An unselfish wish made on the horn of a unicorn will come true. Our wish? To support the writing community by giving constructive tips and criticism through submissions. Check out the submissions tab for more information. We can survive the crucible of fire together.

Monday, August 27, 2012

QueryCon #4--The Curse Merchant

Title: The Curse Merchant
Genre: Adult Urban Fantasy
Name: J.P. Sloan


Dorian Lake has spent years cornering the Baltimore hex-crafting market, using his skills at the hermetic arts to exact karmic justice for those whom the system has failed. He keeps his magic clean and free of soul-corrupting Netherwork, thus avoiding both the karmic blow-back of his practice and the notice of the Presidium, a powerful cabal of practitioners that polices the esoteric arts in America.  However, when an unscrupulous Netherworker interferes with both his business and his personal life, Dorian's disarming charisma and hermetic savvy may not be enough to keep his soul out of jeopardy.

His rival, a soul monger named Neil Osterhaus, wouldn't be such a problem were it not for Carmen, Dorian's captivating ex-lover. After two years' absence Carmen arrives at Dorian’s doorstep with a problem: she sold her soul to Osterhaus, and has only two weeks to buy it back.  Hoping to win back Carmen's affections, Dorian must find a replacement soul without tainting his own. As Dorian descends into the shadows of Baltimore’s underworld, he must decide how low he is willing to stoop in order to save Carmen from eternal damnation... with the Presidium watching, waiting for him to cross the line.

Complete at 82,000 words, THE CURSE MERCHANT is an urban fantasy novel with series potential, that propels the reader into the trials of a charming man in a bastard's profession.

5 comments:

Krystal Wade said...

I think your paragraphs might be a little too long, but the premise definitely sounds promising. :-)

Nancy M Bell said...

Honestly, I would go with just the first paragraph and the last one. Leave out the one starting His rival, a soul Your first paragraph is enough to capture my interest, the other paragraph isn't needed in this query.

Amy Lichtenhan said...

Hi JP,

Awesome job. Your plot line is very interesting.

The only thing I did notice was your first paragraph is a bit wordy, almost like you're trying too hard to fit in as many words as you can. It would help to cut one or two of those clunky words out of each the first three sentences to improve the flow.

abuckley23 said...

Hi JP,

The first paragraph was very wordy, you can simplify it and still get your plot across. I agree with cutting the middle paragraph. The last one is perfect!

jpsloan said...

Thank you, one and all, for your input and for taking the time to scour over these entries! Best of luck, and I hope that each of you find some successful future clients.