tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post2631072256551567841..comments2023-08-01T05:26:06.539-05:00Comments on Unicorn Bell: Dear Katherine - part 3Huntresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-15050776237686608162013-06-20T10:48:35.739-05:002013-06-20T10:48:35.739-05:00Thanks for the comments.
I can move part of this ...Thanks for the comments.<br /><br />I can move part of this conversation to the restaurant and build that scene up so there is more characterization all around. That might be a good spot to talk about how traveling is rare in the galaxy. <br /><br />I don't want Katherine to come across as naive. She's 32 (no college) and she's been traveling for 14 years. She's met different people along the way and, given her lifestyle, she does need to trust strangers to a certain level. Some of the more remote colonies have no hotels and the only option is to rent a room in someone's house.<br /><br />Katherine lives for the moment and that can get her into trouble. She just spent her savings on a tattoo because of her impulsiveness. Now she needs food and lodgings on a strange settlement. When Derek pays the bill, she's not going to argue and waste the little money she has left. Then he offers her a free room. Her other option is to look for a different stranger to barter with. Patchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09097638657085263738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4393512822627120580.post-86728790853246008762013-06-20T09:16:38.331-05:002013-06-20T09:16:38.331-05:00This reads like the scene in a scary movie when on...This reads like the scene in a scary movie when one of the characters goes down to the basement after the lights go off. You want to yell, ARe You StUpid or what?<br /><br />Is crime so non-existent in this world that she doesn't have to worry about two strange men? <br /><br />Also, be careful of those 'well, duh' sections. The first sentence needs cut. You don't need to "tell" us that Rick is intervening before she replies. Just let him say it and "show" the reader his agitation/irritation.Huntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.com