Horrible Protagonists

Can an author make a protag too objectionable?

I say, yes.

I just finished the last book of a series by one of my favorite authors.

‘Former’ favorite authors, I should say.

The protag had a choice and in the words of a character in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, she chose poorly.

This woman began a relationship by lying to a worthy man. A. Huge. Whopper. Trust was very important to her when she was on the receiving end. But being truthful to the man she intends to spend the rest of her life with was inconvenient.

The ending of this four-book series made me want to throw my Kindle across the room. I refrained at the last minute.

The protag must grow, have human frailties, and make mistakes. But the author can’t make the protag so offensive that a reader is incoherent with outrage as I was.

I want to walk in the author’s world but in this case, with this writer, I have no common ground.

Great Titles, Part II

Do you find these titles/covers intriguing enough to check them out?

 


Foundation's Edge-Isaac Asimov

Possession-Elana Johnson

Night Circus-Erin Morgenstern

A Night and Blacker Darkness

Matched-Ally Condie

Clockwork Angel-Cassandra Clare

The Replacement-Brenna Yovanoff

And more of my favorites:

Ghost Story-Jim Butcher

Two covers for First Lord's Fury-Jim Butcher

Storm Born-Richelle Mead(hot girl with a tattoo)

Hounded-Kevin Hearne

My 1972 copy of The Fellowship of the Rings-JRR Tolkien

A Great Title

How important is the title of a book?

When I’m looking for a new book, I cruise the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section to begin with. After that, the book cover draws my attention.

(Let me say right now to all the illustrators and design folk: I am tired of the gal facing away with tattoos running around her naked waist. Loved it the first time I saw it, but now, blech. Find something different, people)

After the cover, the title of a book grabs me. It can keep me from moving on or even worse, roll my eyes. In the latter category, something like Love’s Savage Fury actually turns my stomach.

*must pause now to recover from actually typing the words*

I look for something in my favored genre and piques my interest. Single-worded titles pull me in, black covers, and pictures.

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick is a great example.

What title or cover snags your interest?

*Snap*–Goes the Tension

Keeping the Reader Involved.

You can create tension from many sources. Not just action, car chases, and shoot-em-ups.

Dialogue and conflict go together. “I know I shouldn’t do this but—” MC said.

We want to know why the MC pushes on when he/she knows they shouldn’t.

Conflict.

Pit allies against each other. One has misplaced loyalty. The other argues against a tactic. They disagree.

Conflict.

Tension comes from within. Emotions. Resistance. Arguments. Difference of opinion.

Use action to create tension.

Kick it into high gear. Take narratives from the dinner table to a battle scene. Show the characters going about their daily life.  Punctuate this with a little internal angst.

Then, EXPLODE into action.

The first chapter (chapter not prologue) of Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan illustrates this concept. One moment, the MC and his father are fixing a meal. Then a heavy knock at the door announces an attack. I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough after that.

Show conflict. Include tension on every page. But use a subtle touch. Let the reader experience the emotion. Don’t tell them. Let you MC convey this.

Example of ‘telling’:

“After receiving the award, Marge was unhappy.”

Example of ‘showing’:

“After receiving the award, Marge stared at the chair in front of her.”

Involve the reader in the story.

Send your query to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com

Prose That Compels

On deck this last week of 2011:

Submit your query to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com

Just send the meat, the three paragraphs that entice agents to ask for more pages.

Reminder. December’s prize goes to the follower who 1) submits at least once and

 2) comments.

Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly goes to the one who contributes the most.

Ya got this week to get ‘em in, at least one submission and all the comments you can muster. Winner to be announced next week.

Prose That Compels. I started reading a new book. But several chapters into it, I just couldn’t go on. It was awful.

It had good reviews. The storyline was great. Very intriguing. But something made me quit and set it aside. Why?

To discover the reason, I took samples from that book and a similar passage in a novel I enjoy, A Painted House by John Grisham. Both novels are in first person. I chose sections that contained internal dialogue and backstory.

