 

Best regards, and aloha!
Original
Dear Agent,

In 1995, a handsome young tenor, performing with the Welsh Opera was cycling when a hit-and-run driver struck him. Suffering only cuts and bruises, Donald Braswell, described as “the next Pavarotti,” was relieved until he realized the accident stole the irreplaceable – his voice. New York doctors confirmed the million-to-one throat injury. The Juilliard graduate was told he might talk, but would never sing again. An immediate $50,000 payday was lost, as was the long-term career of “the American Corelli.” Braswell refused to quit. He relearned speech, rediscovered song and regained self-respect in the following years. Working as a plasterer’s assistant, he also sold insurance, pools and used cars, anything to provide for his growing family.


In 2004, Braswell met Walter Lucas at the car dealership, and agreed to the homeless-looking man’s request for a test drive. Hearing Braswell’s story, Walter, a former musician, told him to contact a local, Grammy-winning music studio. Executives said producing a CD would cost $50,000. Could Braswell contact a trusted client to bankroll the project? Calling his first sale at the Jaguar dealership, the woman was shocked – but not due to Braswell calling – she’d just bought that music studio. Struggling for nine years to regain a toe hold in the world of opera, Braswell inked his first record deal just two weeks after what he dubbed “The Miracle of Music.”


Overall, Braswell’s journey back to a professional stage took him thirteen years and a first audition on America’s Got Talent (2008.) During his first performance, the restless crowd heckled even before Braswell sang one note. After finishing Josh Groban’s You Raise Me Up, the jeers became cheers. Eliminated in the next round, the “Texas Tenor” was voted back on the show following an emergency Wild Card round. A fan favorite, Braswell sang his way to the AGT Finals, where he placed fourth overall. Today, Braswell, 49, is again a full time entertainer with three CDs and much more to his name. Blessed with this second chance, his annual schedule includes many charitable and Christian concerts to further his goal of “paying it forward” to those less fortunate. (His most recent lead role was Cornelius in a June 2012 charity musical, The Centurion.)


A former journalist, current blogger (and an ex-Irishman living in Hawaii,) I am co-writing REVIVAL: THE DONALDBRASWELL STORY. The book proposal for this memoir is complete and 47k words are“in the bank.” The 67,000-word ms will be ready by Jan. 15, 2013.

Query Workshop 20--Wish

Title: Wish
Genre: YA Historical Fantasy

Revision 1
Most seventeen-year old girls receive gifts on their birthday. Not Prism Chase. She is the gift. She's a Fairy Angel, and it's her turn to reply to the birthday wish. It doesn't matter that it's her birthday too, or that it's the eve of her graduation from Fairy Academy.

Ten years earlier the lie of an Unseelie fairy, masquerading as a palace cook, condemned Alexander Ryan's mother to death by starvation. He's sought vengeance on all fairies ever since. On his seventeenth birthday, he blows out all his candles and wishes for revenge. It's up to Prism to fulfill the wish and teach him that not all fairies are evil.

Alex believes falling love in love with a fairy would betray his mother, but he can't resist Prism's charms and beauty. Now he must convince Prism he loves her. But that may be impossible because she thinks all he wants to do is kill her.

Wish is a 57,000 word YA retelling of the fairy tale The Pink.


Original
Most eighteen-year old girls receive gifts on their birthday. Not Prism Chase. She was the gift. Fairy Angels answer the birthday wisher who blows out every candle on his cake and it’s Prism’s turn to reply to the wish call. No one cares she was supposed to be celebrating her own birthday, or that it was the eve of her graduation from Fairy Academy.

Ten years ago, a scheming fairy lied about Alexander Ryan's mother.As a result, his mother was sent to the dungeons and stripped of her crown. Now it was time for payback. On Alexander's seventeenth birthday, he blew out his candles and asked for a fairy that could make all his wishes for revenge come true. Out of all the wishes Alex could imagine, he never planned to fall in love. Loving a fairy means betraying the memory of his mother.

All Prism wished for was to live life as herself and not as some desire of an unforgiving wisher. When Alex promises he will grant her every wish, Prism hopes her dreams will finally come true. What really surprised Prism was how she could actually consider forfeiting her graduation and asking to become human to marry a man who wanted to kill her, but now says he loves her.

