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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Senses #2

Agony wars with my despair. Alone, except for the red-barred snake that makes lazy s-curves toward me from one slope of the ravine. I twist away but pain in my shin explodes. My scream smothers the sound of the bones grating in my broken leg. Dust hangs in the air, stirred from my fall. The grit tastes like ashes on my tongue. Like regret.

2 comments:

Charity Bradford said...

I love the image of the snake taking its time to get to the MC, and I felt the sudden pain that came with the motion.

Bones grating...wonderful.

I could see (love the dust hanging in the air), hear the scream of agony, taste the grit (which also triggers a feel response from me).

For feeling, I think the "explosion" and "bones grating" will evoke a sensation in most people.

Nicely done.

Huntress said...

I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks Charity for this great experiment in seeing, hearing, tasting and feeling as we write.