What I found was this. The MCs began the same, second-guessing the motives of secondary characters. But Mr. Grisham stopped after the first sentence.

The book I didn’t care for continued the internal angst for the entire paragraph. ‘Who did he think he was…Why did my plan fall apart…I’m leaving as soon as I can ditch him.’

The constant internal monologue bordered on whining. I tired of it quickly and my eye skipped ahead.

In the excerpt from A Painted House, the protag worries about his Pappy. But that went straight into what might happen if his grandpa then confronted the thug and a resolution.

It had tension, action and I wanted to find out how it ended.

Tension is the key. Use conflict to pull the reader into your world and keep them there. Every page of your manuscript needs tension, in dialogue or in narrative.

Remember, this week it is Queries.

Send your query to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com.

It was a dark and Stormy Night...

Christmas Eve

     It was a dark and stormy night.

     The wind had been blowing most of the day and the snow had made driving nearly impossible, drifting over the roads, bringing traffic to a standstill, and stranding holiday travelers. She had shoveled the porch three times since dark and still the snow fell, blanketing everything in a dense layer of sparkling white that now reached the top step.

     Inside her house was warm and cozy, candles flickering on the mantle, and the pine scent of the tree wafting about to mingle with the smell of the wood burning in the hearth. The tree was decorated now, all the ornaments hung, the colored lights sparkling, and the star at the top a bright beacon.

     He wasn’t coming, she thought. Stranded no doubt, like everyone else.

     Her dark eyes went to the gifts she had so carefully wrapped that afternoon. She had used the special glitter tissue paper she’d been saving. She sighed.

     The champagne should be put away, and the shrimp cocktail, and the lovely salad with the pine nuts and cranberries that had taken her forever to make. The chocolate mousse was still chilling in the refrigerator but the whipped cream had probably fallen a bit by this time.

     The dog looked over at her from the matt by the door, his eyes sad. He gave a huge sigh and began to settle, reluctantly.

     Then his eyes popped open and his ears perked up.

     He jumped to his feet and barked at the glass. 

     Not a warning bark but an excited bark.

     She ran to the door and opened it, peering out into the snowy night and her heart skipped a beat.

     He was coming up the drive, covered in snow.

     She ran out to meet him, not caring how cold it was or that her boots would get wet. He opened his arms wide and she flew into them, wrapping herself around him. He held her tight, kissing her hair, her face. She walked him inside and took his heavy overcoat, laying it over the sofa, smoothing his damp hair back away from his blue eyes.

     She got the champagne out and they drank before the fire.

     “Are you hungry?’” she asked, “I’ve got…”

     “No food,” he said with a smile, “Just you.”

Rule #1

If there's one sure way to improve your writing skills it's to practice. It might not make you perfect (who is?) but it will make you pretty good. Even if you can only carve out an hour a day in which to write something - anything - you will eventually improve your craft. And if you make more time to write? You'll get better faster.

A while back I was doing just that, carving out an hour here and there between all the other things I had to do. But I wasn't getting where I wanted to go very fast so I decided to change my strategy. I quit watching a lot of tv (and yes! I miss it but it had to be done) and I quit trying to keep my house super clean and perfect. Now I write for a few hours almost every night plus 4-6 hours on the weekends (a little less in the summer and a little more in the winter). And guess what? Not only am I getting better but I'm also getting closer to my goal. Practice has made a difference.

If you want some extra practice time as well as an opportunity to discuss what you're working on, consider heading over to the Practice Room (see the picture on the sidebar). There are times to fit everyone's schedule and writers just like you who are trying to improve their craft. I usually go on Monday nights. Maybe I'll see you there :)


As for Rule #2, I'd have to say reading. What do you think? Or, care to add Rule #3?

A gift

My first memory is the day I told my first lie.

It was my third birthday and, as only the second grandchild born, I was a little bit spoiled in having all my aunts, uncles, parents and sister gathered together at my Nana’s house to celebrate.