WISH is a 57,000 YA retelling mash-up of the fairy tale The Pink

Query Workshop 19--Soul Driver

Title:Soul Driver
Genre:YA Historical Fantasy

Revision 2
River Morgan received an extraordinary gift for her sixteenth birthday. Her grandfather gave her a Memory Book and taught her how to erase memories. To keep the memories from becoming her own she must write them in the Memory Book. When the Book is stolen and her Grandfather disappears, River is no longer able to tell the difference from her memories from those she's wiped away. Unless she finds the Memory Book, her identity will be lost forever.

The Book becomes a memory-stealing book when placed in the wrong hands. Shae Conniers thought she had swiped a cool looking journal but instead she got nothing but trouble. The powers of the Book intrigue Shae. But when the memories swirling in her head turn scary, she's glad they lead back to River so she can rid herself of the nightmares. Their personalities clash. Big time. But they must unite to fight the book. And solve the biggest problem; why hasn't River’s memories returned?

Underground forces claim they have the answers River needs to unlock the Book and regain her memories. But when they learn Shae is the daughter of the missing Queen Rose, the underground realm promises to help River in exchange of little Miss. Princess. River must choose between finding her own memory or saving Shae.

Memories of Me  is a YA mash-up of Sleeping Beauty and The Shadowy One, a Celtic myth, and is complete at 60,000 words. 


Revision 1
River Morgan received an extraordinary gift for her sixteenth birthday. Her grandfather gave her a Memory Book and taught her how to erase memories. To keep the memories from becoming her own she must write them in the Memory Book. When the Book is stolen and her Grandfather disappears, River is no longer able to tell the difference from her memories from those she's wiped away. Unless she finds the Memory Book, her identity will be lost forever.

The Book becomes a memory-stealing book when placed in the wrong hands. Shae Conniers thought she had swiped a cool looking journal but instead she got nothing but trouble. The powers of the Book intrigue Shae. But when the memories swirling in her head turn scary, she's glad they lead back to River so she can rid herself of the nightmares. Their personalities clash. Big time. But they must unite to fight the book. And solve the biggest problem; why hasn't River’s memories returned?

Underground forces claim they have the answers River needs to unlock the Book and regain her memories. But when they learn Shae is the daughter of the missing Queen Rose, the underground realm promises to help River in exchange of little Miss. Princess. River must choose between finding her own memory or saving Shae.

But when they learn Shae is the daughter of the missing Queen Rose, the underground realm promises to help River only in exchange of little Miss. Princess. River must choose between finding her own memory or saving Shae.

Memories of Me  is a YA mash-up of Sleeping Beauty and The Shadowy One, a Celtic myth, and is complete at 60,000 words.


Original
River Morgan received an extraordinary gift for her sixteenth birthday. Her grandfather gave her a Memory Book and taught her how to erase memories. To keep the memories from becoming her own she must write them in the Memory Book.When the Book is stolen, River is no longer able to tell the difference from her memories from those she's wiped away. Unless she finds the Memory Book, her identity will be lost forever.

The Book becomes a memory stealing book when placed in the wrong hands. Shae Conniers thought she had swiped a cool looking journal but it ends up she gotten nothing but trouble. The powers of the Book sound intriguing to Shae but when the memories swirling around her head turn scary, she's glad the memories lead her to River so she can rid herself of the nightmare memories. Although the girls personality clash big time, they know they must unite to fight the powers of the Book. River has the Book back, why hasn't her memories returned?

To unlock the powers for the book, River connects with some underground forces who promise they have the answers she need. The choice comes at a high price for Shae. Now River must choose between finding her own identity or doing what is right for Shae. Or, she can search for the answer that will save them both.

SOUL DRIVER is a YA mash-up of Sleeping Beauty and The Shadowy One, a Celtic myth, and is complete at 60,000 words.

Note: This author is considering a title change. Which of the following draws you in more?

Soul Driver
Memory of Me
Sweet Sleep

Query Workshop 18--Joshua's Tree

Title: Joshua's Tree
Genre: YA Science Fiction

Revision 1

Dear Ms. (agent's name),

Set in the distant future, Joshua’s Tree is a YA science fiction at 75,000 words.

When a skateboarding accident hurls 17-year-old Joshua Tyler into a dismal future terrorized by flesh-eating mutants, he taps into the strength and courage hidden within him and survives only to discover his horrifying relationship to the scientific genius that brought all life on Earth to the brink of annihilation.

