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Wednesday, February 17, 2016

First Page--Search For Knowledge

It's not too late to send in your first page to be entered in the contest. The novel itself does not have to be finished. Send your entry to charity.bradford@gmail.com and include your:
Name, Title, Genre, Word count, and first page.

This entry is NOT eligible for the contest. However, my sequel is coming out later this year and I'd like your feedback.

Title: SEARCH FOR KNOWLEDGE, Sequel to THE MAGIC WAKES (WiDo Publishing, 2013)
Genre: Science Fantasy
Word count: complete at 77,000


First Page:

Four tiny suns washed out the sky, casting a mauve twilight over the dragon council. The dismal planet had been the dragon’s first world. It resided in a cluster of dying stars that had long since drifted outside the galactic disk. Life had ceased, and only cold barren rocks existed in the perpetual dusk. The dragon lords never stayed long, but it remained the preferred meeting ground when they were between spheres.

Jewel shuddered at the thought of living here. There would never again be warmth from the suns or life to fill the air with sound or smell. She’d been here an hour and already missed Sendek. With a sigh she returned her attention to those around her.

Dragons of every age and size filled the amphitheater-like valley. The dominant green clan took the place of honor on the field, but equal numbers of reds, blues, and silvers lined the perimeter. The hiss of their steamy breath conveyed the underlying tension as they waited for her report.

Feeling small in the midst of so many other dragons, Jewel paced the center of the circle before two males. One green, the other blue. Their normally bright colors dulled in the dim light on the planet. She wished she could see them in the blaze of Sendek’s suns once more. In the brightness of that planet they had shone with glittery opalescence equal to the spirits burning inside the flesh and bone bodies. This was her chance to convince them to return to the home of her heart.

2 comments:

Huntress said...

The phrase “...clusters of dying stars that had long since drifted outside the galactic disk...” hooked me. Made me say Oh.

Excellent, muted descriptions in this paragraph...that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh.

And you know how I love those short sentences.

This is exactly my cuppa. Great structure, small on adjectives/adverbs, paints a picture in my mind. Holy Cannoli, I’m there, right now, waiting to see what happens.
Super Duper, Charity.

Patchi said...

Great descriptions and I really liked how you ended the page with the character's goal. I can really feel her frame of mind, and I'd turn the page to see how the big dragons react.