tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post1271013282252291279..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: Query Critique - The Last ClassHuntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-80748072382304938242014-06-15T11:29:12.584-05:002014-06-15T11:29:12.584-05:00Awesome comments and a lot to think about moving f...Awesome comments and a lot to think about moving forward. I do know that I will need to keep the "genre" as mainstream and edgy as it's the best fit without a conventional genre. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10301099322052673582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-39491294036006690742014-06-14T20:30:41.814-05:002014-06-14T20:30:41.814-05:00For me, this is way too general. It sounds like &q...For me, this is way too general. It sounds like "my story is about this" rather than showing what the story is about. You told us who, but names don't mean much. Who is Neil? What does he want? What does he need to do to get it? Who or what is trying to prevent him from getting it? What does he need to do to get around him or it?Liz A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16531953467834426316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-71113161558401181912014-06-14T09:33:28.399-05:002014-06-14T09:33:28.399-05:00For me, character is King and this query gives me ...For me, character is King and this query gives me nothing about character and therefore nothing to care about. It doesn't matter how big the story is or how great the message, if I don't have a character or two to care about I'm not interested. That doesn't mean that some agent might not feel differently but as it stands this query doesn't make me want to read the book. <br /><br />The second problem is that this query doesn't tell me (except in general terms) what the story is about. Bullying, rape, and murder, make for compelling themes but what exactly is this story about? Is it a mystery? A coming of age story? YA contemporary? Agents want to know these things and as an author, we need to make sure we send the right genre to the right agent. <br /><br />Lastly, in order for characters to evolve in some way, there usually has to be a choice (character, conflict, and choice) and I don't see one here. What choices do the characters make that change things for them or others? How is it difficult? <br /><br />Like Carol said, you don't necessarily have to follow established guidelines for a query, but unless your a known author with a known track record, it's best to start by doing things by the book - imo. <br /><br />That said, this is just one opinion in a sea of many and someone else might feel quite differently.mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.com