tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post3890207983316778130..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: Expressing Emotions #1Huntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-9563681602568906462011-11-15T21:53:08.741-06:002011-11-15T21:53:08.741-06:00I like Tara's crits. I can't answer to Hun...I like Tara's crits. I can't answer to Huntress' comments as I've only witnessed Animals dying but I liked Tara's crits.mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-53079041327030359992011-11-15T16:58:36.530-06:002011-11-15T16:58:36.530-06:00The crit for this really tightened it up...A LOT! ...The crit for this really tightened it up...A LOT! Gives it much more impact.<br /><br />I can certainly appreciate Huntress's opinion. I've only experienced a few deaths, the one where a guy got shot in front of me being the strongest memory. His was a gurgled, rattling, choke-heave-seizing disaster that made me puke in my mouth. I was too late to witness my mother's death but in talking to the one person who watched her die, it was a slow drain away. One last breath with a sigh as her chest fell one last time. Perhaps they romanticized it for me. More research could certainly be helpful to ensure the death rings true.Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-33266637976322481412011-11-15T14:20:23.458-06:002011-11-15T14:20:23.458-06:00Tears blurred my vision, warming my face as they l...<i>Tears blurred my vision, warming my face as they left hot streaks down my cheeks.</i> The end of this sentence reads repetitive and slightly akward to me. It might sound better as <i>warming my face as they streaked down my cheeks</i>. This faces the sentence stronger and more solid.<br /><br />This is the only other comment I have. I read Huntress's comment above and, while she may be right, I don't know, I still enjoyed it. ^^Brooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-71153900120731459912011-11-15T09:23:02.069-06:002011-11-15T09:23:02.069-06:00As always, this is IMHO.
I agree with Tara’s crits...As always, this is IMHO.<br />I agree with Tara’s crits but I will go a step further.<br /><br />This will sound cruel and I apologize ahead of time but...<br />…this reads like a movie script. <br /><br />Go to a *gulp* site that shows an actual death *gulp part deux* and note how a person actually dies.<br /><br />Um. Just for reference, I was present when a person died and this scene does not ring true.<br /><br />Research will lead you down many different trails. This particular avenue is not pleasant but for the sake of accuracy, you might need more research.Huntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.com