tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post9003841960081576113..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: SERENITY part fourHuntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-87436133775285624172013-08-09T13:16:43.687-05:002013-08-09T13:16:43.687-05:00The doctor's analysis seems too quick. How abo...The doctor's analysis seems too quick. How about leading us into it at a slower pace. Like Patchi says, '...we want to live it...'. Give us a chance to catch up, lol. You've lived with these Voices. You know everything about them. Slow down and introduce us properly.<br /><br />That said, I am hooked though. I want to know more about this young man. You've created interest and the need to learn more. Excellent. <br /><br />Huntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-51436620134421290322013-08-09T12:57:44.041-05:002013-08-09T12:57:44.041-05:00I agree with Marcy that his story is more interest...I agree with Marcy that his story is more interesting, but that might be because there is more info in this chapter than the previous one. In both cases, however, I think you need to go deeper into the characters, their problems, reactions, and motivation. You're showing us highlights, we want to live it.Patchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09097638657085263738noreply@blogger.com