Josh is saved from the cannibalistic monsters by 17-year-old warrior student Nadia, who believes he may be the prophesied savior sent to rescue her people. While struggling with doubt about her role as his guardian, Nadia takes it on herself to teach him to fight so he can fulfill his destiny. Terrified by the constant threat of a violent death, Josh wants nothing more than to stay alive and get back to his own life. But the longer he survives in this strange place, the more he learns about its creation. Charged with the job of assassinating the enemy’s leader, Josh begins to uncover his connection to the flesh-eating mutants—a nightmarish truth that could prevent him from ever finding his way home.

Joshua’s Tree is the first book in a potential trilogy and will appeal to readers of books like Divergent and The Scorch Trials. An earlier revision of was selected as a quarter-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest 2012.  I’m a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and would be happy to provide a copy of my manuscript for your consideration. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Original
Dear Ms. (agent's name),

Set in the distant future, Joshua’s Tree is a YA science fiction at 75,000 words. It is the first book in a potential trilogy and will appeal to readers of books like Divergent and The Scorch Trials.

When smart but timid 17-year-old Joshua Tyler is forced to tap into the strength and courage hidden within him, he discovers an evil that has brought all life on Earth to the brink of annihilation.

After a skateboarding accident leaves him unconscious, Joshua wakes up to find flesh-eating mutants hunting him. Trapped in this strange future, Josh is saved from the monsters by17-year-old warrior student Nadia, who believes Josh is the prophesized savior sent to rescue her people. To keep him alive so he can fulfill his destiny, she teaches him to fight the monsters. Terrified by the constant threat of a violent death, Josh initially doesn’t care about saving this world—all he wants to do is to stay alive and get back to his own life. But the longer he survives in this dismal place, the more he learns about how it was created. The nightmarish truth Josh begins to uncover might ruin everything he has worked toward and prevent him from ever finding his way home.

An earlier version of Joshua’s Tree was selected as a quarter-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest 2012.  I’m a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and would be happy to provide a copy of my manuscript for your consideration. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Query Workshop 17--Darkling

Title: DARKLING
Genre: YA Fantasy

Dear Awesome Agent,

Seventeen-year-old Taela does what she has to survive, but she doesn’t think of herself as a murderer. When the sister she idolizes is executed for treason, Taela vows to avenge her death--even if it means killing the kingdom’s only hope for salvation. Some believe renegade leader Hawke is destined to save their land from an ancient evil. To Taela, the drunken ass who charmed her sister and left her to die is no hero.

With the element of surprise on her side, Taela sets out after the seasoned warrior, determined to thrust her dagger into his heart. The road to revenge leads her to the mysterious Darkling Forest where, lost among shape-shifting trees, Taela has disturbing prophetic visions. When a soldier with no soul attacks, she learns innocent men are being turned into drone soldiers for the king’s army. She puts her vendetta aside to make a truce with Hawke. Their fragile alliance will be put to the test when Taela discovers the truth about her sister’s death, and it forever ties Taela’s destiny to the very man she wants to destroy.

DARKLING is a YA Fantasy novel, with series potential, complete at 72,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Kristin Cashore or Leigh Bardugo.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Query Workshop 16--Tagestraum

TITLE:  Tagestraum
GENRE:  Fantasy


Dear [agent]

When social worker Adrian Montgomery's seven-year-old client, Nathaniel, disappears from his backyard, he jumps on the chance to aid in the investigation, but he doesn't expect the search to lead him to another world.

At the scene of the boy's disappearance is a doorway that only Adrian seems to be able to see.  On the other side is Tagestraum, a realm fed by the energy of children's imaginations. Without their dreams, the whole faerie kingdom would be plunged into the sort of Darkness where monsters are born and nightmares become real.  But Tagestraum's been suffering an energy crisis lately because someone has been stealing dreams – and the kids who make them.

In order to find the dream-thief and rescue Nathaniel, Adrian must journey through a savage wonderland of flesh-eating unicorns, dream-addicted faeries and corrupt monarchs. Worse, Tagestraum itself assaults the sanity of rational minds, and Adrian's is made up of locked doors and labeled file cabinets. At night, the Darkness drags him through his darkest memories, forcing him to face horrors from his own troubled childhood.

As the search unfolds, he realizes that he's not here by coincidence. And if he can't stop the dream thief, Tagestraum isn't the only world that will be overrun with Darkness.

TAGESTRAUM is an 80,000 dark fantasy that would appeal to fans of Neil Gaiman and China Mieville.  My short stories have previously appeared in the Dark Valentines anthology from Whortleberry Press as well as Freedom Fiction Journal and MicroHorror.