What I wanted was a truck, a gloriously heavy yellow metal Tonka dump-trunk like my sister had, large enough for a small child to sit in. I was not allowed to sit in hers. What I got was a blonde doll who you fed water to with a bottle... and then you would sit the doll on a pink, plastic potty where... well, you get the idea.

I remember the moment unwrapping it, I remember the disgust I felt when I figured out its very limited purpose... and I remember the brilliant smile on my Nana’s face, so excited was she that I had opened her gift first.

My first memory is the day I told my first lie. Somewhere in a photo album, there is a picture of me with my Nana, my tiny face twisted by the new and unfamiliar desire to please someone other than myself. And though I hated that doll and never played with it, I can clearly remember that ugly, pink plastic potty.

I remember those Tonka trucks. My brother had one. Really like this piece.

The Stupid Crown

I could tell the story about the standup doll I received or the jeans my brother got wrapped in a box labeled Lionel trains. (He got the trains wrapped in the Levi box). But the one I’ll go with is the day I wore the Stupid Crown.

My daughter was expecting a dollhouse in that last gift under the tree. But I didn’t know that. I thought she wanted a drum. Let’s just say, when she opened it, she was underwhelmed. Polite but grief-stricken that her dolls had no home. The Stupid Crown was all mine that day. Twenty years later, we still talk about it.

 I'm thankful not have worn the stupid crown.

your holiday assignment should you choose to accept it...

To celebrate the holiday season, I was hoping some of you would be willing to submit something about a gift you received or gave. It could be a Mother’s Day Gift, Father’s Day, Birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other of gift-giving holiday I may be unaware of (which would actually be interesting). It could be a gift you liked, hated, or just didn’t know what to do with. It could be a gift you gave you wish you hadn't. It could be the note you wrote to Aunt Betty for the sweater you’d be mortified to wear. You can even make something up :) Whatever. Just make it something about a gift. Say, somewhere between one and five paragraphs.

Email your submissions to: unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com with gift as the subject.

C’mon! It’ll be fun!

Scene Setting #2

Here is another scene setting section.

The hero is about to divulge precious information as they go to a place of safety.

When they entered, Hasan’s uncle waved on the lights. Geri noted his compact office space, complete with a tidy desk and 72” compucenter screen on the wall. But past that, the room opened up to reveal an elaborate laboratory.

Hasan’s face lit up at the magnitude of his uncle’s facilities. “You have added so much, Uncle,” he said as he took in the surroundings like a special guest at Willy Wonka’s candy factory. In addition to the expected laboratory work stations with test tubes, beakers, and microscopes, wall screens hung around the room, displaying x-rays and collected data in tables, graphs and charts. Ominous looking machines lined the back wall. But the items that drew the most attention were the mounted extremities. Clear plastic-encased robotic hands, limbs and feet covered in flesh and pumping blood.

After they look around, they get down to business. So what do you think? Too much? Too little?

And I have room for one more submission - long or short. I know there is a lot going on so I appreciate your work =) Thanks!

A Break in the Scene

Today, we take a break from the scene. We are honored to present to you, an interview with S. R. Johannes, author of UNTRACEABLE. Huntress reviewed her latest publication, a YA adventure, here. But more than an author, Ms. Johannes is also fluent in marketing. We asked her about marketing and her book.

1)    What is your marketing background?

I got an MBA at Auburn University and joined Andersen Consulting. In 2000, I quit on a whim due to tons of travel and a life event. I decided to do freelance consulting for a couple of years. But my client sought me out and eventually hired me into a bank as an executive where I did associate communications and marketing. I eventually left in 2006 went back to working for myself, partly so I could be with kids more. Also I was tired of working 70 hours a week with a baby. I started doing marketing jobs with clients like Spanx and Goody Products. I’ve been writing on the side since my daughter was born.

Geez I sound boring.

2)    Can you give us Fast Five Marketing tips?

Marketing is really just the art of getting known, liked and trusted, in the hopes of inspiring action. There’s a few ways to do this:

·         Network – which means build long lasting and trust worthy relationships not spamming.

