tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post5821676310691065889..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: Query Critique - SunriseHuntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-63532282270292852492014-02-07T17:13:41.371-06:002014-02-07T17:13:41.371-06:00Awesome feedback! Thanks, everyone! This blog rock...Awesome feedback! Thanks, everyone! This blog rocks!!!<br /><br />ScottAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02597411756038998230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-5040903625010821102014-02-05T00:37:53.838-06:002014-02-05T00:37:53.838-06:00ONE MORE THING!
Stop at "Thank you for your...ONE MORE THING! <br /><br />Stop at "Thank you for your time." Most agents won't even get back to you, and apparently they read "Looking forward to hearing from you soon." as highly presumptuous. Misha Gerrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06364173848456424521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-69822735553518665782014-02-05T00:36:03.071-06:002014-02-05T00:36:03.071-06:00Just a note on structure:
Housekeeping (word cou...Just a note on structure: <br /><br />Housekeeping (word count, title, target market) should go right at the bottom. Reason for this is that an agent/assistant reads tons of queries every day. If you start with the boring bit, they'll just skip your query altogether. <br /><br />As for the bio, stick to publishing experience as far as possible. If you have none, rather skip it, unless the agency/publisher specifically asks you to say more about yourself. Misha Gerrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06364173848456424521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-49970166551618276802014-02-04T20:25:37.650-06:002014-02-04T20:25:37.650-06:00ditto the above. I'll just add that I read tha...ditto the above. I'll just add that I read that agents like queries to focus on character, conflict and choice. And according to agent Janet Reid, these questions need to be answered in the query letter:<br /><br /> <br />1. What does mc want (don’t tell what she doesn't want)<br /><br />2. Who/What is the antagoinist? <br /><br />3. What's keeping mc from getting what she wants?<br /><br /><br />Hope this helps :)mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-86057251016303230412014-02-04T09:33:12.393-06:002014-02-04T09:33:12.393-06:00Carol hit everything I would have said. There is a...Carol hit everything I would have said. There is a lot of potential here, but you are so vague that too many questions come up. You must be clear about the character, conflict and stakes in the query. I know how hard it is to do because we all want the reader to be surprised when they get into the pages, but the agent needs to know the concept of the story before they'll even start reading. <br /><br />I suggest: <br />1. Make the inciting incident very clear--more about the shooting and why Parker thinks he's responsible<br />2. Clarify what Parker's struggle is. What do you mean by "downward spiral"? Who is seeking revenge?<br />3. What is the consequence if Parker loses his struggle? I know what Marie is afraid to lose, but what is Parker afraid to lose?<br /><br />Otherwise, just like Carol, I'd probably read a few pages to see what's going on. Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.com