I have attached [whatever you're looking for] per the guidelines on your website.  The full manuscript is available upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Query Workshop 14--Let My Life Be Proof

LET MY LIFE BE PROOF
YA Contemporary Fiction

Revision 1
LET MY LIFE BE PROOF is a 60,000 word Contemporary YA novel.      

At seventeen, brainiac Emme Sawyer is the youngest girl to graduate from the University of Washington with a medical degree, but quickly discovers being a grown up is a giant bore.  Seeking adventure Emme heads for the Navy.  Convinced she will be deployed in the safety of a hospital, her parents sign early enlistment papers.  But shortly after arriving in Afghanistan, Emme’s mobile hospital is bombed.  Jumping at the chance to be closer to the action she joins a Marine unit.  Placed under the protection of a Special ops sharp shooter, Emme accompanies the unit on a mission.  Through her deployment Emme learns her schooling could never have prepared her for the pain and suffering she must try to heal.  After her guard is killed by an IED Emme shuts off her emotions.  But when her commanding officer, Raven, takes the job of looking after her, the feelings she tried to bury begin to emerge.  The only problem is it’s against regulation to fall for him.  When Emme receives life altering injuries while saving the life of a child, she's shipped home.  Faced with the nightmares of her past, unresolved feelings for Raven, and the possibility of never being able to practice medicine again, Emme struggles to move forward in a world she no longer feels a part of.

I am a member of YALITCHAT.org and volunteer in the Submission Mailbox.  I am  Nationally Board Certified in Early Childhood Education and currently teach. 

Thank you for your concideration.

Original
LET MY LIFE BE PROOF is a 60,000 word Contemporary YA novel.

Emme Sawyer graduates from medical school at seventeen only to discover her early introduction to adulthood is one giant bore.  Seeking adventure, she enlists as a medic in the Navy.  After the mobile hospital she works in suffers major loses, Emme is attached to 3rd Bravo Company, a Marine Infantry Unit.  Placed under the guard of a Special Ops sharp shooter, Emme accompanies the unit on a mission to run the Taliban out of the city of  Marjah.  Through the tragedy of war, Emme learns lessons beyond her years as she faces the pain of loss while fighting to save the injured men in her unit.  After she suffers a life changing injury, Emme returns home, faced with the nightmares of her past and the fear of how to move forward in a world she no longer feels a part of.

I am a member of YALITCHAT.org and volunteer on the Submission Mailbox.  I am Nationally Board Certified in Early Childhood Literacy and have a book review blog called Loco for Libros. 

Thank you for you consideration.

Query Workshop 13--And Jakob flew the Fiend Away

Title:  And Jakob Flew the Fiend Away
Genre:  Historical fiction, Bildungsroman

Jakob DeJonghe can think of nothing but revenge when the Nazis coerce his father into suicide and his little sister mysteriously disappears the day before Yom Kippur.  The situation in occupied Amsterdam soon worsens, with increasingly restrictive laws and barbed wire around the Jewish Quarter.  Jakob is determined to do something, anything, to fight back and be the master of his own destiny, just as his heroes the Maccabees did in ancient times.

While en route from Westerbork, Jakob finally takes action and jumps from a death train.  As he’s fleeing to safety with a broken foot, he’s found by four young resistance fighters and taken to a safe house.  Even though Jakob has been left with a permanent limp, he’s still determined to defend his country and track down the men who killed his father.

His dream comes true when he joins a resistance group specializing in assassinations and sabotage. But when he runs into Rachel Roggenfelder, a beautiful, spirited young woman, on one of his missions, he starts to feel the slow reawakening of emotions he thought he’d buried.  As much as he tries to deny it, he can’t stop thinking about her, even during the dark days of the brutal Hongerwinter. 

After being recruited into the Princess Irene Brigade and made a real soldier, he bumps into Rachel again.  Finding his dream girl again seems like a dream come true, but soon another separation looms.  While Rachel is an ocean away in America, Jakob is called to a tour of duty in the Dutch East Indies and begins the painful process of relearning how to be a part of humanity in a shell shocked postwar Amsterdam.  Only this time, love and not hate carries him through.

And Jakob Flew the Fiend Away, a historical fiction Bildungsroman spanning the years 1940-46 and set in the Netherlands and the Dutch East Indies, is complete at 120,000 words.  It will appeal to fans of World War II-era sagas such as Julie Orringer’s The Invisible Bridge and Herman Wouk’s The Winds of War and War and Remembrance.