·         Start building a platform now – before you get published – so people start to learn about who you are and what you do.

·         Branding - Identify what kind of writer you want to be and how you want to be seen by others

·         Do a PROFESSIONAL web site! Yes you have to in this day and age.

·         Get a professional-looking business card made – it’s worth the money. Now you can get them done online for a great price.

3)    How do you feel about Social Media and Marketing?

I think marketing, social media, social networking, branding, publicity are killer words. They are all terms that freak writers out and keep them from moving forward. Or that paralyze them into thinking they can’t do any of it themselves.

In a nutshell, marketing and social media is really just about creating a brand, a great product, and building relationships – whether online or not. I think we need to stop thinking of it as marketing or social networking. Just get out there with a professional presence, build relationships, help people, and put out good books.

4)    Where do you see publishers and agents in the next 5-10 years?

Gosh I have no idea. I think the lines are blurring, which to me means they will all be involved in everything at some point. Some writers will be doing more marketing. Some agents will be doing more publishing. And publishers will be changing with the digital world. So you might as well start learning about all facets of the industry - selling, editing, and marketing and be ready to help where you need to in order to get your books in front of the audience.

Unless you are Stephanie Meyer or JK Rowling – writers will never be just writers – we will always have to wear many different hats. Never again, will we just sit around and write all the time.

5)    You mention there is a quality stigma for self-publishers, could you elaborate?

I think over the last 5 years, a lot of people turned to vanity presses and PODs that were of low quality. Either that or they wrote something in a week, printed it out and copied it at Kinkos with a spiral binding. Then sold it out of his or her with a homemade sticker that said $2.99. That all got lumped into self-pubbing.

So now, whenever we hear someone is self-pubbing – we assume they aren’t good enough to get pubbed and so they will only put out a crappy project. I think today we are seeing more and more credible authors on the indie scene.

Self-pubbing is a short cut to publishing process but it is NOT a shortcut to writing.

We have to remember Christopher Paolini and John Grisham were both self published. Mark Twain was self-published. There is a line between the good and not so good – as in any industry.

6)    What was your inspiration for writing UNTRACEABLE?

My hubby came home one day from camping and said, “I was so deep in the woods, crazy people could do anything and get away with it.” A year later, I went to Cherokee NC and stumbled upon the bear pits there. Those 2 ideas came together and Untraceable was born.

7) Could you give us an excerpt from UNTRACEABLE showing off Grace's wilderness experience?

Deciding to make a lean-to shelter, I cut my tarp into two pieces. Half to make a waterproof roof and the other half for bedding. After collecting large, leafy branches, I construct two Y-shaped supports and hammer them into the ground with a rock. Then I suspend a long pole along the top and lean strong branches against the beam. Next step is to weave saplings over and under the sloping branches, creating a thick lattice that will not only hide me, but keep me from being exposed to any rain or wind.

A fire is one of the most important things to have if you’re lost or stuck out in the woods. Somehow it lifts your spirits. I stack up a small nest of tinders and use a flint to catch a spark. As soon as the pile starts to smoke, I blow lightly to massage any flickers of flame. Once a fire begins to dance, I break a few sticks and stack them on top until it’s roaring with warmth.

I sit on my rain poncho and rub my hands together. There’s something about making a fire that makes you feel safe. The light cuts the darkness in half, preventing me from being swallowed. I grip the handle of my knife and keep it close.

Just in case.

Thank you, Shelli! It sounds like we writers have a lot more work ahead of us after we finish the book. We are coming into the industry at a time of big changes with bigger challenges, especially in self promotion. Thanks for the advice!

And I'm excited to read this book! Especially after hearing Grace's brave voice in that snippet!

Setting the Scene 1

Thanks for all the comments yesterday! Made me feel much better about my scanty descriptions - I've cut and camouflaged a lot in my thriller. I am not as eloquent a writer as some, so that genre is good for me! (And I think my MG fantasy won't need as much pretty details either, it takes place in a "regular" school =)

On to the submission. Here is something short and tidy!

