tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post3063530127681458884..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: #3 Twitter Pitches and LoglinesHuntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-874672228078445972012-09-13T16:19:20.059-05:002012-09-13T16:19:20.059-05:00I like the second part. The "a chance to fall...I like the second part. The "a chance to fall in love and have a family" feels too generic to me.Liz A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16531953467834426316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-72970264796532092102012-09-13T14:13:58.563-05:002012-09-13T14:13:58.563-05:00I agree with Ink's comment. I was tripping ove...I agree with Ink's comment. I was tripping over that as well and I think they've found a solution.Brooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-56065839201325709702012-09-13T08:41:15.307-05:002012-09-13T08:41:15.307-05:00I like this a lot.
I stumbled on "don't...I like this a lot. <br /><br />I stumbled on "don't mind destroying" Maybe something like, "don't care if they destroy him..."Ink in the Bookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03117718811407968345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-37850926485430748222012-09-13T08:22:36.807-05:002012-09-13T08:22:36.807-05:00I like the logline as is. But if koral is doing so...I like the logline as is. But if koral is doing something to get what he wants, you might want to mention that instead.Patchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09097638657085263738noreply@blogger.com