I have a BA from [redacted] in history and Russian and Eastern European Studies, with a focus on 20th century Russian history and the World War II/Shoah era, and worked in the production room of an Albany, NY-based newspaper, The Jewish World, for five years, writing, researching, and proofreading articles.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Query Workshop 12--The Refugee

Title:  The Refugee
Genre:  Sci-Fi Thriller

Ross Chambers is used to dodging bullets.  All kinds, too, from musket balls to machine-gun fire.

For years he has been the top agent at Hourglass, an underground organization dedicated to "Protecting the Present by Preserving the Past," as its motto goes.  Its teams of highly trained time travelers police history, making sure that it unfolds naturally -- without interference from the skilled terrorists who wish alternate outcomes upon certain events.

But when his fiancé perishes in a fire, Ross will do anything to get her back -- even if it means becoming a so-called terrorist himself.  That is, changing the past.

Which wouldn't be too difficult, were his memory of the tragedy not as black as smoke.  Every time he tries to return, he spirals to a completely different time and place.  Like Paris, 1793, where he is mistaken for a long-awaited hero with a knack for depriving the guillotine of its victims.  A Scarlet Pimpernel in Nikes and blue jeans.

Rescuing his fiancé is one matter, but saving total strangers is a whole 'nother -- a sure-fire way to get himself killed, that's what.  Not to mention he spent half his life working to maintain history's established melody.  But when he sees firsthand that he has power over life and death, he's not so sure if altering the bloodstained past is necessarily a bad thing.  It might, in fact, lead to a better world, one person at a time.

Worth a shot, in his eyes.

But it doesn't take long for his work to gain him unwanted attention from people like Robespierre, and Hitler, and Torquemada -- all of whom want him dead.  Though not as much as Dr. Lorraine Field, his former boss and the director of Hourglass.  She wants to feed his heart to Aztec gods and strap his corpse to the hull of the Titanic.  To her, his daring adventures through time pose a threat to modern society, or so she tells her agents.  Changing history is a dangerous game, and the world's timeline cannot depend on the whims of one man -- even one like Ross Chambers.  Especially one like Ross Chambers.

That's why she'll stop at nothing to make sure he's the Most Wanted Man of All Time.  Literally.

THE REFUGEE is a sci-fi thriller complete at 100,000 words.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Query Workshop 11--Finding Meara

Title: Finding Meara
Genre: Urban Fantasy


Revision 1

Dear Agent,

Twenty-six year old Hazel Michelli lived her dream life, full of easy money and cool Denver parties, until a winged creature kidnapped her and took her to the Realm, a parallel land where magic and monsters exist.  But the creature screwed up – she isn’t the girl named Meara he sought.

Narrowly escaping back to Colorado, Hazel’s reality becomes crazier still. She learns the creature got the wrong girl for the right reason. She’s adopted and her birth family is dysfunctional with a capital “D”. 

Meara is her much younger half-sister.  Her mother is a murdered Earth force magician,and her father, Lucian Rosen, a sadistic Life force magician, desperate to sacrifice one of his daughters to maintain immortality. The Earth force magic in Hazel’s blood provides the added bonus of unrestrained power with which he could take over the Realm, and moves Hazel to the top of the sacrifice list.

All Hazel wants is to forget the Realm and reclaim her comfy life, but Meara remains in danger, and Hazel’s the only one who can return to the Realm to save her.  Hazel races between the two worlds, searching for the little girl while attempting to stay one step ahead of Lucian.  Their lives, and the future of Realm, leave her no room for failure.

FINDING MEARA is an adult contemporary fantasy complete at 80,000 words similar in style to Janet Evanovich’s Wicked series.

In 2011, two of my short stories, The Copier and Phantom Deposit, were published in the print anthologies Daily Bites of Flesh 2011, and Steamy Screams, respectively.  My contemporary fantasy short story, Bear Hug, was published in the February 2012issue of the online journal, Hogglepot.

Thank you for your time and attention,

Original
Dear Agent,

At the tender age of twenty-six,Hazel Michelli has achieved her dream life. A bull’s-eye intuition wins her easy money through online horse races; she lives in a penthouse apartment, and gets invited to all the cool parties around Denver.

Her idyllic existence begins to unravel the day a winged creature mistakes her for a girl named Meara and kidnaps her from her apartment.  Taken into the Realm, a parallel land where magic and monsters exist, she’s horrified to learn her sadistic father sent the creature to recapture Meara, who turns out to be Hazel’s four year old half-sister. He needs a daughter to sacrifice in his quest for immortality and unrestrained power.  Unfortunately, Hazel becomes his preferred choice.