(The MC is a passenger in a van driven by Olive. She notes the white fence along the road.)

Olive slowed the van and turned into our drive, where the composite fencing meeting (met) the crumbled stone gateposts like swanky tattooed punks beside two appalled dignitaries.  The bright white of the fence planks seemed too new for the gray limestone sentinels. Olive refused to replace the weathered limestone gateposts that had stood for over a hundred years. Respect history, she had said when I complained.

A trivial point made at a time of relative safety.

I love the "like swanky tattooed punks beside two appalled dignitaries" - gave me a clear image! The only thing I might change is a replacement for the repetition of limestone and gateposts - weathered guardians? gatekeepers?

Great scene!

Where am I?

Setting the scene is an important part of the story. Each new place where action happens should be described to the reader. But not so much that we lull the reader to sleep with our beautiful description.

I also believe that different genres require different extents of detail. Fantasy and Sci Fi usually need more for world building, special items mere humans are unfamiliar with, new technology we can only dream of. But for romance, the scenes are secondary to the emotion and character interaction - who cares where they are? And for thrillers, even less. Action is the focus.

Right now I am reading two books, well three. But I am going to give you scenes from two. See if you can tell the genre by the descriptions.

Scene 1
...as I moved down the narrow gangway, past the two rear boilers that powered the steering engines. The low thrum of the engines as they turned the propellers sounded in time to the throb of movement felt in the metal framework structure that ran the length, breadth, and height of the ship. It was a familiar sensation, one I didn't even think of now, and certainly not one I noticed until I was on land, and it was missing.

Scene 2
It was a dark, primal place, three acres of old forest untouched for ten thousand years as the gloomy castle rose around it. It smelled of moist earth and decay. No redwoods grew here. This was a wood of stubborn sentinel trees armoured in grey-green needles, of mighty oaks, of ironwoods as old as the realm itself. Here thick black trunks crowded close together while twisted branches wove a dense canopy overhead and misshapen roots wrestled beneath the soil.

Can you tell the difference?

Hints for the first are some of the words: thrum, throb, sensation. Most of the description is only in the beginning. This was one of the few sections without dialog. It is an excerpt from STEAMED by Katie MacAlister - a steampunk romance.

For the second, long winded descriptions like this have taken up the first 40 pages or so. Each chapter elegantly introduces a new character and back story. This is only part of a paragraph from A GAME OF THRONES by George R. R. Martin - epic fantasy. Yes, awesome series, awesome author and I'm sure there is an awesome story, if I can wade through the details to find it! I love fantasy, and I loved the WHEEL OF TIME series by Robert Jordan (bless his soul). I'm just having a hard time getting into this, but I haven't given up yet.

Reading beautifully described scenes like these makes me wonder - am I giving enough setting details? Does the reader feel like they are there? But mine is a thriller and my critters keep telling me my descriptions are slowing down the action. So I believe our genre sets the limits to our scene setting.

What do you think? Do you have a scene description to submit? Please share it! I'll be here all week =)

High School Short Story Contest.

Last year I helped judge this contest and it was a wonderful experience. Unfortunately, I had to bow out this year, but I firmly believe in Brian Claspell's goals. He wants to encourage teens to write.

This is a nation wide contest. Please share the information with your local area high schools if you have contacts there or are comfortable with emailing it to them. 

2012 “Imagination begins with you…”

Annual High School Short Story Contest

Contest Description: Short story, less than 1,500 words.

Prizes: 
First place winner receives $50 and $50 to school library

Second place winner receives $25 and $25 school library

Third place winner receives $10 and $10 school library

Deadline: emailed or post marked by March 15, 2012

Submission: email to bclaspell@gmail.com (no attachments please, just include story in the text of the email) or mail to Brian Claspell - 104 Ivy Hollow Ln - Mooresville, NC 28117. Include: Name, email address, high school and year in school, word count, and title of story.

