tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post5801026532678633973..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: Tell Us About Your Story #4Huntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-27819224086986895312013-03-06T22:59:42.656-06:002013-03-06T22:59:42.656-06:00I'd rework the one sentence. If they all get e...I'd rework the one sentence. If they all get equal time I don't think it matters who you focus on. You could always rewrite it all focused on Owen, but the 2 paragraphs you sent are awesome! The voice is great and that's what pulled me in. I loved the way it sounded and didn't even pick at the words. <br />Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-37071704308206426852013-03-06T22:22:11.085-06:002013-03-06T22:22:11.085-06:00Thanks everyone for the input! So...Question...I ...Thanks everyone for the input! So...Question...I get that I should leave the paragraph with Owen out entirely... But the part that starts "Can these three find common ground..." Should I re-work that, or leave that out too?<br /><br />Each of the characters get about equal focus in the book...but if I had to pick a Main Character I'd say Owen was the Main. I don't know if that matters?<br /><br />Alicia Willette-Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02174871217832164495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-26876546007444528952013-03-06T13:52:26.166-06:002013-03-06T13:52:26.166-06:00Loved the first 2 paragraphs. Actually the first d...Loved the first 2 paragraphs. Actually the first did the job. Definitely get rid of the last one. It added confusion where there was none. Just focus on Victoria and Dr. Jekyll.Patchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09097638657085263738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-42893768891624986652013-03-06T11:17:35.383-06:002013-03-06T11:17:35.383-06:00Agreed! That first paragraph rocks!Agreed! That first paragraph rocks!AVDutsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06068169781166515350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-24011185748972658402013-03-06T06:51:29.605-06:002013-03-06T06:51:29.605-06:00I would read more based on the single first paragr...I would read more based on the single first paragraph :)mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.com