After narrowly escaping back to Denver, Hazel wants to forget the Realm and reclaim her comfy life.  She could go into hiding until the sacrificial window closes, but Meara is still out there. Daddy dearest is searching for the little girl, and Hazel is the only one who can return to the Realm to save her. Sure, Hazel can have her old life back, but at what cost?

I am a school social worker and a married mother of two young boys.  In 2011, two of my short stories were published in print anthologies (The Copier in Daily Bites of Flesh: 2011 and Phantom Deposit in Steamy Screams).  My urban fantasy, Bear Hug, was published in the February 2012 issue of the online journal, Hogglepot.

FINDING MEARA is an Urban Fantasy, complete at80,000 words.

Thank you for your time and attention,

Query Workshop 10--Times None

Title: TIMES NONE
Genre: YA Fantasy

Revision 1
Dear Agent:
Amanda Leonard doesn't know who her mother was. She wishes she did.

Amanda does know when the world is going to end. She wishes she didn't.

As long as she can remember, Amanda has been aware of a clock inside her head counting down to the apocalypse. She has never told anyone--not even her only family, the four "uncles" that adopted and raised her after her mom died. She's spent most her life trying to ignore it, but time is finally running out. The clock will strike midnight shortly after her upcoming eighteenth birthday.

Desperate for answers, Amanda digs through the remnants of her family's history, unearthing dark truths about her childhood, her uncles, and even her mother.  Amanda learns that she is no mere bystander to the approaching apocalypse, but its harbinger. Amanda is going to lose something in the coming days: her life, her family, or her world. As the harbinger, she will have to pick one, or risk losing everything. The walls of isolation Amanda spent her whole life building will come crashing down when she finds that the end of the world starts at home.

TIMES NONE, complete at85,000 words, is a YA contemporary fantasy that examines the end of the worldthrough the lenses of small-town intrigue, the bonds of family, and one young woman's journey to adulthood.

Sincerely,
  

Original
Dear Agent:

Amanda Leonard doesn't know who her mother was. She wishes she did.

Amanda does know when the world is going to end. She wishes she didn't.

As long as she can remember, Amanda has been aware of a clock inside her head counting down to doomsday. She has never told anyone--not even her only family, the four "uncles" that adopted and raised her after her mom died. She doesn't know why she's been given this knowledge of the future and noway to change it. Given that the clock will strike midnight shortly after her upcoming eighteenth birthday, she decides to drop out of college after only a semester and return home, hoping to find answers, and with them, some relief.

But Amanda's search for answers offers no comfort. As she digs through the remnants of her family's history, she uncovers dark truths about her childhood, her uncles, and even her mother.  Amanda learns that she is no mere bystander to the approaching apocalypse, but its harbinger. As the doomsday clock ticks down to midnight, Amanda will be forced to make an impossible choice, one that will either cost her life, her family, or her world. The walls of isolation Amanda spent her whole life building will come crashing down when she finds that the end of the world starts at home.

TIMES NONE, complete at 85,000 words, is a YA contemporary fantasy that examines the end of the world through the lenses of small-town intrigue, the bonds of family, and one young woman's journey to adulthood.

Sincerely,

BWC

Query Workshop 9--The Curse Merchant

Title: The Curse Merchant
Genre: Adult Urban Fantasy

Dorian Lake has spent years cornering the Baltimore hex-crafting market, twisting karma for jilted divorcees, vengeful fathers, or anyone who could pay his modest fee. But when a corrupt soul monger horns in on both his territory and his personal life, will his brilliance and his charisma be enough to save his career… and his soul?

Dorian’s unscrupulous rival, Neil Osterhaus, wouldn't be such a problem were it not for Carmen, Dorian's captivating ex-lover. After two years' absence Carmen arrives at Dorian’s doorstep with a problem: she sold her soul to Osterhaus, and has only two weeks to buy it back.  Dorian must weigh the prospect of winning back her affections against the sinister trade of soul-trafficking. As Dorian descends into the shadows of Baltimore’s underworld, he must decide how dark he is willing to paint his soul in order to save Carmen from eternal damnation – a task made difficult when he discovers that the last two years of his life have been a lie.

Complete at 81,800 words, THE CURSE MERCHANT is an urban fantasy novel that propels the reader into the trials of a charming man in a bastard's profession, while raising the question of where one's ethical line should be crossed.