Winners announced in May. Winning stories will be posted on Brian Claspell - Author Facebook fan page. Some entries, including winners, may be published in a collection of short stories (Note: Any proceeds from the sale of this collection will be used solely for future short story contest and educational charities).

Criteria: Short stories will be judged on creativity and imagination. Any genre (fiction/non-fiction) is acceptable.

Complete contest rules can be found on "Brian Claspell - Author" Facebook fan page.

Judge Bio’s

1) Amy Hancock is the author of “Evie’s First Magic Lesson”. You can learn more about Amy at her Amazon author’s page (Amy's Amazon Author’s Page).

2) Brian Claspell is the author of “Living by Grace” and winner of several local writing contests. He is also the author of the eBook “Terrorist ACT” available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. You can learn more about Brian on his Facebook page “Brian Claspell – Author” Fan Page

3) Lori Lohmeyer is an avid blogger (What Remains Now) and is working on her first novel. She is retired from the US Army Reserves and has three retired racing greyhounds. Join her adventure by visiting her blog.

4) Larry Beyer is a member of International Thriller Writers, Sisters/Misters in Crime and a writer’s critique group. After twenty-five years in corporate America and traveling abroad, Larry began to pursue his passion for writing in 2010. He lives in Battle Creek, MI with his wife and three children.

Alternate Judge:

1)Samantha Fahlsing is a 19-year-old full time student at Ball State University, seeking a master’s in Creative Writing and minoring in Digital Publishing and Professional writing. She hopes to someday become an Author and Book Editor. Samantha first found her passion for writing at the age of 14 and has been writing since. She is currently working on her first book. Samantha lives in Indianapolis, IN with her mom and two sisters.

2)Note: Additional alternate judges may be added.

Voice #3

“So why are we sneakin around?” Geri asked. She daintily held up her dress to keep from muddying it as they scooted back down the side of the stables. She almost swore when a bush snagged her.

“I don’t want security to get suspicious and bother us,” he whispered back to her.

Slouching in the bushes won’t make them suspicious at all, she said to herself sarcastically. (heh heh) “Why are you so interested in the stables?”

He turned around and looked at her. She fluttered her bright green eyes back at him, sparkling and mischievous. She knew how to turn on the charm, it was hopeless for him to resist. “You are going to stay with me all night, aren’t you,” he said. (For some reason I read this as a question the first time. Like he was pleading with her to stay. Then I realized it was more of a statement. Try changing 'you are' to 'you're staying'. Could just be me though. :)

“Not lettin you outta my sight,” she said with a big smile. “You are too intriguing, J.L.” (I haven't been able to find the answer on the lettin' or lettin question. I'll keep looking. Anyone else have any luck?)

“Then I’m going to have to tell you,” he said. He turned his back to her and started walking again. “I’m a private investigator,” he whispered over his shoulder.

“No!” she said, pretending to be shocked as she smirked behind his back. (I'm curious why she reacts this way.)

“Yes. I’m sorry I deceived you. I had a client who was concerned about his missing boss. One of those mysterious disappearances. He tried to find out what happened and got paranoid, thought he was being followed. At first I didn’t take him seriously. Now he’s dead.” He paused to scan the area.

“Oh my goodness!” Geri gasped and put her hand to her mouth.

“While I’ve been investigating, another ‘accident’ happened, my secretary has gone missing, and yesterday I caught some guy following me with a gun.”

She grabbed his arm to pretend she was shocked. “Did he shoot at you?” Geri felt sorry for him. Poor guy. He probably never saw so much action in all his life.

I think the voice is great in all of this, but not knowing the background, some of the dialogue and the girl's reactions seems off. He sounds serious, but she's not taking him seriously. I'm sure all of it makes sense in context with what comes before. 

Can we guess your character's age?

I have one more submission to post, but while I'm getting it ready I thought you might enjoy this post by agent assistant Gabriela Lessa on voice and how important it is to your writing. Especially when it comes to age appropriate content.

Grabriela is judging a blogfest hosted by Brenda Drake. I'm taking part in it and you can read my entry Here.