An unselfish wish made on the horn of a unicorn will come true. Our wish? To support the writing community by giving constructive tips and criticism through submissions. Check out the submissions tab for more information. We can survive the crucible of fire together.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Hook #8

I sat packed into the back of a hummer with a bunch of Army guys. The convoy I’d joined currently headed to a compound where a local school was located. The air inside the cab was stale and charged with a nervous energy.

2 comments:

mshatch said...

To me a hook hints at what the story will be about and unfortunately this doesn't do it for me.

Huntress said...

The action doesn't start until the third sentence. Lots of 'tell' in the rest of it.