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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Drabble #1 First, the Treasure

First, the Treasure 

The young pirate’s boots clumsily sought each point of the triangle drawing on the cave floor. One misstep, and the walls would fall, burying him and the treasure in a nest of rubble and gold coins.

But stumble, he did. The cavern trembled, and a plethora of rocks from pebbles to boulders filled the entrance before he realized what he’d done. He clutched his map as he was buried, the X his downfall, inches above wealth, an inch from death. He’d arranged his quest too hastily.

His last thought was I should have searched for the Fountain of Youth first.

8 comments:

Charity Bradford said...

Ha! How many times do we chase our dreams in the wrong order? Nicely done.

Kristina Serrano said...

Thank you! :D And I just noticed that the second "of" in the first paragraph should have been "and." Are little grammar corrections allowed once the contest starts? :)

Huntress, aka CD Coffelt said...

Made me laugh

Charity Bradford said...

No worries Kristina. I fixed it for you.

Ginger Faulkner said...

I liked the flow of action. And the last line made me smile, it was very clever!

Hillary said...

I liked this one too! Clever and fun! Nicely done!

mshatch said...

Great last line :)

Kristin Smith said...

Love this! Especially the line "He clutched his map as he was buried, the X his downfall, inches above wealth, an inch from death." Great job!!